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	<title>Afro-Squad Online Men&#039;s Magazine &#187; Satire</title>
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	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 08 Feb 2012 09:18:16 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>The 7 Most Annoying Hidden Agendas on the Internet</title>
		<link>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/the-7-most-annoying-hidden-agendas-on-the-internet/</link>
		<comments>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/the-7-most-annoying-hidden-agendas-on-the-internet/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Feb 2012 09:18:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrazyMan Knievel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Source Is Cracked]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/the-7-most-annoying-hidden-agendas-on-the-internet/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<input type="hidden" id="wppa_nonce" name="wppa_nonce" value="3bf3fdc76a" /><script type="text/javascript">wppa_bgcolor_img = "#eeeeee";wppa_popup_nolink = false;wppa_fadein_after_fadeout = false;wppa_animation_speed = 600;wppa_imgdir = "http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/wp-photo-album-plus/images/";wppa_auto_colwidth = false;wppa_thumbnail_area_delta = 9;wppa_textframe_delta = 179;wppa_box_delta = 16;wppa_ss_timeout = 2500;wppa_preambule = 3;wppa_thumbnail_pitch = 104;wppa_filmstrip_margin = 2;wppa_filmstrip_area_delta = 60;wppa_film_show_glue = true;wppa_slideshow = "Slideshow";wppa_start = "Start";wppa_stop = "Stop";wppa_photo = "Photo";wppa_of = "of";wppa_prevphoto = "Prev.&nbsp;photo";wppa_nextphoto = "Next&nbsp;photo";wppa_username = "38.107.179.230";wppa_rating_once = false;</script>There are a lot of unspoken (and spoken) no-nos on the Internet, like attention whoring, spamming, bragging and disliking Christopher Nolan&#8217;s Batman movies. As more people catch on to these rules, it doesn&#8217;t make the behavior go away, it just makes people more sneaky. Here&#8217;s some ways people try to get their spamming and whining [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<section class="BlogContent">
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<p>There are a lot of unspoken (and spoken) no-nos on the Internet, like attention whoring, spamming, bragging and disliking Christopher Nolan&#8217;s <a href="http://www.cracked.com/funny-5627-batman-vs.-superman/" title="batman" class="stronglinks" target="_blank">Batman</a> movies. As more people catch on to these rules, it doesn&#8217;t make the behavior go away, it just makes people more sneaky.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s some ways people try to get their spamming and whining and self-promotion past your defenses:</p>
<h2 class="subheading">#7. Mysterious Facebook Updates</h2>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115354_v1.jpg" width="610" height="150" /></p>
<p>Have you ever seen a friend suddenly post a mysterious, unexplained update on Facebook along the lines of &#8220;I don&#8217;t know why I bother to try to help people. <img src='http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif' alt=':-(' class='wp-smiley' /> &#8221; or &#8220;*sigh*&#8221;? <a target="c" href="http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2011/10/13/national-pet-peeve-week-facebook-friends/?tsp=1">Some people call it vaguebooking</a>.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115353_v1.jpg" width="407" height="155" /><br /><a target="c" href="http://failbook.failblog.org/tag/vaguebooking/">Failbook</a> has a category devoted to this.</p>
<p>Why do they do this? Maybe they are just poor communicators who expect people to read minds. More often, this is a &#8220;teaser&#8221; statement designed to pique your interest in a boring story about their lives you would normally ignore. Some people will fall into their trap and ask, &#8220;What&#8217;s wrong?&#8221; and the poster can dump his or her story on those people without feeling guilty because, well, they asked!</p>
<p>Did you ever have to do book reports in grade school? Remember how you were never supposed to tell people how it ended? &#8220;Will the Hardy Boys manage to find the criminal before their friends are dissolved in a vat of acid? Read the book and find out!&#8221;</p>
<p>By the time we grow up, we learn it&#8217;s not good to be that transparent and say, &#8220;How did my attempt to help someone backfire on me today? Send me a sympathetic message and find out!&#8221; so we layer it under a bit more subtlety.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115352_v1.jpg" width="340" height="154" /><br />Another from <a target="c" href="http://failbook.failblog.org/tag/vaguebooking/">Failbook</a>.</p>
<p>You could just be honest and say, &#8220;I had a crappy day and need someone to talk to. Message me if you&#8217;ve got some time.&#8221; But this approach fell flat in our focus groups, far behind more proven marketing techniques like offering to enter the listener into a sweepstakes for every minute they listen to you, or promising a surprise guest, or just vaguebooking.</p>
