Cartoon characters have children all the time, and they always look like more adorable versions of the parent. But with all the different anthropomorphic characters floating around, there are sure to be some genetic monstrosities. We asked you to show them to us. The winner is below, but first the runners up …
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HISTORY
9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT
Tonight: Jeremy tracks retread debris across western Ohio, Clint catches some quick shut-eye on the shoulder of a Flagler, CO off-ramp, and Big Frank blasts his horn in exchange for a flash from two coeds in the back of a Jeep Wrangler.
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Published on Today 4/29/2012
under Cool Ads
– by Gracie Murano
A little too close to reality.
(Link)
No more living in denial about the size of your waist line, thanks to this fantastic, albeit terrifying, guerrilla marketing initiative from the health club chain, Fitness First. Unsuspecting commuters in the Netherlands are faced with viewing their body weight in bright lights – quite literally – when they take a seat at this Rotterdam bus stop. Scary, to say the very least, but extraordinarily clever, and likely to increase membership numbers at the local Fitness First. The brainchild of Netherlands’ agency N=5, the initiative takes the concept of guerilla marketing to a whole new level.
(Link)
The best helpers are ones that you don’t have to pay. The Canadian ad agency Rethink makes good use of bald commuters on rapid transit trains by exposing their heads for all to see.
VIP Gym thought images of a flabby, cellulite-ridden butt topped with a pair of love handles would be enough to make people want to “get up and run.” Glued to chairs in restaurants and cafes, the poster gives you the uncomfortable feeling that you’re seeing way more of strangers than you would like.
(Via)
Whe costumers bend to read the little text it says:
“At this moment, you bum is completely exposed. If it were in a s#xy pair of jeans, it would attract attention all the time!”
Okay, it isn’t a promotional product, but it is a clever way to make a poster interactive. The poster is purposely mounted so it droops over itself. When a curious passerby lifts it up, their personal smell is called into question. They get props for being funny, and for making a simple piece of paper into an interactive ad.
(Link)
A Coca Cola Guerrilla Marketing Magnet Ad to promote Coca Cola’s grip bottles. The ad places magnets behind the billboard so when passersby stand too close with metal in their pockets, they are magically attracted to the ad.
(Link)
Condomi Erotic Shopping Bag. Advertising Agency: Draft FCB Kobza, Vienna, Austria
(Link)
This guerrilla ad campaign wouldn’t stand a chance of flying in the US.
This man doesn’t look too happy to be in the ad.
(Link)
A floating afro sits at head-level behind a bus stop seat, just at the right height to make it look like anyone who sits there has quite an impressive head of hair. This poster by ‘Real Hip Hop’ is definitely an eye-catcher.
(Link)
A huge interactive light box was mounted in the Seoul Sindorim Subway Station, the entrance way to a multiplex electronics shopping mall where various brands compete. Over 500,000 commuters use the station daily, making it the perfect place for an ad like this. Huddled together as if at a premiere, the paparazzi appear to be jostling and competing for the best celebrity shot. The celebrities, however, are the ones walking by; they automatically trigger a deluge of flashing camera lights. The accidental superstars then follow the red carpet all the way out of the station and into a mall, where there’s a Nikon shop conveniently located inside.
If I were shy, I wouldn’t be too happy about passing by this ad.
(Link)
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BOCA RATON – Many top scientists believe that aliens live secretly among us. The sneaky intergalactic travelers often pose as our friends, neighbors and co-workers while they learn the ways of Earth. But how can you tell invading aliens from real humans?
Weekly World News has interviewed dozens of experts and conducted exhaustive research to bring you this list of the top ten ways to recognize aliens in our midst.
1 Aliens often wear huge sunglasses to hide their eyes. Most aliens have large, staring eyes that are hard to conceal. Sunglasses help them appear more normal.
2 Aliens have cold and clammy skin. Many aliens wear synthetic skin in order to pass themselves off as human. It’s never as warm as real skin, and it often feels “slimy” to the touch.
3They smell. Aliens use all manner of deodorants, perfumes, or lotions to disguise their natural scent, which is offensive to humans.
