Pimps, Ninja, and Fans,
Shattered Glass by
Dancing in clubs is always an interesting experience. Personally, I enjoy running the dance circuit because it allows me to meet my fans and see the country. Sometimes, however, things can get weird. This is one of those stories.
A few years ago, I was booked at the Excalibur in Columbus, Ohio. It?s one of my favorite clubs so I performed there about four times a year. On a Friday night, the club owner asked if I could stay over an extra day and open for Jenna Jameson, who was brand new to the circuit.
I started my show with Jenna and the club owner sitting at the front of the stage. I was halfway through my first song when I took off both my shoes, which was a trademark of my routine at the time. I thought I heard cheering coming from the front of the stage, but I was wrong ? it was Jenna screaming. Then, inexplicably, she picked up a glass and shattered it on the stage, sending shards everywhere. I was stunned and bewildered by her bizarre behavior, but completed my set as best I could before returning to my dressing room to tend to a cut on my knee.
As I cleaned myself up, the club owner asked if I could do him another favor. Jenna, he said, refused to go on stage after me. What more could I do, I asked? Besides, after Jenna?s childish tantrum, I wasn?t in much of a mood to do anything more for her. However, I really liked the club owner because he had always been good to me over the years, so I offered to have my crew run my lights and sound for Jenna as a way of keeping the peace. He agreed, she agreed and the show went on.
I told the club owner it?s not the lights, the sound or the technical display that makes a successful show, it?s the entertainer. A true professional is one who has both talent and class and is willing to do whatever is necessary to entertain the audience.
It must be true you can take the girl out of the trailer but you can?t take the trailer out of the girl. She was a heartless diva then, and she?s a heartless diva now. Unfortunately, divas seldom last long in this industry, which is a lesson Jenna will almost certainly learn the hard way.
The preceding story is a result of the challenge that NinjaPimp made to Jenna Jameson and Teri Weigel in last month's issue. We have have since been in contact with Ms. Jameson. Hopefully, we will be able to print her side of the story as well. Please note that NinjaPimp takes no side in this argument. We are simply here to give both women a chance to work things out.
Deanna Allen Pictures:
By Fred Trost
Although internet rumors are running rampant that this picture is actually the Camp Bucca Flasher, we are able to prove that this Army vixen is none other than Brandy Preston from Brandy Preston.com. Although she does look like Deanna, this is not the same babe!
Letter to the Editor:
Editor: Jess, thanks for the picture. It is true, people will sign anything.
Licensed to Streak:
My movement is to "Bring Back Streaking!" E-mail me with your thoughts on streaking. I'll post them on the site, but for now I gotta go show my potato to the West Harlem Symphany Opera! Toodles!
Picture of the Month:
I never knew her very well, only as casual acquaintances. She was always pleasant, and I was in turn.
I wrote the gods honest truth in my book, and it was hard for her to swallow. She must not have seen it through my eyes.
I Never threw a glass or anything even close to that? I mean why was she nice to me years after this club incident if I did something like that?
It just doesn?t make sense. I feel very sorry for her, it seems like she is just trying to milk a little publicity out of this.
She is now emailing me telling me I owe my career to her. I just think she may be a bit delusional. I am trying to stay out of it, because I am above school yard fights, but she won?t let it die.
I am very sorry she feels so bitter, so many years after something so small? I hope she finds peace."
The eight young women jumped on to the ledge of a fountain outside Malate Church clad only in skimpy underwear and transparent raincoats, causing a massive traffic jam as people gathered under the rain to gawk and cheer them.
We here at NinjaPimp truly feel that this is the best way to protest. Just think of all the wars that wouldn't be fought if women would just take off their clothes whenever there is a disagreement. Kudos ladies. You are our heroes!
Scar of the Month:
By Valerie Bosket
"I had a hip replacement that did not take on January 14, 1999, because I did not have enough bone stock around where you put the ball into the socket. Because of this my doctor put some bone grafts in and we are waiting to maybe have surgery at a future date. However in the meantime, my ball was cut off but I will still be able to walk by having scar tissue and muscle build up for my femur to rest in. It has been 4 weeks since the doctor went in and removed the hip replacement and my ball that goes into the hip. I would like to share this picture of my hip scar at 4 weeks post op."
Confessions of the Month:
Gluttony: I ate 47 chocolate kisses at work today in under 15 minutes in front of fat people. I only weigh 112 lbs. It is funny because they are fat and I am not.
Sloth: I'm too lazy to get out of bed and spit the phlegm out of my mouth when I have a cold. I just keep a cup nearby.
Envy: I envy people who have sex on a regular basis and I envy those who get laid when they want to get laid despite not having a regular steady boyfriend.
Lust: I married the wrong person, and didn't think I could get pregnant, but was happy when I did. I #@%(ed another guy while I was pregnant and I think that's what saved my sanity.
Anger: Sometimes at work when I valet and a customer is a jerk, I'll just pee all over his car.
Greed: I lie to people about having an abusive past just to get attention. I also make myself sick on occasion. I starve myself so people will feel sorry for me and buy me meals.
Pride: I Fu**ing rule. If you weren't such a loser you'd appreciate my greatness.