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Archive for November, 2011

6 Animals With Better Memories Than You

Posted by KrazyMan Knievel On November - 20 - 2011

We tend to think of ourselves as the smartest animals on earth. After all, we’ve built such technological wonders as the Internet, the internal combustion engine and sneakers that light up when you take a step. But despite our big, juicy frontal lobe, many of us still forget to pick up the kids after practice due to our inferior memory, one area where a whole bunch of animals leave us in the dust. For instance …

#6. Chimpanzees’ Visual Memory Can Top Yours

Try this quick test:

Glance at the image below for two seconds only. Don’t cheat. Then cover it with your hand and remember exactly where each digit was, in order.


DON’T GET DISTRACTED! (CENSORED)! BALLS! HITLER!

Can’t do it? Congratulations, you just got your ass handed to you by a chimp.

In a Kyoto University study, a bunch of chimps were taught to count from one to nine, which is impressive enough already, but then each of the subjects was shown some randomly scattered numbers on a computer screen. The numbers were then covered and the subjects were required to identify the position of each number in order (putting us at Cracked at a distinct disadvantage due to our crippling inability to list numbers in any order but descending).

How did they do? Startlingly well, as the quite frankly insane video proves:

Scientists attribute this impressive display of working memory to “eidetic imagery,” or what is commonly known as photographic memory. You’ve probably heard that term in reference to people who remember every little thing that’s ever happened to them, but in this case it just means the chimps seem to have a really good visual memory — they can remember details of an image even if they just glimpsed it for a couple of seconds.

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“I swear to God, man, I thought that stall was unoccupied.”

And more amazingly, their performance did not decrease when the time spent looking at the image was shortened — the chimps were memorizing all of the numbers almost instantaneously. Meanwhile, human subjects who were given the same test exhibited a steep decline in performance with the decrease in memorization time, an infraction that no doubt earned them a severe beating from their chimp overlords.

#5. Sea Lions Never Forget

Quick, what is your most lucid memory from exactly 10 years ago? Let’s rephrase that — what is your most lucid memory unrelated to that whole twin towers thing? Do you think you could remember the details of a card trick your uncle taught you, assuming you never saw or performed that card trick again between then and now? If not, then you just got outdone by a sea lion.


“That’s your card. (CENSORED)ing idiot.”

Categorized by scientists as the cutest kind of lion, the sea lion is usually thought of as a lovable attention whore that will do just about anything for a couple of raw fish. But while trainers have spent years teaching sea lions cheap parlor tricks, they have also discovered that these creatures have an amazing long-term memory, which will be exploited in order to teach them more cheap parlor tricks.

Lars K. Jensen
Sea lions: Whores of the ocean.

Scientists at the University of California, Santa Cruz were able to teach a sea lion named Rio the concept of “sameness” by showing Rio a symbol and then showing her one card with the same symbol and one with a different one. If she correctly identified the same symbol, she was rewarded with a fish, which she would eat with all the tear-filled shame you would expect from a sea lion that’s given up her last shred of dignity. This level of advanced cognitive functioning is impressive in itself, but Rio’s biggest feat would come a decade later.

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Her name is Rio and she flops across the sand …

After 10 freaking years, Rio was given a similar test, only this time it used numbers and letters instead of symbols. She was able to identify the numbers and letters that were the same, despite the fact that she had not performed the trick again at any point in the last decade. This is the longest known retention period of any animal species, and is all the more impressive due to the 25-year lifespan of the sea lion. We’ll see how well you remember the things you learned at 30 when you turn 70.

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“It was something about alcohol and brain cells. Probably not important.”

Scientists believe that this memory serves to help sea lions identify prey that they may only encounter once every few years. Or to help the sea lion exact horrible revenge on its slave masters many years after the fact.

#4. An Elephant Keeps Track of Dozens of Other Elephants at Once

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Here’s a question for all you parents, babysitters and camp counselors: How many infants can you keep track of at any one time? Anyone who has spent time dealing with children knows that if you stop watching for 10 seconds, they’ll be running around in traffic, making friends with savage animals and lining up to take candy from strangers.

If you’re a human being, the answer is probably around three or four. If you’re an elephant, it’s more in the area of 30. Way to go, supermom!

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“I swear to God, Dumbo, you are not my favorite.”