4 Aliens are obsessed with technology. They spend hours chatting on cell phones and sending e-mails. But they’re not conversing with people — they are actually transmitting data they’ve accumulated back to their home worlds.
5 Aliens have strange bodily proportions. The newest breeds of aliens attempt to imitate human appearance — but they never quite get it right. They are like exaggerated ideas of human perfection. Their stomachs are too flat, their chests too big, their faces wrinkle-free.
6 Aliens have strange diets. Aliens may not be able to digest most human foods. Because of this, they are limited in the types of foods they can eat, and they may become vegetarians. Watch out for people who eat a lot of melons — that’s an alien favorite.
7 Aliens dance in inhuman ways. Most alien species have a completely different physiology than ours. They have the ability to move their bodies to music in a way no ordinary human can, and this results in a Dancing style that is quite breathtaking.
8 Aliens do not understand Earth’s sense of humor. Forget what you saw on Mork and Mindy. Aliens find it difficult to understand laughter — even a simple knock-knock joke can throw them completely off. They might laugh at inappropriate times — like during a funeral — or stare blankly at the funniest jokes.
9 Aliens dress in oddly revealing clothes. Aliens find clothing irritates their flesh, so the less of it they wear, the more comfortable they are. They also like to keep their fake human skin exposed to air, to allow it to breathe.
10 Aliens ask hundreds of questions. Aliens are on Earth for research, and they want to learn as much as possible about Earthlings. They’re like alien anthropologists, fascinated by human behavior and eager to study our culture. So keep your eyes open for any people asking a lot of nosy questions.
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This was like an internet nerd crying about a video he didn’t have to watch on the internet, giving an opinion nobody cares about while at the same time being a douche. awkward, uninteresting, and just,…painful to read.
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For the handful of you who weren’t following along, we covered the 2012 NFL draft live last night. On the job from the Cracked war-room, we had Soren Bowie (our resident NFL expert and a die hard Broncos fan) as well as Cody Johnston (has a last name that sounds sort of like that of Magic and Michael Johnson, who are both athletes). Here are the highlights …
5:01 Sorenb: Oh good, you’re all here.
5:02 CodyJohnston: Thank God.
5:02 Comment From Michael Soren who is your team and who do you hope they take? Cody do you know the names of any teams?
5:02 Sorenb: I’m a Broncos fan. The broncos will pick up a DT in both their first picks, I imagine.
5:02 CodyJohnston: I’m familiar with the Gotham City Rogues.
5:03 CodyJohnston: And, now, the Broncos.
5:03 CodyJohnston: The… ::Illegible:: Broncos.
5:03 CodyJohnston: Denver probably.
5:03 CodyJohnston: Denver sounds right.
Getty
That’s in Canada, isn’t it?
5:04 CodyJohnston: I could probably guess some other teams.
5:04 Comment From Guest Who do you think will more likely Bust? Griffin or Luck?
5:04 CodyJohnston: Giants, Eagles, Tigers, Ravens, Crows, Dragons, and so on.
5:04 CodyJohnston: Those sound like team names.
5:05 CodyJohnston: Word is HBO’s Luck has already been canceled.
5:05 Sorenb: Neither. They’ll both be outstanding. Ryan Tannehill, though. That guy is terrible.
5:05 Comment From Daniel Obrien Who won the Super Bowl last year?
5:05 CodyJohnston: Never even heard of this Griffin show. Is that also HBO?
5:07 Sorenb: Cleveland absolutely will take Trent Richardson.
5:07 CodyJohnston: Yeah, Richardson is definitely going to go to Cleveland.
5:08 Sorenb: After that, who knows. They’ll probably look for a wide receiver.
5:08 CodyJohnston: He had a really good year of sports last year.
5:08 Comment From Sam When will Brandon Weeden be taken?
5:08 CodyJohnston: Everyone’s going to want Richardson.
5:09 Sorenb: Weedon will fall to the second round, I think. He’s not that great.
5:09 CodyJohnston: This Bud Light Blue Room makes me want an ice cold Blue Moon.
