Rolex Oyster Prepetual
by Vic Androzzi Tired of your
$5 K-Mart watch? Interested in impressing the ladies with a fine
self winding prepetual motion watch? For those of you who are
interested in a truly classy watch, we recommend the Rolex Oyster
Perpetual DateJust. First introduced in 1945, this is the first
watch to showcase the date. Now considered a classic, it blends
elegance and functionality. By the way, a cheap knockoff costs 25
Euro on the streets of Rome. E-Bay sells replicas for roughly
$200. We recommend you pick up the real thing.
Ebay's Best Stuff by Dick Stix In an effort to save you pimps, ninja, and
trailer trash time, I searched e-bay to find the best items
available. As you can imaging, I came up with some amazing finds.
Among others, here's what was for sale along with the minimum bid
Welcome fellow NinjaPimps,
This month we concentrate on dating, so we
enlisted 18-year old Amy from
xoxoamy.com for a date with
After this date, you will see that there is no doubt that opposites
We also interview the datable
Rosenblum twins, Stasea and Sheri. These young twins have done it
all. They are a comedy duo who have connections to Ray Romano,
Drew Carrey, and they have even been in Playboy. You don't want to
miss this interview!
If you are going on a date in Alabama, you
need to read about the Tallapoosa casino, America's worst casino.
We also give you an opportunity to win a date with swinger princess
The Rosenblum Twins, Stasea and Sheri These twins make blind men see
Hello ladies. Can you take a minute and introduce yourselves to the
fans? Please tell us a little about yourselves and what you do for a
living. Hi there...we would like to introduce ourselves I'm Sheri and I'm Stasea
and we are...everyman's fantasy! (and some women)
We are a comedy duo!
I just visited your website and watched your
video. Can you tell us about some of the stars that you have met?
Yes, Cher, Ray Romano Drew Carey...but our favorite, Sean Connery, a
very private meeting in the Bahamas...all we have to say is
I saw the two of you with Larry King. In fact, I
saw you both kissing him. Are we going to start hearing tabloid reports
that Larry King has a pair of girlfriends? Well, we do like older men, but I think Larry King gets up too
early for us, he's at Nate & Al's about the time we go to sleep!
Can you tell us a little it about your trip to
Nellis Air Force Base?
Not really, it's top secret. All I can say is that the mayor
Goodman, an old acquaintance, was performing beer bongs...We are sure
that was suppose to be top secret.
What do you consider your greatest performance?
Was it acting as the Double Down Twins?
Well, if you sneezed you missed us, if you went to the ladies
room you for sure missed us...No I just don't think we have had our
greatest performance yet. More to come.
Is there any exclusive information that you can
tell the NinjaPimp fans?
We will be launching our new radio show The Sheri & Stasea Show,
No it's the Stasea & Sheri Show on National Lampoon Radio in January on
XM Satelite, TBA. We have other projects in development that we cannot
talk about...hopefully soon! Oh, we will be on Sprint cell phones with
"The Coors Light Twins" in early November, look for that orgy!
Where do you see yourself in five years? I know
you have already been very successful in business.
Thank you for the acknowledgement. We will be having our own sitcom and
it will not be called, TWINS!
Can you tell us about "Funny Girl?" Weren't you
supposed to be in that movie? When we were little we were suppose to be the babies in "Funny
Girl" with Barbra Streisand, but we were beat out by blondes. Much like
our whole career.
Your page says that you worked with Playboy. What
have you done with them? Yes, we did a video a called "Twins & Sisters" we also performed
a live show for a lingerie company on roller skates in gold lame! It was
a little tough rolling through the grotto! Look for us in the magazine
Do you have anything for sale, or anything that
you want to tell your fans about?
We will, but it for sure won't be a calendar!
Well, is there anything else you would like to
talk about... maybe a questions for us?
Can you tell us your fascination with twins?
Ahhh, twins. We spoke with
Missy and Mandy Taylor
in Issue Three. All of a sudden our hits went through the roof.
Then when we talked with
Vanessa Helman in
issue 13. The fans loved it. So we decided to
interview all the hot twins on the Internet! You were the obvious
choice to be next. Thanks for the
No, thank you! We are honored to be asked and a part of your art! For More Visit:
NinjaPimp's Maria Elgin Exclusive Interview
how long have you been modeling for?
About 5 years.
What do you think people would most likely remember you from? On-line contests.
By the way, how are you doing today?
were any better, I would be twins.
Your bio says you are 5'10". Is it a modeling advantage to be a taller
I always try to do interesting interviews. Ones where the reader can
learn a little about you girls. So, here is an insightful question.
What is your goal in life?
leave a lasting impression....To touch every soul I come in
contact with. To leave sunshine in my tracks....
Ok, now here is a more fun question. What was the last dream you had
that you can remember.
dreamed I was in the mind of a panther and walked in his
path thinking his thoughts smelling his smells, listening to his heart.
So the guys reading will know, what kind of modeling will you do and
what won't you do?
have done all types of jobs from swimwear and lingerie ads
to dressing in character such as Xena Warrior of Wonder Woman. I won't
Then what was your most interesting photo shoot? Shooting for a comic book character. Crazy costumes and lots of fun.
Tell us about your TampaBaybes CD rom that I read about on their web
It is the coolest. These guys in Tampa approached me about it and we
shot it in a secluded park and a cemetery. It has several action shots
and candid moments along with a calendar and screen saver. It was a
hoot to do!!
What models have you worked with and tell us about some of them.
have been fortunate to work with sweet gals like Grace Grimes and Trisha
Wilds. Also Rhiannon and Charissa Thompson. It is always fun to learn
from the pros!!
Here are a few fun questions. :) Ready? Sure!
If you could meet any person, who would it be?