Elephants can keep track of the whereabouts of up to 30 family members, regardless of their distance or direction. They accomplish this incredible task by creating a mental map that locates the position of each family member, even if some are separated from the rest of the pachydermal pack. How do they do this? Through their astounding ability to track and catalogue elephant pee.

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If it wasn’t for that, elephants would go missing constantly.

Whenever they encounter the scent of another elephant’s urine, an elephant can record in its computerish brain the location and direction of the pisser. This enables them to devote a sizable portion of their working memory to maintaining these expansive mental maps.

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The only thing we can detect is the lingering aroma of asparagus.

To test this, scientists gathered urine samples from other elephants and presented them to their relatives. When the samples were from elephants who were far away, or had not yet passed by the area, the elephants reacted with surprise. We’re not sure how the scientists detected “surprise” in elephants, but we trust their judgment.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/QsrboVnLE_A/article_19535_6-animals-with-better-memories-than-you.html

ALIEN SPACESHIPS APPROACHING EARTH!

Posted by The Mullet Master On November - 20 - 2011

WASHINGTON – As predicted, three giant alien spaceships are approaching earth and should land on the planet within ten days!

The United States is officially on “alien red alert” and  the rest of the globe is preparing for the arrival of three gigantic alien spaceships that appear to be hostile.

The aliens spaceships are confirmed to be from Planet Gootan, which lies just outside the Milky Way, nearest Jupiter.   The U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials, in coordination with NASA (and the Russian and Chinese space programs) is tracking the situation by the hour.

“We expect the alien spaceships to enter the earth’s atmosphere sometime on November 28th or 29th,” said Dr. John Malley, the top extraterrestrial expert on the U.N. Panel.  “It is not clear what the Gootans plan to do on earth, but unlike the aliens from Planet Zeeba that have been invading earth for the last fourteen months, the Gootans have been known to be hostile.  Governments around the world are planning for an attack.”

There is one man that plans on saving earth:  Vladmir Putin.

“The world does not need to fear anything,” said Vladmir Putin.  “Russia will handle the Gootans on our own.  If the world is attacked, it is the Russians that will lead the defense of the planet.  We are the strongest people and the bravest.  I fear no Gootan!”

Even though the United States has the largest and strongest military on the planet, President Obama is once again “leading from the rear” on the alien attack  – allowing Putin to take charge.

“It’s outrageous!  The President is allowing the Russians and the Chinese to take the lead in defending Earth and the U.S.,” said speaker of the house John Boehner.   “We need a President who is willing to take on aliens, and defend our country!”

President Obama did reportedly say that he is looking forward to “talking to the Gootans, after they arrive.”

“Talking to the Gootans! Is Obama crazy?” said Presidential candidate Herman Cain.  “The Gootans don’t want to talk, they are like the Libyans, they just want to, you know, be in Libya and do the things that Libyans do and we need someone who can do that and eat pizza at the same time!”

WWN has reporters embedded around the globe and will keep readers updated on the alien attack as it unfolds…

Popularity: 3% [?]

Article source: http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/40616/alien-spaceships-approaching-earth/

The Inevitable Next Step in Shark Movies

Posted by KrazyMan Knievel On November - 19 - 2011

9 Craziest Balancing Home Items

Posted by Cha Cha Brown On November - 19 - 2011


Published on Today 11/19/2011
under Cool Home Design
– by Gracie Murano

Balancing House

Balancing House
Unusual four bedroom house designed by MVRDV and Mole Architects is balanced on the edge of a steep hill in Suffolk, England. Known as the “Balancing Barn”, this cool house features reflective stainless steel exterior and beautiful plywood interior. It even comes with a swing.
(Link | Via)

Balancing Fishbowl

Balancing Fishbowl
Creative aquarium designed by Psalt looks like it is about to fall off the table. The Bubble Tank was made to provoke reactions and start conversations. The shape of this amazing fishbowl was inspired by a water drop which was ready to flow over the edge of the surface it was resting on.
(Link | Via)

Balancing Chair

Balancing Chair
Is it magic? Is it an optical illusion? A little of both, actually. The Shadow Chair comes from British designer Chris Duffy, and although it looks like it’s balancing on two front legs, it’s not. The shadow is actually part of the chair’s metal frame and acts as a base. The chair retails for about $1,200.
(Link | Via)

Balancing Bedside

Balancing Bedside
Looking for unusual bedside table to complete your futuristic bedroom design? Presenting “Balancing Boxes” from Porro Furniture. This unusual table was created by the Swedish design group-Front-whose pretty four members are Anna Lindgren, Katja Sävström, Sofia Lagerkvist and Charlotte von der Lancken.

