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 Ladies and Gentlemen,
    Once again we have more new content than we have room on this page!  We were able to post interviews with Bison Smith, Pete Mitchell, and Killer Kowalski Jr.  We also review Cindy Pucci's first adult set of photos, and we have an article about steroid use by superheroes!  We didn't have room to post our interview with wrestler Mike Youngblood or diva Cindy Pucci.  Please check back our blog to check out those interviews! 
   
 
                                                Dr. Donavan James IV
                                                Waiter, Golden Corral  

Exclusive Interview:  Pete Mitchell
by KrazyMan

No More Kings - Sweep The Leg video

Gentlemen, welcome to NinjaPimp Online Magazine. How are you doing today? Doing great! Today is a beautiful day in sunny Los Angeles. The birds are singing. The dogs are barking. Love is all around.

Can you introduce the band members for us? Sure. There are six of us: six young strapping lads. On guitar, we have Christian Wojcik and Josh Taylor. Playing the super-bass we have Beau Burtnick. Kicking the tasty grooves on the drums, we have David "D.G." Grant. Tickling the keys is my man Timmy Maglothin. And I'm Pete Mitchell. I sing.

So how did your come up with your band name? Can you tell us about it? The band name is from an episode of School House Rock. I grew up watching those little animations. I pretty much got all my history lessons from those things. Anyway, "No More Kings" was a song about the pilgrims coming over from England. I loved the sense of the American independent spirit that the song evoked.

We love your "Sweep the Leg" video. Whose idea was that?  Thanks! Yeah, that video was a lot of fun to make. We are going to be rolling out a bunch of behind-the-scenes footage of it on www.sweeptheleg.com very soon. The idea really came from Billy Zabka, the guy that played Johnny Lawrence in The Karate Kid. He really just went nuts with it, and got everybody from the movie back together. It was so fun to be part of that, and watch it unfold.

What was the best part of filming that?  Great question. There was a lot about that video that I loved. Probably the best moments for me were all the wire stunts – jumping up onto the bus, the Matrix crane kick stuff, and falling through the ceiling of the tournament. I mean, I had never done anything like that before. It was really exhilarating.

What do the fans thing of the video? The fans love it. Even people that don't like the song or the band love the video. I think it tapped into 23 years of fan subculture.

Who or what inspired the song "Leaving Lilliput"? I really enjoy the Gulliver's Travels theme.  Ted Danson.

"Zombie Me" is also a great. Who wrote that? I did [Pete]. I write all the lyrics and melodies for the songs. And my buddy Neil Robins [of the band Dirt Poor Robins], writes all the instrumentation. We're like Batman and Robin. Or Batman and Robins…Dirt Poor Batman.

Are all of those songs on one CD? If so, what is it and where can we buy it? They are! Thanks for asking. It's all on one action-packed CD, available on iTunes, amazon.com, and most retail stores.

Our website is www.afro-squad.com. What do you think of the site? I love "Episode Zero"! Neil and I used to make tons of ninja movies in my backyard. We broke my parents' camcorder at least three times. So the Afro-Squad stuff brings back happy memories for me. I also love that the speedometer says "holy crap". Great stuff! Mad nunchuck skills, too.

 What do you think of our band the Protagons and our video "Episode Zero"? Featured Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFrGLbBMow4 You know, you are always welcome to use our characters SnowMan and KrazyMan in your future videos. I couldn't get any of the music to work, but as I said, I loved the video. Great stuff.

What NMK projects would you like to talk about? Right now, we are gearing up to shoot the next video for our song "Michael (Jump In)". So I'm really excited. It's going to be a lot of fun. Lots of crazy stunts.

What does the future hold for NMK? We've got high hopes for the future. Flying cars. Talking robotic servants. Fluffier dogs. But specifically for No More Kings, we are currently working on our own ice-cream flavor. Due out next year. We're getting ready to head back out on tour. The road. The long and winding road. And then hopefully start recording our second album. Can Afroman sing?

What would you like to say to your fans? I know everyone does this, but I really want to thank our fans for continuing to support us. Because of our MySpace plays, we are able to book better shows, and more of them. So in our case, the fans really do make all the difference. We love getting messages from our fans, and we always love meeting people at shows. We've got some exciting plans for our street team as well. So we encourage anyone who's interested in joining to please go to www.nomorekings.com. You can shoot zombies there, too.

Is there anything else you would like to talk about? I think that's all. Thank you so much for interviewing us. I look forward to the next Afro Squad episode! Maybe someday we can match our kung fu skills and join forces!

Killer Kowalski Jr.
With SnowMan

Killer, how are you doing today?  I'm doing great, thanks for asking.

Can you tell our fans about the relationship you have with your father?  Is Killer Kowalski Sr. a blood relative?  We have great relationship. I'm just like him in the ring, so don't piss me off.  I just might tear your ear off.

