4-10-2010 (Detroit Mi) – After receiving $1.9 billion in stimulus money to save the crumbling city of Detroit, officials unveiled the fruits of their labor… a bridge to nowhere.
“We spent weeks considering what to spend the money on,” said city official Rosa Johnson. “There were so many options. I was pushing that we spend the money on lotto tickets, but others wanted to spend it in one of those giant slot machines.”
Other officials pushed to spend the money building a new Silverdome, on a new Hummer plant, or on some “shiny new shit.”
“We dicided to buy something useful,” said concelor Mandis Thompson. “This bridge will need to be painted and maintained for years, which will really stimulate our economy.”
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