Afro-Squad Archive...
 1)  Heather Harmon Issue
 2)  Oasis Interview
 3)  Taylor Twins
 4)  Kirstens-Room
 5)  Afro-Squad Game
 6)  Dirty Candy
 7)  International
 8)  Roseblum Twins
 9)  Amy Nguyen Issue
 10)  Abdullah's Issue
 11)  Religious Issue
 12)  Teri Weigel Issue
 13)  Kami Andrews Issue
 14)  Wrestling Issue
 15)  Starr Twins
 16)  Jasmin St. Clair
 17)  Corina Curves
 18)  Hull Twins Issue
 19)  Julya Ried Issue
 20)  Cute Latina Issue
 21)  Mary Carey Issue
 22)  Maxi Mounds
 23)  Myla Leiga Chenoa
 24)  BellaDonna
 25)  Carmella Bing
 26)  Ivan's Issue
 27)  Amber Peach
 28)  Cindy Pucci
 29)  Simpson Twins    
 30)  Ginger Lynn
 31)  KrazyMan    
 32)  Jenni Carmichael
 33)  Jessica Jaymes    
 34)  March 2007 Issue
 35)  Lisa Sparxxx    
 36)  Lizzy Valentine
 37)  Darcy Donavan    
 38)  Bomb Twinz Issue
 39)  No More Kings    
 40)  D-Ray Issue
 41)  October Issue    
 42)  Stevens Twins
 43)  Jordin Syke
 44)  Missy Stone
 45)  Pimp of the Year
 46)  Randy West Issue

Sponsors Include:

 
"GTA IV - AFROSQUAD"

"Balls Deep Wieners"

"Snow Bullets"

"Deez Nutz Crunch"

"Save the Cougar"

Pimp Quote of the Month:  

"Cause chaos, rock like Amadeus...find West Coast pu$$y for my Detroit Playa's"
Kid Rock - Cowboy

Ladies and Gentlemen,                      Welcome to Afro-Squad Online.  For those of you who are new to Afro-Squad, we hope you become a regular visitor.  Afro-Squad is devoted to the stuff that guys love.  We love professional wrestling, hot women, gangsters, pimps, ninja, and cars.  Please take a minute to peruse the entire site.  Check out our current issue, and read through our archive.                                              Super Giant Ninja                                         Grogmaster Of Stalwart.                               Afro-Squad, The Game                            Article by Jim Bucko;  Game by the Red Mantis     For a longtime Afro-Squad and AfroSquad have produced all sorts of BS merchandise.  Afro-Squad Legos, Bitch Smax Cereal, Pimp Rounds Snack Cake, and the video game Sim Pimp are all some of our fictional merchandise.  However, we actually have a real product that we can't wait to tell you about.        Above is an actual screenshot of Afro-Squad the video game.  The Red Mantis e-mailed me the demo version this weekend, and I have to tell you that it totally rocks!  Although the Red Mantis is still keeping details quiet, it is assumed that the final version will include characters like the Afro-Squad, the Red Ninja, and maybe even $nowman and Crazyman.       Things to expect from this game include tons of blood, extreme ninja fighting, high tech 2D "Double Dragon" style graphics, and tons of totally ripped off stolen characters from other games.  Check back soon for the full download! An Interview with She-Pimp Miss DeVille  Afro-Squad's Exclusive Wrestling Interview!   Alright Miss DeVille, how are you doing today?  Pretty better. Getting over a nasty cold!   I am sorry to hear that you were sick.  When you are not sick, where can people see you perform?  Anywhere over the North-east! I wrestle pretty much in all New England, and New York.   I have heard that you sometimes break dance in the ring.  What fly dance moves to you perform for the crowd?   I am a fan of the pop & lock and just doing the robot. The worm is also a favorite.   What are some of your favorite in-ring moves? I have two moves that I do regularly.  One is a Swanton from the top rope which is my finisher. Then I have a submission which is a form of an STF, but I do a bridge over the person, locking their legs and put them in a chinlock.   Haven't you used a gimmick where you are a lady pimp?  Can you tell us about that?  While doing my rap/ghetto gimmick I'd do some shows that would want me to soften up my gimmick a bit. Some feds it was too gimmicky for, so I'd do the lady pimp gimmick which is basically boas, shades, i can still break dance and come out to rap and I was all set.   Have you ever considered wearing an afro wig to the ring?  Don't you think it would fall off?   I've never had any problems with mine.  Anyway, what do you do outside of wrestling?  I work two jobs! Waitress on nights, and work at Old Navy during the days. I love to work out and hang out with friends other than that.   A lot of divas now-a-days are models and not wrestlers.  What do you think that is doing to the industry?  I personally think it is kind of hurting the industry for the women specifically that want to actually get out there and wrestle. I don't even see that many girls on TV that can actually take a hip-toss or an arm drag, which is sad because there are so many talented girls on the INDY scene that deserve a chance.   It also seems that very few women can make it to the WWE without breast implants.  Do you think that is healthy for the industry?  I don't feel every girl should feel obligated to get breast implants when getting a WWE contract. If they want to get breast implants, that is a different story. I know they love there women beautiful and busty though, it does make ratings.   What are your thoughts on steroid abuse in the industry?  Do you think a tough drug policy in the major companies would save lives? This basically ties into the breast implant question. Many guys have to be big and muscular, and a lot of them depend on steroids to get them there. It's unfortunate though, because it does ruin health in the long run.   Don't you have a website?  Will you tell us about it? Yeah, my website www.missdeville.cjb.net has been up for a few years. Good friend and tag team partner of mine Kayla Sparks runs it. She is amazing with website/graphics.   Do you have anything to ask us? How did you think of the name of your site Ninja pimp? It's frickin' awesome!   Well, my editor Mervin came up with it. He pointed out that Ninja and Pimps are totally sweet.  I agreed and Afro-Squad was born.  Good question.  Thanks for your time.         The Rise and Fall of South Branch Ranch Police mug shots of Purple Gang members Sammy Millman, from left, Phillip Keywell and Harry Keywell.     A mix of prohibition and an economic boom from the automotive industry in Detroit in the 1920s caused the uprising of the notorious Purple Gang.      In Detroit the 1920s were a time of excess.  Although prohibition was in affect, Detroit's gangsters imported alcohol from near-by Windsor.  Proceeds from this industry went to various developments, but none were more impressive than the building of the South Branch Ranch.      Not far from the south branch of Au Sauble river in northern Michigan, the gang built one of the largest ranches in Michigan history.  The various barns surrounding the primary residence resembled modern day airplane hangars.  They included an indoor horse riding area, dance parlor, interlinking tunnels, and hidden rooms.      The property spanned acres and included a private runway, hunting area, servant quarters, junkyard, and Olympic sized pool.      The house itself was involved in gang related activities for years.  It was even searched upon the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa, and it was rumored to be the site of dozens of mafia style executions.           After being seized for tax evasion, the ranch laid dormant for years.  Lying near Pere Cheney cemetery, the corroding mansion was also linked to numerous ghost sightings.      Unfortunately, this major piece of Michigan history was recently torn down to make room for a new golf course.  We can only hope that the course is haunted by the ghost of Jimmy Hoffa.

