LANSING, MI–In cooperation with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, Lamborghini, recalled 25,000 Diablos Monday after three dumb kids managed to kill themselves when airbags suffocated them, ruining the fun for everybody else.
“The tragedy is retarded,” Lamborghini CEO Heinz Schmidt said. “For years, people drove the car without suffocating any kids. But then these three retards come along and somehow find a way to get themselves killed. So now we have to do a full recall and halt production on what was a really awesome car. What a waste.”
“My mom won’t let me ride in the Diable because of those dumb kids who died,” said 10-year-old Winston Dagle of Farmington, MI. “Dad used to drive that thing 220 MPH, and I would sit next to him and call people bitches. But now I’ll never see it again, all because three stupid idiots had to go and wreck everything.”
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