5:09 CodyJohnston: Or just, not a Bud Light, I guess.
5:09 Sorenb: Andrew Luck looks and sounds like a regular sized Andre the Giant.
5:10 CodyJohnston: Speaking of products, I just have to bring up Old Spice right now.
5:10 Comment From Chris Oh shit a brandon stokley jersey
5:10 Sorenb: Finally I can wear mine again!
Getty
Put a helmet on Soren and they could be twins.
5:10 Comment From Edward why is Luck considered better t3 RG
5:11 CodyJohnston: Not because Old Spice is sponsoring this, but because I just really like Old Spice and would recommend it to whomever asked me what deodorant they should use.
5:11
CodyJohnston: If Old Spice wasn’t sponsoring this, I would still want to take a moment and talk about Old Spice.
5:11 Sorenb: He’s a better allaround quarterback. He makes smarter decisions. RG3 is really good but he’s also more of a running quarterback which hasn’t traditionally done well in the NFL.
5:11 Comment From Jesse Soren who do you think will best compliment manning out of the draft?
5:11 CodyJohnston: I’ve used it since high school, and it’s never caused any problems for me. In fact, it’s fixed some problems. Like, body odor problems and so on.
5:12 CodyJohnston: Not that I have body odor problems or anything.
5:12 CodyJohnston: (ladies)
5:12 Sorenb: Kendall Wright or Stephen Hill, The Broncos won’t take a WR until the second round though. They need a defense.
5:12 Comment From Cuyler Who will have the best rookie season: Dontari Poe, Luke Keuchly or Courtney Upshaw?
5:13 Sorenb: Dontari Poe. He’s going to be awesome.
5:13 CodyJohnston: Sorry, I got distracted by my love of Old Spice that is not at all influenced by the fact that they’re sponsoring this.
5:13 CodyJohnston: What did I miss?
5:13 CodyJohnston: Hugs?
5:13 CodyJohnston: Looks like I missed a lot of people hugging each other.
5:14 Sorenb: RG3 barely fits in that gigantic suit.
5:14 Sorenb: When he hugs people it looks like his shoulder blades are about to explode out of it.
5:14 Comment From John Soren, can you verify that Cody does not have body odor problems?
5:14 CodyJohnston: Those have to be shoulder pads.
5:14 Sorenb: He smells like pine nuts and gasoline.
5:20 Sorenb: Man, this part of the draft is so boring.
5:20 CodyJohnston: Soren was just sarcastically surprised about whatever just happened on TV.
5:21 CodyJohnston: He was all “Oh, get out of TOWN.”
5:21 Comment From RG3Skins Dolphins might move up.
5:21 CodyJohnston: And I was all “Heh heh, yeah. Totally expected. Heh heh.”
5:21 CodyJohnston: They weren’t nervous laughs at all.
5:21 Sorenb: They just want Ryan Tannehill, and no one else wants him.
5:21 CodyJohnston: Not at all.
5:22 CodyJohnston: “Man, this part of the draft is so boring.” Soren, just now.
5:22 Comment From Paul What about the Jags? They need a WR bad, shouldn’t they move up?
5:22 CodyJohnston: “Man, this part of the draft is so boring.” me, literally any moment in time.
5:22 Sorenb: No one should take a WR in the first round. They under perform all the time.
5:22 Sorenb: Michael Floyd will be good but Blackmon will be a bust.
5:23 Comment From Buddhafw There’s a dikta in your sister, and she is laying on the couch…
5:23 Sorenb: I’m lost track of the question now. Are we still fighting something?
5:23 Comment From Captain Ventris Soren, which draft pick will be the next celebrity to stalk you?
5:23 CodyJohnston: Alyssa Milano
5:24 Sorenb: Courtney Upshaw. He won’t stop calling.
5:30 CodyJohnston: But to answer your question for real, my nickname in high school was “Sports Guy”.
5:30 Sorenb: Yes, the best wide receivers have generally come from the second round. The kids who go first are terrible team players because they’ve never been told no in their lives. They are hotshots. I don’t like hotshots.
