you told me in the 80s that by the year 2007 that the beaver
would be nearly extinct, I would have told you that you were
crazy. Just think how much you use to love beaver.
Admit it, you got excited just by seeing one. Although
they weren't seen in public much, it seemed that half of
America had one. Now-a-days they are very rare, and
they are never featured in movies or magazines. This
saddens me. I love my beaver, and I can't imagine
losing the furry little girl.
Unfortunately, most of America is doing everything that they
can to eliminate this once proud part of society. This
is why I, NinjaPimp's foremost beaver expert, call for you
to stand up and proclaim your love for the beaver.
There is nothing better than a well groomed, healthy,
vivacious beaver. Weather it is working on a log,
soaking wet, or a little overweight, tell America that you
love your beaver!
Please, it is not too late. However, if we don't
do something now, you may never see a beaver again!
Video of the Month:
Pork Chop Sandwiches Check
out this G.I. Joe public service announcement now that the
teens on YouTube edited it!
This website is not intended to be viewed by
minors. Although we keep the page at a PG-13 level, it is
intended for the viewing pleasure of adults.
The Funktastic Ninja Page!
done it this month! We got an interview with the hottest
independent filmmaker in all of Hollywood, Ivan. We also received
interesting article from AVN's Rookie of
the Year, Brandy Talore! Furthermore, we discuss beaver, and we
interview Cherish Milton!
"Dollar" Bill Cashmoney
Regular John / Moneymaker
Independent Filmmaker, Ivan another exclusive
NinjaPimp interview! Ivan,
can you tell us a little bit about your job?
Many might think that my job is fairy simple. A camera, some lights, naked girls
and there ya' have it. It can be that simple, I try to go the extra step. Making
movies that people not only can spank to but be entertained by. I was once told
that renters often keep and buy the DVD's, which is from where a lot of
distribution comes from ... re-orders. So I try to put something in each movie
to make it worth keeping for the customer. I have re-done the Texas Chainsaw
Massacre final chase but with two naked girls and a 3 foot #&#^! replacing the
chainsaw. I have done up skirt hula hoop teases, funny vignettes, guess the
camel toe games, etc. etc. I love my job and I love giving fans interesting
things to look at. Plus yes the girls are hot, the girls are fun, and sometimes
the perks are way okay.
What movies have you worked on?
I have a line called Ivan's S^@&-O-RAMA presents, it's a horror spoof line which
has been very successful. The first in the series
@$$#0L# Massacre was nominated for 3 AVN Awards including Best Comedy,
Video. It was also nominated for the Best Comedy at the XRCO Awards. And won
Best Parody from Adam Film World Adult Guide Awards. The second was
Dawn of the Head
and currently has three pre-noms including the Best Comedy again. I am currently
working on The Sex Sense. I also do an Asian gonzo line "Youth 'N' Asia", a
vignette series "Sexual Predator" and recently took over Tom Byron's @$$ Eaters
Unanimous. I have edited over 70 movies and did camera on over 40 movies for
Evolution Erotica and Extreme Associates.
What would you consider your best work?
By far my favorites are my two $LU!-O-Ramas, I did horror movies before getting
into porn and it was a natural transition. I love Sexual Predator ..2, it was my
first true vision and baby. I cherish the Killer Klown vignette, it was in my
head for over a year before I shot it. In the order I guess it's Texas' @$$#0LE
Massacre, Sexual Predator 1 & 2, and Dawn of the Head.
What is the most amazing thing you have seen during a video?
(Edited) My most amazing video moment has to be shooting the Texas chase scene
and watching the chase footage from my little Kodak camera with a fisheye.
Everyone always comments on those shots. I am very proud of it and the two girls
involved, Kami Andrews and Gia Paloma...
Does anything in the business bother you?
I love women, a lot. I can not stand seeing how some men mistreat them. On my
shoots I treat everyone with the respect I wish to be treated with. Every female
performer is someone's daughter, sister, mother, wife, and/or girlfriend. They
have a life when the camera stops rolling. I think many people forget that. I
know of guys not hiring girls or even make-up artists unless the girls give them
"favors". I don't hire performers male or female that disrespect others or have
no clue on how to be professionally inept. Like showing up on time or prepared.
The drug use I am not a fan of, but to each his own. Just keep it away from me
and my space.
Who are the best photographers in the business?
I have worked with a few photographers so far. I have stayed exclusive with my
companies and know of who I have been around. Kris King is amazingly talented,
so is Joel Jet who is our regular guy. I have to be bias, my friend Mark Milano
who is no longer with our company is my favorite. He is a great friend and a
very creative guy. He used to take these great set shots of me, I use two of
them still on my business cards. He has now started shooting video as well. I
often tell him he needs to make a coffee table book, I would be the first in
line for it.
Who are the best people to work with?
People that can separate the business part from it. It's still a business, treat
it that way. Be on time, be prepared, and be into it. Of course having
people who enjoy sex is a huge plus. You can talk someone into doing so much.