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Wrestling's Sickness
Jim Bucko, NinjaPimp Reporter at Large
   In an industry that only has a couple hundred professionals, it is upsetting to see that dozens of its young performers die every year from a single sickness.    

     "You can see it in the eyes...It was a void stare of no emotion whatsoever, no highs, no lows, no feeling...just a question, with no answer... " says professional wrestler Roddy Piper.    

     Its victims include the entire Von Erich family, ?British Bulldog? Davey Boy Smith, Rick Rude, Curt Hennig, Dick Dudley, Road Warrior Hawk, Pit Bull #2, the Wall, Rocco Rock, and dozens more.  What is this sickness?  There is no specific name for it, but it most certainly exists.  Professional wrestlers abuse their bodies to make it to the top of the industry, that abuse is part of the sickness.    

     ?To wake up, I use uppers.  Then I do some steroids to stay in shape.  To kill the pain from the last match, I resort to alcohol, painkillers, and pot.  A little cocaine before the show takes the edge off, and sleeping pills put me back to sleep at night.?  Says one unnamed wrestler.

     In the industry today, none of the major companies enforce anti-drug policies.  The WWE and NWA-TNA overlook drug use as long as it doesn?t keep the wrestlers from performing.  Some wrestlers even insist that the WWE encourages drug use.  ?Although they don?t say how, they expect you to have a bodybuilder?s physique when you are on the road 300 days a year.  It?s not possible without chemical assistance.?  Says another anonymous source. 

     Although nothing will ever cure it, the first step towards recovery is understanding that there is a sickness.  Once major wrestling promotions understand that there is a problem, then they can start to recover. 

Fake Mr. T Facts: 

The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.

Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in the world.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.

If you were born before 1980, there is a good chance that Mr. T is your father. If you were born after, it's guaranteed.

Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.

Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

Music Companies ARE the Man!
by Jack Spurlock
     It has come to the attention that the staff here at NinjaPimp that the music industry has been ripping off consumers for years.  This first came to light when our top writer Leon J. Mackburger put in a Kool and the Gang CD to play.  Right in the middle of the funkiest portion of Jungle Boogie there was a serious skip.  ?This sucks,? exclaimed Leon.  Over the course of 20 years, he bought this album on vinyl, 8 track, tape, record, and CD.  Each one of them became corrupt within 3 years of purchase. 

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