Balancing Boxes is a small table/container consisting of series of irregularly overlapping painted metal boxes as though poised in space. Visually it appears like a box falling into a void, as immortalized by a photograph or in a futurist painting. Inclinations, interpenetrations and a multifaceted image, guiding different sensations if we look at it from different angles.
(Link | Via)

Balancing Bed

Balancing Bed
Have you ever wanted a floating bed, like those from SciFi movies? Now it’s almost possible. The Dylan from Cattelan Italia has the appearance that it is floating a short distance from the floor. To give the bed its floating appearance, the bed was designed in a unique high tech balancing system. With extraordinary, innovative structure that gives the illusion of being suspended in air, Dylan is an emblem of originality and a sign of exquisite taste. Dylan was created by Andrea Lucatello.
(Link | Via)

Slef-Balancing Tray

Slef-Balancing Tray
The. Best. Serving tray. Ever. The founder of Droog Design uses the simple physics (centrifugal force?) to produce a tray that is one-handed and spill proof. Beautifully balanced, it allows you to open doors, shake hands or serve the contents of the tray. But it also allows freedom of movement because you know the drinks will not slop.
(Link | Via)

Balancing Wine Bottle Holder

Balancing Wine Bottle Holder
You have a balanced swing, so why not a balanced wine bottle? Defying gravity, this golf club wine bottle holder displays your vino for perfect access post-game. Simply insert the neck of your wine bottle into this balancing wine holder and watch in amazement! Crafted from mahogany and finished with a delightful sheen, this golf club wine holder stores and sparks a conversation about your vintage or country club green like no other.
(Link | Via)

Balancing Lounge Chair

Balancing Lounge Chair
Meet Stokke Gravity balancing chair. Billed as the closest to zero-gravity you can get (presumably without actually going into space and experiencing it there, together with freeze-dried food and suits that invariably make you look fat), the Gravity chair can rest in a variety of positions depending on your mood or task; from upright as an office chair to rocked right back for those noon-time naps.
(Link | Via)

Balancing Bookshelf

Balancing Bookshelf
Creative shelf that you have to balance, designed by Denis Oh.
(Link)

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Article source: http://www.oddee.com/item_97977.aspx

Husband Calls For Greater Restrictions On Pier One Imports

ISSUE 33•16 |
04.29.98 | News in Brief

ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, IL—Fed up with what he called an “unacceptably high influx” of wicker crap into the Pollan home, Arlington Heights husband John Pollan called for tougher restrictions on Pier One imports during a living-room press conference Monday. “If steps are not taken, this house will soon be overrun by end tables, pillowcases, glassware, throw rugs, bath towels, lamps and stationery,” said Pollan, addressing his wife, Suzanne. “The flow of Pier One imports into this house must be significantly reduced, or I will order a total embargo on merchandise from that store, as well as a freeze on all joint credit-card accounts.”
more»

Popularity: 1% [?]

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/theonion/daily/~3/ifwoNoOsp_4/

What 26 Video Game Characters Do With Their Down Time

Posted by KrazyMan Knievel On November - 18 - 2011

Video game characters are like work friends. We only see them in their professional clothes, doing their job, trying not to let any dangerous hints of personality accidentally poke out. And like work friends, we’d imagine it would be a little jarring to encounter them at the Olive Garden. We asked you to show us what we’d see video game characters doing if we encountered them after work.

The winner is below, but first the runners up …

#26.


by fairfax

#25.


by Deadgar

#24.


by Jonthngriff

#23.


by Narlus

#22.


by maas

#21.


by Jungling

#20.


by j21

#19.


by AuntieMeme

#18.


by Tim Babb

#17.


by roguematt

#16.


by Moaningtofuspie

#15.


by maas

#14.


by Manx377

Popularity: 1% [?]

