Cambridge, Mass. (SatireWire.com) Update — According to a new study on female alcohol use and blood pressure, young women who consume two or three alcoholic drinks a week are much more fun to do research on than women who do not consume alcohol.

Oh, and the report also found that women who have a few drinks each week are less likely to develop high blood pressure. Whatever.

The report, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine, studied drinking patterns and blood pressure among 70,000 nurses between the ages of 25 and 42.

Dr. Eric Shinauer, who headed the study for Harvard’s School of Public Health, put the findings in perspective. “Alcohol, 70,000 nurses, and us,” he said. “Is that cool or what?”

Shinauer and his colleagues — Dr. Andrew Sporata and Dr. Chandra Palava — conceded their initial grant was to study salt consumption. However, upon reflection, the trio decided that adjusting the parameters would dramatically heighten their interest in the research.

Explained Palava: “What it came down to was, did we want to say, ‘Here young lady, have some salt and let’s see what happens,’ or, ‘Here young lady, have a drink and let’s see what happens.’”

“We’re scientists, but we’re not dead,” he added.  Read More

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