5:30 Comment From Shelly Anyone else feel bad for whomever the Browns draft?
5:30 Sorenb: Burn…
5:31 CodyJohnston: But not because I played sports, or was interested in sports, or knew the names of sports.
5:31 Sorenb: I think the Jaguars are going to take Gilmore and shot everyone.
5:31 CodyJohnston: It was because I wore sports deodorant to keep myself dry and smelling great.
Getty
Above: Cody’s high school yearbook photo.
5:31 Sorenb: whoops, “shock”
5:31 CodyJohnston: Specifically, Old Spice sports deodorant.
5:31 Comment From Jack What will it take for the Cowboys to win the super bowl?
5:31 CodyJohnston: But it didn’t have to be that.
5:32 CodyJohnston: Any old Old Spice product would do.
5:32 Sorenb: You’re being ridiculous.
5:32 CodyJohnston: FIFTH PICK IN A SECOND
5:32 Sorenb: Well there goes my credibility.
5:33 Sorenb: Blackmon is going to Jacksonville. Apparently the pundits aren’t listening to me at all.
Getty
SOME people prefer stacks of money to vindicating Internet comedy writers.
5:33 CodyJohnston: Now, when they say fifth pick…
5:33 CodyJohnston: That’s fifth out of how many?
5:33 Sorenb: Cody, just…so many.
5:34 CodyJohnston: Like seven or something?
5:34 Sorenb: More, even more than that.
5:37 Sorenb: Keep your head in the game, Cody.
5:38 Comment From Anthony Hey Soren, as an NFL fan, what are your thoughts on Rugby?
5:38 CodyJohnston: “Head in the game”.
5:38 CodyJohnston: Another sports phrase for me to remember.
5:38 CodyJohnston: Thanks, Soren.
5:38 Sorenb: I have nothing against it. It seems pretty agreeable. I like any game where people tape their ears to their heads.
5:39 Comment From Guest Cody, how many rundownscorepointhoopruns do you think Justin Blackmon will score this season? I hope several.
5:39 Comment From Bradford Which player, or position, are you most afraid the Broncos are going to pick if they screw the pooch?
5:39 CodyJohnston: I only recognized one of the words you just used.
5:39 CodyJohnston: But, yes, my name is Cody.
5:39 Sorenb: I think they might try to get a running back early which would ruin everything. They can afford to wait until the second or third round.
5:40 CodyJohnston: For football players, these guys sure are wearing a lot of baseball hats.
5:40 Comment From Darcy soren and cody, who are your favorite college teams to watch?
5:40 Sorenb: Boise State and Iowa. Cody, who do you like?
5:40 CodyJohnston: I went to The Ohio State University.
5:41 CodyJohnston: That’s the closest thing to an answer that I can give you.
5:43 CodyJohnston: Seriously, I think Tyrion Lannister could go all the way.
5:43 CodyJohnston: He’s been coming up a little short.
5:44 CodyJohnston: But he’s got the stats and the smarts.
5:44 CodyJohnston: He just lacks the drive and ambition.
5:44 Sorenb: Cody, Tyrion has zero field IQ. I guarantee no one will even say his name today.
5:45 Sorenb: Mark Barron was a surprise.
5:45 CodyJohnston: WTF with Mark Barron is one of my favorite podcasts.
5:45 Sorenb: Where’s his sports coat? How do we know he’s, you know…sporty?
5:46 CodyJohnston: Soren, I think you’ve got your numbers wrong.
5:46 CodyJohnston: Don’t jump the gun. I wouldn’t count out Tyrion just yet.
5:46 Sorenb: It’s weird how they always call players from Alabama “Bama Product”
5:47 CodyJohnston: But, seriously, football players, enough with the baseball hats.
5:47 Sorenb: These are people.
5:47 Comment From Joe Soren, speaking of Tampa safetys, who is your favorite of the Barber twins?
5:47 Sorenb: Tiki, his teeth are glorious.
5:48 Sorenb: Marion had so much hair his nose was almost touching his facemask.