If you were a type of Candy, what would you be and why? A
chewy gooey piece of caramel. It would take longer to eat me.....
See, this is kinda fun. What is your secret talent? Come on, I know
you have one. Well, I am not very talented but on occasion I like to write a little
poetry or a short story.
Aliens, fact or fiction?
Breast Implants. What are your thoughts on them? I
think a woman should do whatever makes her feel sexy and warm inside.
If larger breasts will help then so be it!!
Ok, a few last questions. When you have visited my pages, what do
you think? Awww...
you know I think you are the coolest. I love your site.
What do you think of the people who e-mail you about your page? I
think I am so lucky to have the support of the fans on the net. They
have all treated me so well. Big hugs to each and every one!!
Well, thanks for you time. Have a great night. You
Nguyen Date & Interview:
Alright everybody, we are here with eighteen year old
Amy agreed to go on a cyber date with NinjaPimp's resident redneck
Jack is Amy's polar opposite. We are going to see if opposites
attract. Jack: Good afternoon Amy,
are ya' ready to begin our date?
Amy: Yes, of course!
then let's get started. First I would like to take you to my favorite
sporting event, Monster Truck Racing. How does that sound?
It sounds awesome, I don't
really know about trucks but I'm always up
for learning and experiencing new things.
On our way to the event, I'd like to treat ya' to a Faygo and a slice
of pizza. Does that sound like a good first date meal?
Sure! I love pizza, either cheese or supreme only!
We seem to click as we discuss the deliciousness of
Rock and Rye.
The only problems is that you catch me staring at
Is that going to ruin the evening?
No, I'll jokingly say "you know, my
face is up HERE." It is flattering to know I don't have to worry about
myself in the chest department
Alright, with that said...
things seem to be going better than I expected. On my last date I was
slapped three times by now. As a souvenir of the event, I buy you a
foam Bigfoot finger. Do you wear it proudly and go along with the
redneck date, or is it destined for the
I'll put it on my hand!!!! It'd be a great souvenir to take home for the
Next if you are still
willing to join me, I want to continue the date. Unfortunately, I spent
all my money on the extra large nachos and chrome license plate holder.
Are you still willing to be seen with me? Sure, why not? You're not too bad! I've
From here I convince a few
buddies of mine to let me borrow their 1985 Jeep CJ-5. Wanna go off
roading? Hell yea!!!!!! That sounds like such
Alright, we hit the hills behind my trailer park. Despite the spoiled
WhiteCastle smell coming from the backseat, you have a really good
time. Afterwards I take you back to you place where I offer to split a
6-pack of Natural Light. Are you interested?
Nah! I don't drink. (Laughs)
After I say
goodnight, I lean in to give you a kiss on the cheak. Do I get
A kiss on the cheek? That's
very innocent, so why not? Anything more and I'll say no thanks!
(Laughs) NinjaPimp: Now
it is Amy's time to rate the date. NinjaPimp: How
did Jack Spurlock do? Amy: Not so bad. It was REAL. If I were dating a guy for a long time,
this is probably the type of date we'd go on anyways. Just chill, eat,
have a fun time with no extra special extravaganza stuff.
Does he have a
chance of getting a second date? Perhaps. (Laughs)
his style, will Jack ever have a chance of "scoring" with a girl of
Amy's caliber? I'm not too sure. That depends
if Jack keeps up his behavior, improves it, or worsens it.
What could Jack have done differently to impress you?
Maybe not offer me the 6 pack...I dont
drink? Oh, and definitely not staring at the chest too much!!!
Win a Date
Go on a date with me! No, really!! Don't be fooled by imitation
contests. Mine was one of the originals on the net (In fact, if
you know someone who was doing a "Win a Date" contest before me, I'd
like to hear about it!) Since 1996 I've been going on dates with my fans
and I STILL do it!
Dates range from going out for a few beers, to dinner,
to dancing! I am not an escort. This is not a "date" for hire. This is a
real date in every sense of the word! Just like in a real date you'll
have to be nice, funny, charming or you'll find yourself with a peck on
the cheek as you drop me off...
For info on how you can apply and join me for a date...(e-mail
America's Worst Casino: Tallapoosa Entertainment Center
(TEC) We here at NinjaPimp would
normally recommend taking a date to a casino for a wild night of
adventure and gaming. That is of course as long as you don't live
Not far off the Tallapoosa River in Wetumpka, Alabama
sits the worst casino in America. You see Alabama law prevents any gambling
except racing and bingo.
In an effort to abuse this law, the TEC has added a
mandatory bingo side bet on every slot machine. This technically
turns every slot machine into a legal variation of bingo.
The problem is that the bingo side bet has a
winning percentage. Since the games are technically bingo, there
is also no legitimate regulation on the slot machines. This
allows the casino to offer a payback of a much lower percentage than any
other slot machine in America.
This Alabama law hurts the consumer,
eliminates competition, and allows gaming companies to take advantage of
Since there is no gambling competition in the state of
Alabama, the TEC can turn huge profits without even providing any
drinks, food, or entertainment to the customer.
Considering all of its drawbacks, the
TEC is NinjaPimp's pick as the worst casino in the nation.
Woman Sells Breasts as Billboards by Arch Duke Bishop Johnson
British woman is making money on eBay - by selling ad space on her
Angel Brammer, 27,
from Greenock, Scotland, will wear a company logo on her 42G cleavage
for 15 days.
companies in the US have already bid for the right to use her breasts as
Angel said: "I
have had a lot of unusual offers." NinjaPimp has already gathered 37
cents from the staff to purchase space on her milk cartons.
Because of her
success, thousands of college students around the world have copied the
business model. Scene above is a University of Lincoln, Nebraska
student selling his forehead.