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/spAx_byOo6k/

TIM TEBOW CONVERTS TO JUDAISM

Posted by The Mullet Master On November - 18 - 2011

DENVER – Sources say Denver Broncos quarterback, Tim Tebow, decided to convert to Judaism.

Thursday night, Tim Tebow sported his new haircut and yarmulke around the Denver Broncos Invesco Field at Mile High stadium.  There’s an internet sensation about Tebow’s haircut because some thought Tebow’s team mates had cut his hair as part of a hazing ritual, but Tebow spoke to reporters last night and said, “I gave myself this haircut.  I’ve decided to convert to Judaism and my new yarmulke fits better on a bald spot. It was hard to keep on with my hair.”

Taylor Mays, a safety for the Cincinnati Bengals, who is also Jewish, flew to Denver to offer his assistance in Tebow’s conversion. Several prominent Jewish celebrities also flew in to meet with Tebow:  Natalie Portman, Zac Efron, Amanda Bynes, Evan Rachel Wood, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Scarlett Johansson.  Will Ferrell flew in just… to be there.  Here is Tebow bowing before Scarlett Johansson:

The decision has shocked many of Tebow’s fans and many Christians. Tim Tebow, a Heisman trophy winner,  has been a devout Christian his whole life.  Earlier this year, Tebow was told to “shut the f–k up” by fellow NFL recruits after making a request for prayer before taking the Wonderlic standardized test.  He has now angered some of his Denver Bronco teammates by reading the Torah aloud in the locker room.  Tebow, a brilliant and passionate student of Judaism, can already read and speak Hebrew.

Some fans, who just bought a popular new Tebow shirt, were’ not happy:

Tebow has also been blasting the traditional Jewish song, Hava Nagila, in the locker room.  But instead of being annoyed by this, the Broncos have grown to love the song and often dance in circles before practice.  Tebow keeps asking them to put him in a chair and hoist him in the air but… he’s a rookie.  Maybe next year.

When leaving the practice field today, Tebow was asked to comment on his decision, but he simply said, “Shalom.”

ESPN’s Mel Kiper, also Jewish,  has been critical of Tebow in the past, but now thinks that Tebow will be the greatest quarterback to ever walk the earth.

Tim Tebow is busy trying to pick a Jewish name. He’s leaning toward, Kfir Tuvia Malachi.

A public ceremony announcing Tebow’s final conversion will be held at Invesco Field in March.  The event is already sold out.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Article source: http://weeklyworldnews.com/sports/20461/tim-tebow-converts-to-judaism/

The 7 Dumbest Things Students Do When Cramming for Exams

Posted by KrazyMan Knievel On November - 17 - 2011

Each year before the holidays, college students find themselves staring down the barrel of exam week. Fortunately, they’re totally serious about learning the information and they aren’t getting up from this desk until they do! Unfortunately, desperation can only be directly converted into high scores on reality TV. But this crawling panic and insane workload is a great learning experience. College is all about preparing for the real world, and this is one of life’s favorite lessons to teach: You’ve screwed up badly and there will soon be a reckoning. How do you deal with that?

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Plan A

The first and most important thing is to actually deal with it, because running away from college only dumps you in the real world faster. And make no mistake: In the game of life college isn’t even easy mode, it’s the bonus level. You want to enjoy it all the way to the end. Here are seven ways your brain can trick you into studying without actually learning anything.

#7. Osmosis Doesn’t Work

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Listen, students, this might sound crazy but it’s important: You are not squirrels. You may be hyperactive mammals frantically running around trying to mate, hibernate and look hilariously retarded in online photographs, but there’s an important difference: Hoarding things doesn’t help you. Students spend the days leading up to exams stockpiling handouts, photocopies, printouts and textbooks by the video game logic that simply owning books makes you smarter.

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My INT score is higher than my IQ.

Your head won’t absorb knowledge because you built a library on your table. If you find yourself doing this, simply take a deep breath, and tell yourself it’s not your fault. You’re trying to cram three months worth of information into a brain that stress has tricked into thinking it’s being chased be a bear. Hell, you’re lucky you’re not wearing your socks on your hands right now.

But that doesn’t mean you should let yourself off the hook when you notice yourself doing this. In my time working at universities, one thing I noticed without fail was that the terrible students would “study” by piling up work all around them, then sit there wasting time and being miserable until the clock said they were finished. Which is actually brilliant preparation because that’s exactly the type of job they’ll get.