5:48 Comment From daniel Soren, what are your thoughts on John Gruden? Hot or not?
5:49 Sorenb: His hair you can argue with, his hair you cannot.
5:49 Sorenb: Well that didn’t make a lot of sense.
5:49 Sorenb: I think he’s a great coach, and a mediocre announcer.
5:55 Sorenb: Well, it turns out I’m terrible at this.
5:55 Comment From Daniel I voted for Matt Kalil in the last poll because as an OLineman, he is big, hearty, and strong… and like all lineman, underestimated in the brains department.
5:56 Sorenb: You are smarter than me.
5:56 CodyJohnston: I don’t want to steer things away from the draft or bring everyone down or anything, but I bet Joffrey Baratheon is raping an adorable puppy right now.
5:56 Comment From that guy I’m a broncos fan with the addition of manning what else do you think they need to go to the superbowl?
5:57 Sorenb: Like, a thousand things. A safety, a running back, two guys on the defensive line.
5:57 Sorenb: Oh, so I guess 3 then.
5:57 Sorenb: No, wait 4.
5:58 CodyJohnston: I just got word that there’s a whole football team named after people named Bill.
5:58 CodyJohnston: That must make a couple thousand people feel really f*#%ing great about themselves.
6:01 CodyJohnston: This draft is a real nailbiter.
6:01 CodyJohnston: Makin’ me sweat.
6:01 CodyJohnston: Good thing I’m wearing Old Spice.
6:01 Comment From Eli Sorry its Peytons computer, he just gave me a swirly for using it.
6:01 CodyJohnston: And, again, I would be wearing it even if this wasn’t sponsored by Old Spice.
6:01 Sorenb: Good. Now get back to your finger paints.
6:01 CodyJohnston: I know this sounds like a bit, like I’m doing a bit about being sponsored by Old Spice…
6:02 Comment From Joe Who would be drafted first in the Cracked flag football league?
6:02 CodyJohnston: But if this were sponsored by Bud Light (drink responsibly), and someone for some stupid reason asked “What deodorant do you use?”, I would answer “Old Spice” and it would be an honest answer.
6:02 CodyJohnston: You don’t have to believe me.
6:02 Sorenb: Seanbaby, Jack O’Brien and maybe Cody as a possible dark horse.
6:02 CodyJohnston: I don’t expect you to.
6:02 CodyJohnston: Because, come on, this is sponsored by Old Spice.
6:03 Sorenb: Michael won’t take it seriously and Brockway doesn’t have the competitive spirit.
6:03 CodyJohnston: But I very seriously use it anyway, and I don’t know what else to say to get you to believe me.
6:03 CodyJohnston: Regardless, good stuff.
6:03 CodyJohnston: Good stuff, that Old Spice.
6:04 Sorenb: Noooooooo
6:04 Comment From Old Spice Corporate Cody what kind of beer do you drink?
6:05 Sorenb: John Cheese is a loose cannon, I couldn’t get him to play hard on every down for us.
6:05 CodyJohnston: I am contractually obligated to say Old Spice.
6:05 Sorenb: He also might hurt someone.
6:05 CodyJohnston: But if I weren’t contractually obligated to say that, I would still say it.
6:05 CodyJohnston: I’ve drank it since high school, and I stand by it as a reliable, delicious product.
6:05 CodyJohnston: Regardless of the fact that this is sponsored by Old Spice.
6:06 CodyJohnston: Drink responsibly.
6:15 Comment From Tyler Soren, Was it worth it for the Eagles to trade up?
6:15 CodyJohnston: I’ll rattle off some stats if you want.
6:15 CodyJohnston: A lot of good runs last year.
6:15 CodyJohnston: Good amount of goals and drives and stuff.
6:15 Sorenb: Good question. Man, I didn’t anticipate everyone actually following the draft. I do think it was worth it, Cox is amazing and he fills a big hole for them. Oh, oh no. What did I just do?
6:15 CodyJohnston: My favorite part is when they get the ball into the area.
6:16 Sorenb: Cody, that’s my favorite part too.
