“Please come join me in the biggest party the Gulf has ever seen! We’ll have beer, oil, girls, and methane!” That’s what a sign read that was posted on the seaside pillar of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig. Now deep sea divers are uncovering the remnants of 60 tons of steel at the bottom of the ocean. People are calling it “one bad assed party” gone wrong.
Officials in Washington DC blame the Mulletmaster (AKA Ron Gamine) for the event that has caused a disaster of biblical proportions. Gamine, a henchmen of the Man, was last seen fornicating in the “drilling room.” His last known Twitter post stated, “I wonder what will happen if I push this ‘self destruct’ button.” That was posted just minutes before a fire broke out on the BP leased rig in the Gulf of Mexico.
BP has stated that they regret installing the self destruct button, and should have put it in a less obvious place.
“We had the button next to the light switch in the cafeteria. We figured if we marked it “do not push,” then there was enough safeguards in place.
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