Instead, try starting with something manageable like reading one book you were supposed to have read. And when you do, keep in mind that …

#6. Highlighters Aren’t Magic

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If you’ve ever been to college, or a coffee shop within two miles of one, you’ve seen a student painting their notes like a My Little Pony in drag. In Thailand. We shouldn’t have to explain that highlighter pens aren’t like supermarket scanners — they might drag bright lights over things but they don’t instantly upload data.

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If fluorescent pink burned information into brains no one would be against gay marriage.

Again, this is just your brain flipping out. People having nervous breakdowns revert back to infancy and start flinging their poop around. You’re having 40 percent of a nervous breakdown, and reverting to preschool logic. “I’ll take the most essential parts of my course and COLOR THEM IN! Yay!”

It’s understandable, but it’s profoundly stupid. If you notice yourself lighting a textbook up like TRON fanfic, drop the highlighter. Instead, try writing out the key points of your reading material on a separate page you can study easily and anywhere. If that sounds like too much work, well done, you’ve just found out why people highlight instead.

#5. Stop Nest Building

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In times of stress, the Examinated Student (Stressus Procrastinatus) can spend over an hour crafting the perfect study nest to defend itself from guilt. It all has to be just right, from lighting to coffee, because every single thing that needs to be fixed is another reason not to actually study yet. Some students spend longer trying to reach the perfect setup than Buddhist Monks spend trying to reach Nirvana, and with less tangible results.

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I simply can’t study without at least one photogenic minority in shot.

#4. If You’re Re-Reading, You’re Probably Not Really Studying

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Re-reading your notes does not count as studying, even if it is the easiest way to technically study while watching Mad Men. Also, you’re ruining Mad Men. Watch Mad Men, and then set aside time to actually engage with the material. If you’re in science or engineering, do problems. If you’re in history, write out key elements of a period in a paragraph, or try to teach the chapters you’ve read to your lazy roommate who didn’t read them, and have him try to teach you the ones he read.

If you’re in English lit, put down the play you already read, and write a one page essay discussing how Hamlet was the greatest P%$$y of all time. Do something, anything, which tests your knowledge or makes you actually think, then use your notes to find out what you’d forgotten. Then do the problem again. Instead of sitting and reconfirming, “Yep, I sure can read this language all right!”


You’ve surely earned a B.A. in Cracked Appreciation by now.

Fake studying is the worst waste of time since the American pilot of Doctor Who. If you don’t want to study, there are bars full of other people having more fun than you while not studying. And while they’re screwing themselves, they figure they might as well screw each other. You’ll always find the best college parties just before the exams. You’re missing that by studying, so make sure it’s worth it.

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Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/0lX8WRYkDWo/

Infographic: ‘Family Circus’ Creator Dead

Posted by Cha Cha Brown On November - 17 - 2011

‘Family Circus’ Creator Dead

Bil Keane, whose comic strip The Family Circus has appeared in newspapers since 1960, passed away last week at the age of 89. Here is a brief history of the strip and its creator:

  • 1962 PJ, the youngest child, is introduced in a particularly graphic birth panel
  • 1967 Keane hears “Purple Haze” for the first time, but the experience exerts absolutely no influence on his work
  • 1970 The kids get a new pet when they’re allowed to keep Sam, a stray dog, instead of being forced to drown him in a burlap sack as Keane had originally planned
  • 1974 The now legendary “Daddy, do you want me to eat your pudding so you won’t have to?” panel debuts to universal acclaim
  • 1975 Mere days before the Fall of Saigon, Billy is shot on the Cambodian border, one of the last U.S. casualties of the Vietnam conflict
  • 1977 Keane bumps into Love Is… creator Kim Casali at a cartoonist’s convention and beats the shit out of her
  • 1982 While exploring each other’s differences, 3-year-old Jeffy and a neighbor girl discover he has a shoehorn and she has a bucket
  • 1991 When new character “Cousin Greg” proves to be unpopular, the family abandons him at the ice cream parlor
  • 1994 Keane overhears someone say, “I feel lonely,” and thinks to himself, hey, that’s a comic right there
  • 1995 The strip is revealed to take place in an alternate universe where Dwight Eisenhower has been elected president 11 times

Popularity: 1% [?]