Who are the worst people to work with?
There are girls, girls in every sense of the word, that think they are
pre-Madonna's. Throwing attitude, showing up whenever they please, being high on
set. I can't imagine how some of these people live their lives without a
babysitter. We had one girl tell us she doesn't wear a watch so she wouldn't
know how late she is. Recently we had an agent bring a girl an hour late and
during stills while getting her into position, we realized he never told her
what type of scene it was. Scene was cancelled, this agent is notorious for
this. I won't be using him again.
Who are the best directors?
From my short expansion into the industry, I have gathered that Best comes with
many aspects. Where they work, what they do, the budgets for hiring better/worse
talent, how they deal with performers, how they treat people around them. Anyone
can turn on the camera and say "fuck!". I believe the best directors are
well-rounded in their field and are always looking to improve. I have seen
people around a long time who know only enough to push the red button and record
sex ... and I know people who deserve the break that they ares still waiting
for. I am not sure who are the best, I guess these days we will go by who sells
Are drugs a regular part of the adult movie business?
I think drugs come with any business. When I worked in TV and Film, I saw as
much as I did in p0rn. It's just in porn some people over do it. I am
straight-edge, shit don't even drink coffee. But d@mn do I love to eat. That's
my drug. I don't see why people act as if drugs are so cool, prancing around
telling stories. Does anyone respect some who keeps saying they love pills? Or
are the a butt of all jokes? Some people use drugs to get through the day, some
use it get what they need, and others are very responsible with them. I just
came of a pretty extensive psychological mind-f#&k and depression. Some people
would say get high, drink, loosen up. I didn't and you know what it was hard but
at the end worth. The pain was bad, the emotions were heart wrenching but at
least I let my mind heal itself as it is supposed to do.
I think in moderation everything is okay. Do what you will as long as you are
not hurting anyone around you especially friends and family.
How safe is it for a girl to work in the business?
The safety for the girls in the business is pretty high. They choose who they
work with, what they do, and how. I know sometimes they are pressured or asked
but eventually it's their decision. I believe it's safer then stripping or
escorting. God knows who you might run into or work with in those fields. I have
more horror stories from stripping and dancing then ever in p0rn.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Honestly I see myself in the business, hopefully with a small successful
company. Running it with a nice woman in my life. My ex-girlfriend and I often
talked about a dream like that. We have a few friends who are living this dream
right now. I can also see myself settling down and running a small bakery in a
small town. I need a simple relaxing conclusion, no partying just my XBox 720, a
big screen TV, DirectTV football package, and lady. Hopefully by then LA will
have a team. Go Los Angeles Stars! (my prediction on the team and name)
How often do you work per week?
I edit daily but probably shoot 2 to 3 scenes a week. Usually a scene a day.
Besides shooting during the day, I make my own schedule. Often editing late
night to early morning, it's more peaceful that way. I spend a lot of time
working on my website and doing extensive journals about my daily existence.
cheap plus coming ... IamIVAN.com :)
Do you have anything to say to NinjaPimp's fans?
Stay tuned for more cool SL#&-O-Rama movies, give them a chance you might find
them entertaining. And just maybe I will have a ninja pimp in my next movie ;)
We'd love to see a NinjaPimp in your next movie. Especially if it was
an evil one! Thanks for a very insightful interview. I wish you the
best. Please keep in touch!
I am a big fan of Miss Internet World 2002,
Shannon. Can you tell me what happened to her?
Let's let Starr answer
Well, (my husband and I) live in
Arnold, Missouri, in a house that we bought in 2005. After years of
renting, it's really nice to feel like a place is really HOME. I
enjoy spending time laying out in our pool, and playing with my
4-legged kids: Tootie the basset hound, Kiddo the cat, and Corndog
Some of you may know me as the internet model Starr Shannon from
starrmodel.com, or one of the other 2,000 or so websites I used to
be on. I was a glamour/bikini model from about 1997 until 2003 and
had a strong internet presence, and was even Miss Internet World
2002. My old modeling website is still up, but hasn't been updated
in years. Modeling was a lot of fun for a while. I met some cool
people, went on some great trips, and got published in many
calendars, in a magazine, as a video game vixen, on a billboard, and
countless trade shows and appearances, and was on the Jenny Jones
So, now I'm a loan processor...not quite as exciting! But I'm very
excited about my life with Brian and hopefully not waiting TOO long
to start having (2 legged) kids. I am having a great time touching
base with so many old friends on myspace, I had no idea how many
people were on here! If you remember me from somewhere please send
me a message- I'm sure I'd love to hear from you. :)
the Insanity! by Brandy Talore
Why? God please somebody
tell me why do people send me the dumbest s#it? When sending a message
to anyone, even your grandma, have something to say. Seriously I get
messages like this:
Hey gurl! Wanna F@c%?
hot! I wanna bang you!