6:16 CodyJohnston: My least favorite part is when the team I don’t like gets the ball into the area.
6:16 CodyJohnston: That’s the worst.
6:16 Sorenb: What team do you want to get the ball into the area?
6:16 CodyJohnston: …
6:16 CodyJohnston: … Old Spice?
6:17 Comment From Alex Soren with both Poe and Cox off the board do you want the Broncos to trade back and pick up more value?
6:17 CodyJohnston: Just kidding, I’m a big fan of the other ones.
6:17 CodyJohnston: One of the animal teams.
6:17 Sorenb: No, there are still a lot of good defensive linemen out there. Jerel Worthy, maybe?
6:18 CodyJohnston: The parakeets or whatever.
6:18 Sorenb: Ugh.
6:18 CodyJohnston: Sorry. I mean the Parakeets.
6:18 CodyJohnston: No disrespect.
6:18 Sorenb: There are no parakeets.
6:18 Sorenb: Pick a predator, Cody.
6:19 Comment From Bryan Soren, how many hours did you spend researching prior to this chat so that you would have something to say?
6:19 Sorenb: Man, so many hours.
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Published on Today 4/27/2012
under Strange Stories
– by Gracie Murano
Website Offers $1M For Proof Of s#x With Jets’ Tim Tebow
Jets quarterback Tim Tebow has steadfastly maintained he is a virgin while living the high-profile life of a professional athlete. Well, controversial website AshleyMadison.com apparently wants to challenge one of Tebow’s core beliefs. They’re offering up big money to any woman who can prove she has slept with the NFL sensation.
CNBC sports business reporter Darren Rovell tweeted the rumblings of a $1 million bounty. The company retweeted Rovell and issued a confirmation via Twitter, “@darrenrovell @TimTebow – It’s true Darren…we’re just worried it might cost us millions!” Ashley Madison provides matches for those seeking an extramarital affair. The company is described on its homepage as the “most recognized name in infidelity.”
(Link)
Company Held Orgy To Reward Salesmen
A German insurance company decided to reward the success of its sales staff in a rather unusual way – with a prostitute-filled orgy. While most organizations might show their appreciation for their employees with a free night out or a generous bonus package, insurance giant Munich Re decided a night of s#x was the best way to keep staff motivated. One of its divisions, Ergo, has admitted that an orgy in a Budapest spa was organized in 2007 to reward particularly successful salesmen, with guests able to take prostitutes to bed and “do whatever they like.” But a participant in the orgy has revealed that far from being a chaotic free-for-all, the occasion was extremely well organized, with prostitutes wearing color-coded armbands and receiving stamps after rendering their services. The unnamed man told German newspaper Handelsblatt, “After each encounter the women were stamped on the lower arm in order to keep track of how often each woman was frequented. The women wore red and yellow wrist bands. One lot was hostesses, the others would fulfill your every wish.”
(Link | Via)
School District Gives Away Camaro as a Reward for Good Attendance and Grades
In order to motivate student performance, a school district in Fort Worth, Texas, gave a 2011 Chevrolet Camaro to a student who demonstrated excellent attendance records and grades. Here’s how the game worked:
The names of 25 lucky students were drawn at the district’s TV studio. Students earned tickets throughout the year based on their academic performance. Better attendance and higher grades meant more chances to win.
Kenzie Deaton won the car. But she’s only 14, so she’ll have to wait a while before she can legally drive it.
(Link | Via)
Wanted Man Turns Himself In For Reward
Taliban commander Mohammad Ashan saw his face on a wanted poster and noted the reward was $100. So he grabbed a poster and went to a police checkpoint in the district of Sar Howza, Afghanistan, where he demanded the reward. Officials arrested him instead. He was wanted for plotting attacks on Afghan security forces.
When U.S. troops went to confirm that Ashan had in fact come forward to claim the finder’s fee, they were initially incredulous. “We asked him, ‘Is this you?’ Mohammad Ashan answered with an incredible amount of enthusiasm, ‘Yes, yes, that’s me! Can I get my award now?’” recalled SPC Matthew Baker. A biometric scan confirmed that the man in Afghan custody was the insurgent they had been looking for. “This guy is the Taliban equivalent of the “Home Alone” burglars,” one U.S. official said.