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/theonion/daily/~3/XLHaGwuflWs/

9 Bizarre Traffic Tickets

Posted by Cha Cha Brown On November - 17 - 2011


Published on Today 11/17/2011
under Strange Stories
– by Gracie Murano

The man who paid off mother’s 1954 parking ticket

The man who paid off mother's 1954 parking ticket
A parking ticket issued 57 years ago in southeast Nebraska was paid off. The fine: a dime. York Police Chief Don Klug says a man walked into the station with the ticket and payment — mounted and framed. The man said he found the ticket among his mother’s things and wanted to settle the debt. The ticket was issued on July 13, 1954, to a vehicle licensed in Oklahoma. The man told Klug that he believed his mother had been visiting York at the time and probably lost track of the citation.

Klug plans to hang the framed ticket on the wall of his office in York, about 50 miles west of Lincoln.
(Link 1 | Link 2 | Via)

The toy bus which was given a £50 parking ticket

The toy bus which was given a £50 parking ticket
A hairdresser has appealed a £50 parking fine after a traffic warden gave his children-size toy bus a ticket. Giovanni Cortessi’s 3ft-tall classic toy vehicle had been parked on the side of London Road in Brighton, for over a month when it was slapped with the ticket. Mr Cortessi had initially put the miniature double decker bus on display outside Giovanni’s salon to cheer up customers and advertise his hairdressing services.

NSL, the company responsible for overseeing parking enforcement in the Brighton and Hove area, said they had since cancelled the fine following his appeal. However, Mr Cortessi said that if NSL did cancel the overzealous ticket, they hadn’t notified him. The astounded hairdresser also described the warden who issued the fine to the miniature vehicle, a “killjoy.”
(Link)

The bus driver who slid under a bus to avoid driving fine

The bus driver who slid under a bus to avoid driving fine
A bus driver in China caused major congestion after he hid himself under his own vehicle to avoid being given a fine by police. The man was stopped in Zhongshan, in China’s Guangdong province, after he was caught speeding through a red light and carelessly switching lanes. In a desperate attempt to escape being given a ticket, the driver slid past the officers and hid underneath his parked bus. This, in turn, forced the police to spend time getting the man out from under the low-riding bus – as impatient motorists sat in ever-increasing traffic jams around the junction. After failed attempts to talk the man out, the police called the fire brigade to tow the bus, but the threat only increased the unnamed man’s resolve as he crawled along in time with the moving vehicle.

The police eventually managed to get him out from the narrow space by using force – grabbing his arms and pulling him out. He was later taken into custody.
(Link | Via)

The woman who was fined for having car parked in the same spot since 208 AD

The woman who was fined for having car parked in the same spot since 208 AD
Police in Sicily issued a whopping 32,000 euros ($44,500) fine for an illegally parked car after totting up 2,000 years of interest by mistake. The interest due was calculated from the year 208 A.D. after a policeman dated the fine back to the year 208 instead of 2008.

When she opened the envelope with the parking fine, the owner of the vehicle had a dizzy turn and had to be taken to hospital. The police later acknowledged the error and the woman’s husband stumped up the 102 euros actually due.
(Link | Via)

The angry plumber who paid his parking fine with 3,500 pennies

The angry plumber who paid his parking fine with 3,500 pennies
Plumber Stuart White got so fed-up with receiving parking fines that he stormed into a council office to pay the latest one in pennies. The 42-year-old, who claims he is being victimized by traffic wardens when he is on emergency plumbing calls, took 3,500 pennies to Cheltenham Borough Council’s offices in a black bucket and tipped them out on the desk. He had received a £35 penalty for leaving his van on double yellow lines in Bath Road, Cheltenham, but he claims he stopped only for a moment as part of his job.

Rebecca Banner, parking administration manager at the council, declined to comment on how long it took staff to count out the fine. The council said it would be offering Mr White advice on how to avoid further fines.
(Link)

The woman who got 69 red light cam tickets

The woman who got 69 red light cam tickets
Albuquerque New Mexico’s Amber Gray could be called the Queen of red light camera tickets.
In the past two and a half years Gray has accumulated 69 red light camera tickets blowing through red lights at speed far exceeding the speed limit. According to the cops, she’s also been pulled over by the police 23 times for separate driving incidents in that same time frame and continues to drive on a revoked license. She owes the City of Albuquerque over $10,000 in fines.