<p>I, for one, would prefer a return to the more direct sensationalism of our youth. &#8220;How was my co-worker unfair to me today, and did I end up dissolving her in a vat of acid? Anyone who wants to know, please send me a message.&#8221; People who don&#8217;t want to hear your story don&#8217;t feel obligated or manipulated, and people who do will also get an exciting fictional epilogue about a close call with acid, which is the least you can do to pay them back for their time.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115355_v1.jpg" width="200" height="200" /><br />&#8220;And when I finished, this was all that was left of him.&#8221;</p>
<h2 class="subheading">#6. Secret Socrates</h2>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115357.jpg" width="610" height="150" /></p>
<p>You probably know there&#8217;s a lot of militant people on the Internet pushing for unpopular things, like white supremacy, turning the clock back on women&#8217;s rights, abolishing all religion, converting everyone to their religion, being more accepting of pedophilia/dog (CENSORED)ing, appreciating <i>Cars 2</i>, etc.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115359_v1.jpg" width="200" height="150" /><br />I was going to say <i>Delgo</i>, but no one&#8217;s seen that.</p>
<p>The people who push these things know they get yelled at when they bring them up, but they don&#8217;t accept that this is because they are wrong and their ideas are awful and that <i>Cars 2</i> was deservedly left off the Oscar nomination list. They think that it&#8217;s a taboo subject that people have a &#8220;knee-jerk&#8221; reaction to, and if they just approach it a little bit sideways, and people don&#8217;t realize they&#8217;re talking about dog (CENSORED)ing or segregating black people at first, they&#8217;ll be able to get them to think more &#8220;open-mindedly&#8221; about the subject, once they&#8217;ve cleared them of silly cultural preconceptions like racism being bad.</p>
<p>Instead of starting out with &#8220;Don&#8217;t you agree that black people have lower IQs and are best suited for physical labor?&#8221; they try to avoid setting off any alarms by framing it as a discussion about genetics and evolution, opening with &#8220;Everyone agrees that genetics have at least <i>some</i> effect on different traits, such as intelligence, right?&#8221; If you say yes, they hope to lead you, like some kind of Socrates, through the steps of what they believe is a clear and logical pathway toward realizing that black people should be put in a warrior caste.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115358.jpg" width="160" height="200" /><br />Which doesn&#8217;t make any sense, since the Ultimate Warrior is clearly white.</p>
<p>Or they might post a link to a new study or book and say, &#8220;This guy sure has some controversial things to say about race and intelligence. I don&#8217;t know what to make of it myself! What do you guys think?&#8221; Once people start debunking the study, the original poster starts to &#8220;play devil&#8217;s advocate,&#8221; in a friendly way at first, saying, &#8220;Yeah, that sure is an extreme point he is making! But I think there is some truth to it and we can&#8217;t ignore the whole thing. Like this part &#8230;&#8221; As you debunk that, he will get more frustrated and eventually openly argue for whatever the article says. Keep it going long enough and he will just snap and pretty much start making Nazi salutes and reciting <i>Mein Kampf</i>.</p>
<p>This person is imagining himself as Socrates, leading you wisely through a bunch of questions to discover the truth (which means whatever he is pushing) for yourself. What he is actually doing is playing King of the Mountain without telling anyone else that they&#8217;re playing. He gets up on the mountain and invites people to come climb because he &#8220;wants to see other people&#8217;s climbing techniques.&#8221; Then, as you start climbing and showing him your footholds and such, he kicks you in the face and starts knocking all the other climbers off, and they&#8217;re just as surprised as you were.</p>
<p>See, you can feel like you are &#8220;winning&#8221; an argument if you are the only one arguing and everyone else is just casually trying to help you answer the question you claimed to innocently need help with, in the same way you can &#8220;win&#8221; a fight if you ask someone to help you fix your computer and you stab him in the back while he looks at it. It doesn&#8217;t make them wrong or a sucker, it makes you a dishonest (CENSORED).</p>
<h2 class="subheading">#5. Bragging</h2>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115362_v1.jpg" width="610" height="150" /></p>
<p>There is a whole Twitter account devoted to picking out <a target="c" href="https://twitter.com/humblebrag">humblebragging</a> tweets, where people make excuses to brag about themselves. A couple of examples:</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115351.jpg" width="512" height="106" /></p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115350.jpg" width="494" height="109" /></p>