(Link | Via)
World’s Most Generous Boss Gives a $15 Million Reward to Employees
An Australian boss has stunned his staff by giving them a staggering $15 million in bonuses as a thank you for their service. Ken Grenda and his sons gave the cash rewards to almost 2,000 employees after the sale of their 66-year-old Melbourne-based bus company, Grenada Corp. Some employees were so shocked by the gesture that they called their banks to ask if there had been a mistake in their statements. The bonuses, averaging $8,500, were based on the length of service. Some workers received $30,000 to $100,000 each. The Grenda family had raked in $400m after selling the company to Ventura, another transport company in 2011.
(Link | Via)
PETA Offers $1 Million Prize for Lab-Grown Meat
No stranger to controversy and publicity stunts, PETA is back – and this time, the animal rights group is putting money where its mouth is: PETA is offering a $1 million reward to the first scientist to produce, and bring to market, lab-grown meat.
Scientists around the world are researching or seeking funds to research ways to produce meat in the laboratory—without killing any animals. In vitro meat production would use animal stem cells that would be placed in a medium to grow and reproduce. The result would mimic flesh and could be cooked and eaten. Some promising steps have been made toward this technology, but we’re still several years away from having in vitro meat be available to the general public.
Would you eat lab-grown meat?
(Link | Via | Photo)
The Group Of Prisoners Who Won A Trip as a Prize But Couldn’t Use It 
A group of prisoners was thrilled when they won first prize in a national reading contest. But then they realized they would not be able to claim their reward – a trip to Scotland. Instead the 12, who won the Penguin/Orange Reading Group prize, were visited by author Nick Hornby at High Down prison in Surrey, England.
They will also pocket £200 worth of books. The second-placed team from the Isle of Islay Book Group was given first prize – an all-expense-paid trip to the Edinburgh Book Festival which starts next week.
(Link)
Buy a truck and get a free AK47
by Mohammed Mirza on Today 4/27/2012
0 votes
Not a reward as such but only something that would happen in America….
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NEW YORK — Last week, popular Chinese restaurant Wu’s Diamond Garden received a strange call from outside of their delivery area… way outside.
“They ordered 30 quarts of Clams and Loofa Soup, 20 Fried Wontons, 50 orders of Fishy in Scallion Sauce, and a carton of white rice,” said Diamond Garden employee Joy Luk.
“Then they asked us to deliver it to Lunar Base Beta on the Moon’s far side, apartment number 20000023. I assumed it was someone playing a joke and hung up.”
However, a half hour later there was a deafening noise in the parking lot be- hind the restaurant. Luk went outside to investigate and got the surprise of her life. “A small spaceship landed in the parking
lot, flattening some garbage cans and my Camry,” said Luk. “The door slid open and a small alien with large oval eyes emerged.”
The extraterrestrial apologized for the unusual phone call, and the dam- age, and explained that he was part of a Martian settlement on our Moon. His people had sampled Chinese food while visiting Earth and brought back leftovers, which had run out. Fortunately, they had a menu and wanted us to deliver.
“I explained to the Martian that we couldn’t deliver to the moon, that Earth didn’t have the technology,” said Luk. “Besides, we couldn’t afford to have one of our delivery people away for so long.”
The Martian had a simple solution: He offered Luk a mini spacecraft to make the deliveries.
“He said the two-ion driver was easy to fly and would make the round trip in under an hour,” Luk said. “He also said we could use the ship for our other deliveries the rest of the time. I agreed to his terms.”
When asked why she didn’t simply open a restaurant on the moon, she re- plied, “I wouldn’t run a place with no atmosphere.”
WWN requested a follow-up story, but Luk was unavailable for comment. Owner Wu claimed to “not know what we were talking about,” and to “please not come here anymore.”
Popularity: 3% [?]