(Link)

The pedestrian who received a £80 ticket for being run over by a police car

The pedestrian who received a £80 ticket for being run over by a police car
When a pedestrian was hit by a police car which mounted the pavement, it was obvious who was going to come off worse. After suffering a broken foot in the collision, however, Daniel Horne thought all the damage had been done. Until he received an £80 fine – for denting the vehicle.

The fine ticket reads: “You ran into the n/s [near side] front wing of a marked police vehicle causing a dent.”
(Link | Via)

The 97 year-old granny who was jailed over parking fine

The 97 year-old granny who was jailed over parking fine
A 97-year-old woman was handcuffed and taken to jail for failing to pay a parking ticket. Officers said they had no choice but to jail Harriette Kelton when they stopped her for having an out-of-date registration and MOT and discovered there was a warrant for her arrest.

Mrs Kelton, a former schoolteacher from Dallas, Texas, was in police custody for about two hours before her lawyer arrived and she was released. ‘Our real beef with this is that no real judgment was displayed or actually carried out in this incident,’ said Mrs Kelton’s son, Dr Phil Kelton, a plastic surgeon. But police spokesman Detective Randy Millican, said the officers had no choice but to arrest Dr Kelton’s mother. Dr Kelton said his mother lives alone, cooks her own meals, goes out to lunch regularly and is involved in the community.
(Link)

The London Councils who issued a parking tickets to themselves and then refused to pay fine to themselves

The London Councils who issued a parking tickets to themselves and then refused to pay fine to themselves
It doesn’t get any sillier than this, folks: the councils of 6 boroughs in London issued parking tickets to themselves, then refused to pay the fines to themselves. Some cases went through a staggering 14 stages before reaching a Parking Appeals tribunal. One farce saw Islington Council in North London issue a ticket, then take itself to an appeal hearing – where it asked for costs against itself. The costs process involves another four steps. Stunned adjudicator Gerald Styles said he could not make an order for costs because the council could not “act wholly unreasonably or vexatiously against itself”.
(Link | Via)

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10 Bizarre Cases of Heart Attacks

Popularity: 1% [?]

Article source: http://www.oddee.com/item_97976.aspx

If Error Messages Had a Sense of Humor

Posted by KrazyMan Knievel On November - 16 - 2011

Most of us probably read more words written in error messages than we do from members of our family. That’s almost certainly true for your parents, both because you’re an ungrateful good-for-nothing, and because your parents are probably terrible at computers. We asked you to give some common error messages a little personality.

The winners is below, but first the runners-up …

#37.


by E.H.Redlum

#36.


by sexyrobot

#35.


by jengel14

#34.


by Perusse

#33.


by AzISeeIt

#32.


by Chris Radomile

#31.


by AuntieMeme

#30.


by The Machete

#29.


by JimC.

#28.


by ZedRage

#27.


by Trashvampire666

#26.


by Tim Babb

#25.


by the_illuminist

#24.


by semanticsophist

#23.


by Riggedmuffin

#22.


by Parasite138

#21.


by OMGitsME

#20.


by mhensch

#19.


by mhensch

Popularity: 1% [?]

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/wyTtzTrx9L0/

If Error Messages Had a Sense of Humor

Posted by KrazyMan Knievel On November - 16 - 2011

Most of us probably read more words written in error messages than we do from members of our family. That’s almost certainly true for your parents, both because you’re an ungrateful good-for-nothing, and because your parents are probably terrible at computers. We asked you to give some common error messages a little personality.

The winners is below, but first the runners-up …

#37.


by E.H.Redlum

#36.


by sexyrobot

#35.


by jengel14

#34.


by Perusse

#33.


by AzISeeIt

#32.


by Chris Radomile

#31.


by AuntieMeme

#30.


by The Machete

#29.


by JimC.

#28.


by ZedRage

#27.


by Trashvampire666

#26.


by Tim Babb

#25.


by the_illuminist

#24.


by semanticsophist

#23.


by Riggedmuffin

#22.


by Parasite138

#21.


by OMGitsME

#20.


by mhensch

#19.


by mhensch

Popularity: 1% [?]

