“THEY SCREAMED AT ME THAT THEY DIDN’T HAVE THE MANPOWER TO INSULT ALL OF US INDIVIDUALLY, AND THAT THEY WERE LOOKING TO ESTABLISH A NEW LEVEL OF EFFICIENCY THAT BIG GOVERNMENT COULD NEVER PROVIDE.”

Source:  http://satiricalpolitical.com/2010/03/21/tea-party-bigots-health-bill-blacks-gays/ (Don Davis)

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NEW YORK, NY – The ego of one former reality TV star might not match the size of a certain “little” part of his body!

Jon Gosselin has been mired in rumors of appearing in Playgirl. There might be a need for money, now that his TV show is a distant memory, but Gosselin shouldn’t be expecting a big paycheck.

According to Life & Style magazine, ” “If Playgirl ever asks Jon Gosselin, 32, to pose nude, he may be a little insulted by the offer. ” “In an exclusive interview Playgirl rep Daniel Nardicio tells the magazine, “We discussed it, and we’d offer him only $20,000. His star is extinguishing, and he’s not very well endowed. Honestly,” Nardicio adds, “it’d be more of a novelty than an actual sexy shoot.”

Jon’s exes have not exactly spoken very highly of him or complemented his manhood for that matter. In Steppin’ Out magazine, Hailey Glassman said of Jon, “he’s hung like a nine-year-old boy.” Kate Major also weighed in on his manhood. “I’m surprised he’s so ‘cocky’ because down there he’s not,” she told Life & Style.

If his star is fading, his former ex-wife’s star is burning pretty bright. Kate Gosselin has just recently been named to the cast of the latest season of Dancing with the Stars. To add insult to injury, Kate stands to win roughly $100,000 from the competition.

http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/16322/jon-gosselin-playgirl/

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Just weeks after passing a bill to provide health care for all US Citizens, the elderly are trying to retroactively create a replacement bill that supports “health care for nobody under 75-years old.”

“Health care is not the inalienale right of all Americans,” said geriatric Senator Chester Q. Copperfield. “It should be reserved for the elderly.   I recommend that nobody gets treated unless you fought in the Great War.  Besides, you can solve just about anything at home with some Aspirin and rum.”

Senator Clara Ivanhoe, a 93-year old republican, told reporters that she was tired of paying for all of this “tattoo removal” and that she wouldn’t use her dollars to replace people’s ears after listening to ”all of that rock and roll.”

“We just won’t tolerate any of this health care BS,” said Agnes Cummogeon (85).  She continued, “I am tired of people stealing my jewelery, and I think there are black people living in my attic!  Where am I?  Eh?”

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Sexy Afro-Squad fan XO was another victim in the series of dirty sanchezes.  This occurrance happened late in the evening on 24 March 2010.

“I was relaxing at home when it happened,” said the victim.  “All was well, then I realized something was fishy.  As it turned out, it was the finger of this criminal mastermind.”

The Brown Bandit has been linked to a trail of sanchez related activities.  This includes a stinky sanchez, at least eight recorded dirty sanchez occurrences, a filthy sanchez, several donky punches, and at least one ghetto finger!

Please check back regularly as we solve this case!!!

(This is one of a series of Sanchez News Articles on http://afrosquad.wordpress.com.  Check them out!

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Here is a picture of a guy and his tiny wife.  (Non-Photoshop)

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