Heather Harmon Issue
Amy Nguyen Issue
Teri Weigel Issue
Kami Andrews Issue
Jasmin St. Clair
Hull Twins Issue
Cute Latina Issue
Mary Carey Issue
Myla Leiga Chenoa
Pimp of the Year
Randy West Issue
"GTA IV - AFROSQUAD"
"Balls Deep Wieners"
"Deez Nutz Crunch"
"Save the Cougar"
of the Month:
rock like Amadeus...find West Coast pu$$y for my Detroit Playa's"
Kid Rock - Cowboy
Welcome to Afro-Squad Online.
For those of you who are new to Afro-Squad, we hope you become a
regular visitor. Afro-Squad is devoted to the stuff that guys
love. We love professional wrestling, hot women, gangsters,
pimps, ninja, and cars. Please take a minute to peruse the
entire site. Check out our current issue, and read through our
Grogmaster Of Stalwart.
Afro-Squad, The Game
Article by Jim Bucko; Game by the Red Mantis
For a longtime Afro-Squad and AfroSquad have produced all sorts of
BS merchandise. Afro-Squad Legos, Bitch Smax Cereal, Pimp
Rounds Snack Cake, and the video game Sim Pimp are all some of our
fictional merchandise. However, we actually have a real
product that we can't wait to tell you about.
Above is an actual screenshot of Afro-Squad the
video game. The Red Mantis e-mailed me the demo version this
weekend, and I have to tell you that it totally rocks!
Although the Red Mantis is still keeping details quiet, it is
assumed that the final version will include characters like the
Afro-Squad, the Red Ninja, and maybe even $nowman and Crazyman.
Things to expect from this game include tons of blood,
extreme ninja fighting, high tech 2D "Double Dragon" style graphics,
and tons of totally ripped off stolen characters from other games.
Check back soon for the full download!
She-Pimp Miss DeVille
Afro-Squad's Exclusive Wrestling Interview!
Alright Miss DeVille, how are you
Pretty better. Getting over a nasty cold!
I am sorry to hear that you were
sick. When you are not sick, where can people see you
perform? Anywhere over the
North-east! I wrestle pretty much in all New England, and New
I have heard that you sometimes
break dance in the ring. What fly dance moves to you
perform for the crowd? I am
a fan of the pop & lock and just doing the robot. The worm is
also a favorite.
What are some of your favorite
in-ring moves? I have two moves
that I do regularly.
One is a Swanton from the top rope which
is my finisher. Then I have a submission which is a form of an
STF, but I do a bridge over the person, locking their legs and
put them in a chinlock.
Haven't you used a gimmick where
you are a lady pimp? Can you tell us about that?
While doing my rap/ghetto gimmick I'd do
some shows that would want me to soften up my gimmick a bit.
Some feds it was too gimmicky for, so I'd do the lady pimp
gimmick which is basically boas, shades, i can still break dance
and come out to rap and I was all set.
Have you ever considered wearing an
afro wig to the ring? Don't
you think it would fall off?
I've never had any problems with
mine. Anyway, what do you do outside of wrestling?
I work two jobs! Waitress on nights, and
work at Old Navy during the days. I love to work out and hang
out with friends other than that.
A lot of divas now-a-days are
models and not wrestlers. What do you think that is doing
to the industry? I personally
think it is kind of hurting the industry for the women
specifically that want to actually get out there and wrestle. I
don't even see that many girls on TV that can actually take a
hip-toss or an arm drag, which is sad because there are so many
talented girls on the INDY scene that deserve a chance.
It also seems that very few women
can make it to the WWE without breast implants. Do you
think that is healthy for the industry?
I don't feel every girl should feel
obligated to get breast implants when getting a WWE contract. If
they want to get breast implants, that is a different story. I
know they love there women beautiful and busty though, it does
What are your thoughts on steroid
abuse in the industry? Do you think a tough drug policy in
the major companies would save lives?
This basically ties into the breast
implant question. Many guys have to be big and muscular, and a
lot of them depend on steroids to get them there. It's
unfortunate though, because it does ruin health in the long run.
Don't you have a website?
Will you tell us about it? Yeah, my
www.missdeville.cjb.net has been up for a few years. Good
friend and tag team partner of mine Kayla Sparks runs it. She is
amazing with website/graphics.
Do you have anything to ask us?
How did you think of the name of
your site Ninja pimp? It's frickin' awesome!
Well, my editor Mervin came up with
it. He pointed out that Ninja and Pimps are totally sweet.