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/wyTtzTrx9L0/

OBAMA TO SEND MARINES TO AUSTRALIA

Posted by The Mullet Master On November - 16 - 2011

CANBERRA – President Obama, worried about the Australian threat, is deploying Marins to Australia.

With the approval of Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard,  Barack Obama announced details of a new military operation in Australia.

In recent months, there has been a lot of unrest in Australia, which came about after Gillard announced some pro-Labor economic policies.  Conservatives in Australia began protesting and seemed to be gaining in popularity.

“We can’t have conservatives getting the majority in any country,” Obama reportedly told Australians.

“If conservatives get control of Australia, then that kind of ‘virus’ can spread around the world and that could ruin what we’ve all done the last four years.”

Australia has agreed to allow two full Marine battalions to set up a base outside Sydney, Melbourne, and Canberra.

2,250 US Marines will arrive at the beginning of 2012 (redeployed from Iraq) and by the end of 2012 there will be about 10,000 U.S. Marines in Australia, ready to battle some young, wild Australian conservatives like these fellows:

The deployment is being seen as a move to counter China’s growing influence.

Obama said the US was “stepping up its commitment to the entire Asia-Pacific”, and if there were any hints of “dangerous” conservative thinking rising up in other Asian countries.  ”I will take action.”

“The main message that I’ve said, not only publicly but also privately to China, is that with their rise comes increased responsibility,” he said.

“It is important for them to play by the rules of the road.”

Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Liu Weimin questioned whether the move was in keeping with the region’s peaceful development.

“It may not be quite appropriate to intensify and expand military alliances and may not be in the interest of countries within this region,” he was quoted as saying by AFP news agency.

This deployment is the biggest in Australia since World War II.

Mr Obama has twice cancelled visits to Australia in the past – in March 2010 as he worked to pass healthcare reform legislation and then in June the same year amid the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

After his stop in Darwin, Mr Obama flies to Indonesia for a summit of Asian leaders.

Many Australian natives are confused about this latest deployment:

Popularity: 1% [?]

Article source: http://weeklyworldnews.com/politics/40544/obama-to-send-marines-to-australia/

OBAMA TO SEND MARINES TO AUSTRALIA

Posted by The Mullet Master On November - 16 - 2011

CANBERRA – President Obama, worried about the Australian threat, is deploying Marins to Australia.

With the approval of Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard,  Barack Obama announced details of a new military operation in Australia.

In recent months, there has been a lot of unrest in Australia, which came about after Gillard announced some pro-Labor economic policies.  Conservatives in Australia began protesting and seemed to be gaining in popularity.

“We can’t have conservatives getting the majority in any country,” Obama reportedly told Australians.

“If conservatives get control of Australia, then that kind of ‘virus’ can spread around the world and that could ruin what we’ve all done the last four years.”

Australia has agreed to allow two full Marine battalions to set up a base outside Sydney, Melbourne, and Canberra.

2,250 US Marines will arrive at the beginning of 2012 (redeployed from Iraq) and by the end of 2012 there will be about 10,000 U.S. Marines in Australia, ready to battle some young, wild Australian conservatives like these fellows:

The deployment is being seen as a move to counter China’s growing influence.

Obama said the US was “stepping up its commitment to the entire Asia-Pacific”, and if there were any hints of “dangerous” conservative thinking rising up in other Asian countries.  ”I will take action.”

“The main message that I’ve said, not only publicly but also privately to China, is that with their rise comes increased responsibility,” he said.

“It is important for them to play by the rules of the road.”

Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Liu Weimin questioned whether the move was in keeping with the region’s peaceful development.

“It may not be quite appropriate to intensify and expand military alliances and may not be in the interest of countries within this region,” he was quoted as saying by AFP news agency.

This deployment is the biggest in Australia since World War II.

Mr Obama has twice cancelled visits to Australia in the past – in March 2010 as he worked to pass healthcare reform legislation and then in June the same year amid the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

After his stop in Darwin, Mr Obama flies to Indonesia for a summit of Asian leaders.

Many Australian natives are confused about this latest deployment:

Popularity: 1% [?]

Article source: http://weeklyworldnews.com/politics/40544/obama-to-send-marines-to-australia/

The Startup: A Less Productive Alternative to Unemployment

Posted by KrazyMan Knievel On November - 15 - 2011

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