Captain America: "No Sh!t" on Hulk's Steroid Use
by the NinjaPimp

July 26 (Bloomberg) -- Captain America of the Avengers told Marvel's Stan Lee that by refusing to deny accusations of steroid use, The Incredible Hulk essentially admits he's used banned muscle-building substances.

"Hulk's never denied using drugs!  When somebody asks, all Hulk does is yell 'Hulk Smash' and then throw a few cars." America said.

"Sure I've used them," admits the Juggernaut.  "You really have to if you want keep up with today's fast paced superhero society.  Don't think that He-Man and GI Joe didn't do them either.  We were all doing them in the 80s.  I'd wake up, do a few lines, take some pills, destroy some buildings, and then try to take over the world.  That's what I did because... I'm the Juggernaut... BITCH!"    

Hulk, who was unavailable for comment, has said he might have unknowingly used steroids.  He says that the accidental ingestion of steroids may account for his trademark rage, ripped pants, and back acne.   Now that he's about to break the San Francisco earthquake's record of 755 buildings smashed, Hulk's legitimacy is really being questioned.

"You really have to now-a-days...  It is what the people demand,'' America, a 70-year veteran, told a comic book convention full of pimply nerds.  "Look at Batman, he used to be tubby in the 70s.  Now he is forced to wear a suit with fake muscles just so he can draw attention.  The poor bat-bastard."

"We are dropping like flies and nobody wants to help us.  These performance enhancing drugs are killing us!  Doesn't anybody care?  The guys who are left have all but destroyed our bodies," said Iron Man, who is not limited to his apartment because of an iron lung.   

"I have a list of 60 superheroes who have died before the age of 50.  Superman, the Flash, Phoenix, Hawkeye, Supergirl, Bucky, Robin, Captain Marvel, and the Death Adder have all died," said superhero union representative Thor.  "The worst thing is that only eight of them have been revived, and Phoenix died twice now!" 

Zombie Pimp Reviews:

Rock and Roll Fantasy, starring Cindy Pucci

    This week I received an e-mail from Cindy Pucci asking me to review her newest photo set.  Cindy is the hottest internet model I've ever met, and she just did her first hardcore boy/girl photo set. 

    Now I am not certain, but based on the fellow's white skin and glazed look in his eyes, I think that the guy involved in the photo set is a zombie.  That's cool because I too am a zombie.  Yes, Zombie Pimp isn't just a clever name.

    The first five pictures are awesome. Potential zombie Christopher Lee forces Cindy to her knees and grabs her by the head!  That's exactly what I would do to her.  After all, I am a zombie.  Next up you just grab a can opener and feast on some serious braaaaaaaaaiiiiiiins!

    The next ten pictures involve Christopher ripping off Cindy's clothes.  These pictures are totally making me drool!  I remember when I ate celebrity clothes whore Posh Spice.  It totally sucked.   Six layers of cotton and no brains... what a waste!  Anyway, at least Christopher is going to have a great meal! 

    Now that Cindy is naked, you get to see the size of her beautiful... brains!  Those things are magnificent.  All perky and pink!  Just the way I like them. 

    Well, after a good dozen or so pictures of Christopher slapping Cin around, he apparently needs to tenderize her, he totally starts to eat her!  You know what I mean.

    Then Cindy does all she can to take out her attack her.  Everyone knows that the one way to stop a zombie is to attack his head.  Unfortunately for Cindy, she attacked the wrong head.  Too bad because she pretty much gets all the way to the brain.

    In the end, it is Cindy that takes the shot to the head.  Fantastic!  This is the type of photoset that will make the dead rise!  Check it out at ClubCin.com.  

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Bison Smith Interview
by KrazyMan

Question: Is there anything you would like to say to our fans? 
BISON:  First off, I would like to thank the fans of wrestling. Thank you for your loyal support through these difficult times in the professional wrestling business. This interview is going to focus mainly on the Japanese, Puerto Rican and a little on the United States wrestling Business. If you are a WWE or TNA fan you may not know who I am but just read the interview to get a different aspect of the wrestling business. I guarantee it will be a good read.