Seriously, stop ... If I read another message like that, I'm going to throw up
in my mouth! I'm not kidding people! If you are having trouble
finding something to say for, God sakes plagiarize,,,, copy and paste... I don't
give a fuc%... just please don't send me any stupid messages! And no, I
don't want to fuc% you! Yes, I know I'm hot, smoken, cute, whatever... Please,
Please, someone make its stop!
All I have to say is: WHAT THE FUC%!!!
Vicky "Cherish" Helman Interview Vicky & Vaness. AKA the
Hi baby, how are
you doing today? Hi I am doing well today...
Will you tell us
about your favorite scene? My favorite Scene I ever did i would have
to say was Teeny Bopper Club that was real easy. The people were nice and
I looked awesome.
So have you done
any DPs? I have done a DP and it was fuc#ing painful, but I pulled
through, but only did it once for Red Light District Producer Jake Malone.
Are the guys in the
industry different that the guys you know in real life? The Guys that
I have done porn with are a lot larger then men in my personal life. I
prefer to have them average size so they fit in perfect.
So now that you are
going to be a mom, is anything going to change for you? Yes I am going
to give up Adult Films for the sake of my son, who is due in August, I think it
would be best for my new family. There wont be anymore hardcore scenes, but I am
still Planning on doing Adult Stills, so I can still make my living and give my
fans something more.
That's great news.
Can you tell us a quick story about yoru career? When I did my First
scene I was very nervous, and actually wanted to puke, but I pulled through, I
cant recall what scene it was or who for though.
Can you tell us
something secret about your sister Vanessa, Cali Marie? Hmm a secret
about my sis. I would Love to tell but do not know any at this time.
How about one about myself. Actually I'm very outspoken, so I don't have any
secrets. I Love my fans to know everything about me, except my address,
How much content
did you do for the Milton Twins site? For the Miltons twins, God I
think we did almost 400 Scenes for them, and we are actually suing them right
now for a pretty penny. It was the worst company we ever worked with, everyone
in the company are backstabbers and you can't trust anyone..
How did they make
you look like teens? They made us wear fake braces and extensions, and
they also covered our tattoos.. the braces ruined my teeth horribly, and the
extensions caused me to lose chunks of hair, it was awful and degrading.
Have you ever
considered working at the Bunny Ranch? I've never considered working
at the Bunny Ranch but I guess I could, but I'm going to see what happens after
my son is born. There are many people that have screwed me over, like ex's who
cheat, family members who stole my identity, and companies who took advantage of
me, but like a lot say..."Heaven is Heaven and Life is Hell." S#it
Tell us about your
pregnancy. My pregnancy is coming along pretty well, I had a scare and
was hospitalized for going into labor at 7 months pregnant, due to a placental
abruption, but hey what can you do, I will be 8 months pregnant on July 1st so
my pregnancy seems to be heading to full term. My son will be born in
August. Hopefully not sooner, and I can't wait. I don't have a place or
anything yet, but I love him very much and would starve for him so he would be
able to eat, my son comes first, and I'm still accepting donations at this time.
So far Ive gotten a total of $39.00 thanks for the Donations Everyone. Thanks.
The Miltons and Simpson Twins (left); Cali Marie Milton (right)
NinjaPimp on MySpace by Ronald McPimp
Don't forget to check us out at our new home on MySpace. We
have tons of interviews, pics, and funny articles posted on there
for your viewing pleasure!
received our first hate mail this month! Check it out:
Dude. I hope you didn't look this stuff up because you are the
stupidest informer ever. Where the fuc# did you get this sh!t?!
Female ninja were superior to shinobi and there is no such thing as
a "ninjapimp" you fuc#in' dumb a$$! There is no proof that Bruce Lee
was a ninja. The reason that he was so bad a$$ is because of his spontanious training, which eventually led to his death. Of corse
ninjas were mammals... THEY'RE HUMAN, YOU FUC#IN' DUMB A$$! Ninjas
don't fight they train so that won't have to fight, stupid fuc#
face. Do you have any idea what ninja's assignment was? (wait you a
dumb fuc#, of course you don't know) Ninjas were the first mail men
and women. Oh, and red stick out like fuc# inthe dark. The race of
ninja don't use chainsaws, recardless of age or rank. Chainsaws are
too loud to be used on a common ninja mission. Modern ninjas are now
the marines and the navy, stupid. One last thing about ninjas... YOU
DON'T EVEN KNOW THEIR DIET YOU STUPID, COC# SUCKING, FA#OT-FACED, FUC#IN' SON OF A B!TCH!!!! If you ever want to know the honest to
goodness truth in a nina's life e-mail me and you'll know what a
ninja really is.
Our Response: The page that you are
referring to was written by a 12 year old. It was meant to be
comical, and it was never intended to be considered factual.
Despite your eight spelling errors, countless grammatical errors,
curse words, you were able to prove one simple fact. That
simple fact is that you are a blithering idiot.