I agreed and Afro-Squad was born. Good question.
Thanks for your time.
and Fall of South Branch Ranch
Police mug shots of Purple Gang members
Sammy Millman, from left, Phillip Keywell and Harry Keywell.
A mix of prohibition and an economic boom from the
automotive industry in Detroit in the 1920s caused the
uprising of the notorious
In Detroit the 1920s were a time of excess. Although
prohibition was in affect, Detroit's gangsters
imported alcohol from near-by Windsor. Proceeds
from this industry went to various developments, but none
were more impressive than the building of the South Branch
Not far from the
south branch of Au Sauble river in northern Michigan,
the gang built one of the largest ranches in Michigan
history. The various barns surrounding the primary
residence resembled modern day airplane hangars. They
included an indoor horse riding area, dance parlor,
interlinking tunnels, and hidden rooms.
The property spanned acres and included a private runway,
hunting area, servant quarters, junkyard, and Olympic sized
The house itself was involved in gang related activities for
years. It was even searched upon the disappearance of
Jimmy Hoffa, and it was rumored to be the site of dozens of
mafia style executions.
After being seized for tax evasion, the ranch laid
dormant for years. Lying near
Pere Cheney cemetery, the corroding mansion was also
linked to numerous ghost sightings.
Unfortunately, this major piece of Michigan history was
recently torn down to make room for a new
We can only hope that the course is haunted by the ghost of
Brought to you by...
Click to Enlarge
NinjaPimp Reporter at Large
In an industry that only has a
couple hundred professionals, it is upsetting to see that dozens of its
young performers die every year from a single sickness.
"You can see it in the eyes...It was a void stare of no emotion
whatsoever, no highs, no lows, no feeling...just a question, with no
answer... " says professional wrestler Roddy Piper.
Its victims include the entire Von Erich family, ?British Bulldog? Davey
Boy Smith, Rick Rude, Curt Hennig, Dick Dudley, Road Warrior Hawk, Pit
Bull #2, the Wall, Rocco Rock, and dozens more. What is this sickness?
There is no specific name for it, but it most certainly exists.
Professional wrestlers abuse their bodies to make it to the top of the
industry, that abuse is part of the sickness.
?To wake up,
I use uppers. Then I do some steroids to stay in shape. To
kill the pain from the last match, I resort to alcohol, painkillers, and
pot. A little cocaine before the show takes the edge off, and
sleeping pills put me back to sleep at night.? Says one unnamed
In the industry today, none of the major companies enforce anti-drug
policies. The WWE and NWA-TNA overlook drug use as long as it
doesn?t keep the wrestlers from performing. Some wrestlers even
insist that the WWE encourages drug use. ?Although they don?t say
how, they expect you to have a bodybuilder?s physique when you are on
the road 300 days a year. It?s not possible without chemical
assistance.? Says another anonymous source.
nothing will ever cure it, the first step towards recovery is
understanding that there is a sickness. Once major wrestling
promotions understand that there is a problem, then they can start to
last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Every time a
church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T always
drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in the
Mr. T invented
fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
23. That's the
number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read
Mr. T. does not
break wind. He destroys it.
If you were born
before 1980, there is a good chance that Mr. T is your father. If you
were born after, it's guaranteed.
Mr. T pities fools
because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
Mr. T's edition of
the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's
history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with
the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Companies ARE the Man!
It has come to
the attention that the staff here at NinjaPimp that the music industry
has been ripping off consumers for years. This first came to light
when our top writer Leon J. Mackburger put in a Kool and the Gang CD to
play. Right in the middle of the funkiest portion of Jungle Boogie
there was a serious skip. ?This sucks,? exclaimed Leon. Over
the course of 20 years, he bought this album on vinyl, 8 track, tape,
record, and CD. Each one of them became corrupt within 3 years of
SaveC ?You would
ancelCloseEdit File think that in an era of space-aged plastics that you?d be able to create
a CD that doesn?t have a catastrophic error due to a simple thumbprint.?
Leon continues. Leon paid for the right to listen to Kool and the
Gang. Because of cheap materials, he had to buy the album five
According to Julias Whiteback, of the NASA plastics engineering team,
?simple cheap plastic exists that would not scratch up as easily as CD
and DVDs. Big business (aka the man) just doesn?t want to use them
because then you wouldn?t have to buy their products over and over.
Each time you have to rebuy the same music, record companies make more
Brought to you by:
James Brown's Nuts