Question: How did you become a fan of wrestling?
BISON: I started my athletic career in Fresno, California. In 4th grade I started to play football and amateur wrestle. Doing those sports I supplemented the two with weight training. I started lifting weights regularly when I was 13
years old.
     I worked out at Gold's Gym. I loved lifting weights more than I did playing football or amateur wrestling. Some kids played video games some rode dirt bikes but I loved to hang out at Gold's Gym.
     I noticed a group of guys would come into the gym once a month. These guys were monsters to me. They would lift heavy weights, they looked like movie stars and they were huge. I was really in awe of them and I told myself, "I wanted to be like them one day."
     I asked around the gym wanting to know who those people were. Some didn't know but one guy told me they were pro wrestlers. So I went to a local grocery store headed to the media section and looked through some wrestling magazines.  I saw the same guy's at Gold's Gym that were in those magazines. They were WWF wrestlers.
     My family had just got cable television and on the USA network there was a show called Tuesday Night Titan's. I watched it every week along with the other WWF programming. I also watched World Class and AWA on ESPN.
     This is right before the WrestleMania's and the Rock and Wrestling connection started on MTV. When I saw Roddy Piper break that platinum record glass frame over Lou Albano's head, let me tell you, I was hooked on wrestling.
     Every time the WWF came to town I went to the shows. Before the shows I would wait around Gold's Gym all day just to see the wrestlers work out. I remember one time Ken Patera and I talked in the locker room. He went to BYU with my high school football coach. He was really nice to me and we had a good conversation about power lifting. That was Patera's specialty and at the time I was into it also.
     After High school I accepted a scholarship to play football at the University of Colorado. I kind of lost interest in watching pro wrestling until one day this monster came into the University of Colorado's weight room. Again, I was in awe of this guy and I wanted to know who he was.
     They told me his name was Leon White and he played for Colorado back in the 1970's. Then they told me he was a pro wrestler working in Japan under the name Big Van Vader. This was right before he got signed by WCW. Vader would rarely come to the gym and work out but when he did I tried talking to him and he was always pissed off  and unapproachable.
     I started to watch WCW because of Vader. He was a real heel monster and I loved watching him destroy people. When he would show up at the gym I would again try to talk wrestling with him and again he would treat me like an asshole.
     After I graduated college I was done with football. People ask me why I didn't try to pursue the NFL. The truth is I was a stupid young kid that felt burned out on football and at the ripe old age of 22, I retired. I will always consider that a huge mistake I made in my life. I will always regret not giving it a shot.

Question: How did you become a Pro Wrestler
BISON:  When I was at the University of Colorado the football players were treated like Gods. It was first class. Best hotels, being fed the best food,  playing in front of 70,000  people at Folsom Field in Colorado or in Nebraska and Oklahoma. We went to a bowl game every year. Staying 2 weeks in Florida for the Block Buster Bowl against Alabama. Staying in Phoenix, Arizona to play Syracuse in the Fiesta Bowl. We stayed in Hawaii two weeks for the Aloha Bowl my senior year.
     Then after my eligibility  was done they told me, "You can't do this anymore," you feel like you have been dumped in the middle of nowhere. I was a civilian for the first time in my life.
     What next? Get a 9 to 5 job? I was a 290 lbs. 6'3 gorilla. How was I going to convert from an athlete to a regular person? I couldn't, I stuck out, and I wasn't normal looking. Me in a suit and tie?...... please.
     I approached my old strength and conditioning coach Doc Kries about him talking to Vader about possibly getting me into the wrestling business. His response was not good. It seemed that there were two football players before me that Vader helped get into the business. These two idiots made Vader look bad. I guess they were sent to the Power Plant, WCW's training school, were given special treatment because of Vader and they totally blew it by being jackass's.  So Doc Kries told me Vader is not interested in getting ex-football players into the business.
     I was crushed. I kept staying on Vader about it. I begged him to give me a shot. Vader just didn't like me for some reason. So I decided and said to myself, "Screw him, I am going to do this the hard way."
     Back then the Internet was in its infancy. The business was so tightly sealed no one would know where to go to be a wrestler. Back then you had to know someone. Well, the someone I knew didn't give me the time of day so I was in the dark on how to get into the wrestling business.
     It was probably 3 years after my football career and I was working at a furniture store in Denver moving sofas for a living. What a depressing time in my life. I was a fat, beer drinking warehouse worker with zero direction. This was the time the WCW WWF wars were heating up. I can honestly say that is when the business was at its best.
     Every Monday night was wrestling night. I was so hooked on wrestling then.  I was so determined to become a wrestler but I didn't know how to get into the business, it was so frustrating.
     I remember one time WCW was in town for a Nitro tapping. I couldn't go because I had to move sofas but on my lunch break I drove to the Denver Coliseum to try to talk to anyone who knew how I could get into the business.
     I approached this roadie or some crew guy that was smoking a cigarette next to one of the WCW semi trucks. He told me to call the head quarters at 1 CNN center. So I called, talked to some lady, she asks, "Do you have any experience as a pro wrestler?" Stupidly, I said, "NO." She replied, "I am sorry sir we can't help you."
     One of my co-workers at the furniture store got a new computer and had the Internet hooked up. I thought the Internet was the coolest thing then but today it is killing wrestling, but that's a whole other story.  So, I got the bright idea to put," pro wrestling schools," into the search engine. The first one that popped up was All Pro Wrestling in Hayward, California. I told myself ,"Pack your bags your going to wrestling school."
 