Article source: http://weeklyworldnews.com/topstory/47323/strange-takeout/
That was a great little video. I was hoping you would have added some kind of filter to make R2D2 look a little more sinister at the end instead of just the footage from the film, but I really have no right to give critique… I wouldn’t be able to even splice the footage together, let alone so perfectly. Great Idea, Great job, and like Shawn said, not even close to what I was expecting.. it was so much more. I second his Well Done!!!
Popularity: 2% [?]
Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/5qa3y4Hbnw8/video_18410_a-star-wars-reboot-people-would-actually-watch.html
That was a great little video. I was hoping you would have added some kind of filter to make R2D2 look a little more sinister at the end instead of just the footage from the film, but I really have no right to give critique… I wouldn’t be able to even splice the footage together, let alone so perfectly. Great Idea, Great job, and like Shawn said, not even close to what I was expecting.. it was so much more. I second his Well Done!!!
Popularity: 2% [?]
Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/5qa3y4Hbnw8/video_18410_a-star-wars-reboot-people-would-actually-watch.html
Maria Trotter
Popularity: 2% [?]
Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/theonion/daily/~3/jPw_shoc0Qw/
… a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
Popularity: 2% [?]
Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/wC8sG8SSsMY/video_18408_every-youtube-response-video-ever.html
… a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
Popularity: 2% [?]
Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/wC8sG8SSsMY/video_18408_every-youtube-response-video-ever.html
NEW ZEALAND – A commercially developed jetpack, The Martin, is ready for liftoff!
The first commercially developed jetpack, The Martin jetpack, is ready for mass production and will soon be released to the public. The City of Los Angeles has already ordered 10,000 jetpacks for its police, paramedics and fire department. “We’ll all be flying around L.A. soon,” said Mayor Antonio Villaragoisa. “And it’s another great tool for law enforcement.”
The LAPD is in the process of hiring over 1,000 Law Enforcement Jet Pack Officers. They have begun training them out near Joshua Tree National Park.
Jetpacks are real, and you’ll be able to buy one in two months!
The Martin Jetpack is reusable and while it is a bit pricey, and a little bit bulky, they are worth it. Soon you will be able to strap on your jetpack and liftoff for work.
You strap it on, you fly.  It’s that simple. “They developed it so even the dumbest among us can use it,” said aerospace engineer, Todd Cox. “Cars will be in the dustbin of history soon enough.”
The jetpack was developed by the Martin Aircraft Company which was founded in 1998 and operates out of New Zealand. The Martin Aircraft Company was founded by Glenn Neal Martin, not to be confused with Glenn Luther Martin, whose “Glenn L. Martin Companyâ€� became the “Martinâ€� in “Lockheed Martin.”  My favorite Martins!
The Martin jetpack can carry a person up to 8000 feet in the sky or the 31.5 miles distance that travelling at the maximum regulated speed of 63 mph will take you. With a full tank of gas, that would last roughly 30 minutes, although Martin Aircraft expects that to improve as the manufacturing process becomes more efficient. They are working on a second model that can take you to the moon. That’s a few years off…
The jetpack is convenient for locations where parking might be an issue. Standing 5 feet tall by 5.5 feet wide, with a length of 5ft. And if you use stack parking, experts predict you can put about 20 in your driveway. Meet the Jetsons!
Many of the specs for the jetpack are regulated by FAA restrictions, including the 5 gallon fuel tank and the areas that the vehicle can legally operate. The FAA does not require that users- who will almost certainly be referred to by owners as “pilots�, or “rocketeers�- will however need to file a flight plan before ripping off into the heavens. How the police or an FAA official would be able to catch pilots that fail to file a flight plan is unknown, but odds are they would find a way.
Currently the Martin jetpack is classified as a recreational vehicle, but it is restricted to non-urban airspaces for individuals – at the moment. Laws will have to be changed and amended to deal with the onslaught of jetpacks and rocketeers.
The price at the moment is $100,000, but the company hopes to bring the cost down dramatically in the near future.
Do you hate traffic? Do you want to fly?
Then strap it on, baby!
Popularity: 3% [?]
Article source: http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/23186/the-jetpack-is-here/
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