Question: Tell us about your training.
BISON:  To be honest, God was on my side when he directed me to APW. At APW I was trained the right way. At APW I was trained in an, "old fashioned style." The old fashion style is paying your dues. Learning how to wrestle slowly and laying a strong fundamental foundation before you have your first match.
     I didn't start my training learning a power bomb or a choke slam the first day. I did cardio drills the first two weeks. At first, it pissed me off that I wasn't in the ring learning wrestling. But when I did finally make it to the ring, I didn't like it.
     In wrestling you have to learn how to fall right to protect yourself, this is called, "bumping." For 5 months all we did was bump. It hurt, it was really painful. My whole body ached. It was way tougher than playing football. I really didn't think I was going to make it. The class I started my training with consisted of 48 boys. After 9 months it was down to 3 men including myself. Pro wrestling is very brutal to a person's body and how I made it was without a doubt the toughest thing I have ever done.

Question: Tell us about the first couple years of your wrestling career.
BISON:  My first match was in 1998 against a guy named James Watkins. It was a good match but you could tell I was not comfortable being in front of people and I just wrestled awkward. I was very bland. The fans didn't like me. I couldn't talk on a microphone. Truthfully, I sucked my first 2 years of wrestling. I am sure there are people today who still think I suck but back then I really sucked. I had no concept of how to be a wrestler.
     After about two years the promoter at APW decided to put me in a hood, a mask, and make me this, "Old School Heel," type wrestler called Super Destroyer 2000. Once I put that mask on it changed me. I was more relaxed in the ring. I started having good matches. I was moving forward. The gimmick was getting over with the fans and it felt good that I was being accepted as a credible wrestler.

Question: What was your biggest highlight the first couple of years in wrestling?
BISON:     I had an opportunity to work for a Hollywood promotion called the Urban Wrestling Alliance. I say Hollywood because it was filmed in Hollywood and was backed by Hollywood money.
     The whole concept would be based around an," Urban," theme. African Americans, Puerto Ricans, Native Americans, Mexicans and Samoans were the good guys. Well, the bad guys would have to be White. So I was hired to come in and play a Texas redneck.
     They had 8 pilot episodes to film. I was in Los Angeles for 3 weeks. I was making $200 a day and at that time it was gold to me. Some of the wrestlers that were a part of it were Orlando Jordan and Sonny Siaki.
     It was such a great experience. I got to feel Hollywood and it was cool. Catering trucks at our shoots. I went to acting classes. I got to wrestle in the Grand Olympic Auditorium.
     The pilots were sent to test markets on the UPN network like Dallas, Miami, New York, Chicago and a few other cities. They were running late at night going against some other ethnic shows. The pilots got good ratings but none of the networks picked up the show.
     Looking back I can see why it failed. First of all it was too Hollywood oriented. They were hiring actors to be wrestlers. They were training actors in
3 weeks how to be wrestlers. That's impossible.
     The people doing the booking were Hollywood scriptwriters. That will never work even though it still is happening today in other promotions. I remember one time an acting agent was directing story lines. People calling the shots had no clue how to run a wrestling promotion. I was still very green at that time of my career but I was getting paid to be a wrestler and I was back to that life style I had when I played football at Colorado, so I was happy.
     When it failed, again, I was crushed. WCW had just been bought out by WWF and jobs in the industry got scarce. It was 2000, I wasn't getting any younger and I was seriously thinking about quitting, in fact, I was going to quit. I told everyone I was finished and I had an opportunity at a great promotion at my 9 to 5 job to be an executive at a major retail store.
     People understood where I was coming from and they wished me well but the man who trained me thought I was a fool to quit.
     I will never forget Mike Modest and I were standing in the parking lot at APW. He was desperately trying to talk me into staying in the business. I told him I had had enough. Modest told me to stay around for just one month because
he and some others were trying to get a Japanese wrestling promotion to come to APW and scout some talent. So I stuck around.
     That next month 3 Japanese men representing a Japanese wrestling promotion and a television crew and reporters from Japan came to APW to watch some matches. I had a match with Tony Jones. It was a good match and Tony made me look good but I also made him look good.
     After the matches I thought they would say, "Thanks for your time we will keep in touch." No, what they did was, they pulled 3 of us one at a time into the office of APW. I was the last to get called in. I sat down and remember looking at the 3 Japanese men and thinking, " what do they want from me?"
      One of the Japanese men spoke dead on perfect English. The other two were silent and had these deadpan scary intimidating faces just staring at me with those cold looking eyes. We had a conversation and the Japanese man that spoke perfect English said, "Congratulations, you're going to Japan to work for Pro Wrestling Noah ." I thought to myself, "for who?"