<p>As you can see, a lot of self-absorption can be done in a 140-word standalone remark. With access to the interactivity and length of a forum thread format, people have a lot of other options available, though.</p>
<p>In a tweet, you can tell people you&#8217;re worried you&#8217;ve been boning too many women, but on a forum thread, you can go into detail about the sex and about how guilty you feel that all these women won&#8217;t leave you alone, copy and paste some text from a sex addiction website to make it sound like you&#8217;re seriously considering this as a psychological problem and pretend you&#8217;ve told everyone this so you can get valuable advice from them. And if you do get any advice, you can go into even more details!</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115365.jpg" width="301" height="200" /><br />&#8220;I&#8217;ve also noticed that 21 out of the last 22 women I&#8217;ve slept with have been white. Do you think I might be a racist?&#8221;</p>
<p>On a gaming forum, you can ask for &#8220;help&#8221; beating the final boss on Legendary or Extreme or Insane mode or whatever, six hours after the release of the game. Or a car enthusiasts&#8217; forum: &#8220;The Mazda 3 is listed as having a curb weight of 2,969 lbs. but I was able to lift mine easily the other day. I&#8217;m wondering if the dealer ripped me off, and some of the parts might be missing?&#8221;</p>
<p>I have to say that making these up can be fairly addicting. I suggest having a contest to come up with these in your particular Internet community. It can be pretty discouraging for someone to come in and try to pull it off when there&#8217;s a posted fake example of the very tactic they&#8217;re about to try. We had a game on the Cracked forums a while ago. This was my entry:</p>
<p><i>Hey guys. My dog threw up today and I am worried it might have bulimia. I really need some advice from you guys because I don&#8217;t know a lot about bulimia, since I have a naturally perfect figure. All the boys always tell me I am very good looking, but I don&#8217;t know if I believe them. I feel like I&#8217;m really ugly. I bet you guys would probably think I&#8217;m ugly, too. If you go to my website here, there are some pictures of me wearing a bikini, so you can see for yourself how ugly I am! LOL! I think the problem might be that my <a href="http://www.cracked.com/funny-212-boobs/" title="boobs" class="stronglinks" target="_blank">boobs</a> are too big. It makes me feel fat sometimes. I have thought about taking up bulimia actually, but after seeing my dog throw up today, I was so traumatized that I&#8217;ve changed my mind.</i></p>
<p><i />
<p><i>Anyway, so my question is, can dogs have bulimia? What should I do? If it helps, I have some pictures of the dog. That&#8217;s me in the bikini holding it. Sorry I&#8217;m so ugly!</i></p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115366_v1.jpg" width="200" height="196" /><br />&#8220;And here&#8217;s another picture of my dog!&#8221;</p>
<h2 class="subheading">#4. &#8220;I Just Found &#8230;&#8221;</h2>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/19556_115361.jpg" width="610" height="150" /></p>
<p>Everybody&#8217;s got a blog or a web comic or a Twitter account these days (or has a friend with one), so pretty much everybody is familiar with the temptation to flog your crap wherever you go. Most of us have the sense and consideration to tamp down this instinct and confine our self-promotion to appropriate times and places. Otherwise, the Internet would be filled with a million advertisements for blogs and YouTube videos, blotting out any actual content people would like to read.</p>
<p>The more self-centered among us, however, feel that they deserve to spam their shit more than anyone else does, which means they eschew &#8220;promote your blog here&#8221; areas and try to sneak links to their terrible work into general interest areas by pretending they &#8220;just found&#8221; this brilliant video or web comic, or are &#8220;wondering what people think&#8221; about this &#8220;funny&#8221; blog article.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/4022a_115367.jpg" width="157" height="200" /><br />&#8220;Pardon me, good sir! I just stumbled across a marvelous play called <i>Hamlet</i>.&#8221;</p>
<p>Usually, one big clue is the number of views something has. If someone links a nine-view YouTube video they &#8220;just found,&#8221; it&#8217;s pretty safe to say they &#8220;found&#8221; it by clicking on the link after their upload was complete. Another hint is the fresh, never-posted-before sock-puppet accounts that often follow the initial link, posting, &#8220;Great stuff! I liked (terrible part)!&#8221;</p>
<p>Probably one of the best examples of this is a fellow known as Douche Quadbike, or Ben Ryan Metzger, a guy who was desperate to star in the new <i>Captain America</i> movie despite his tragic handicap of <a target="c" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkdqgLJMSWQfeature=watch_response">being unable to act</a>. Before coming up with the strategy of making a video of himself as Captain America, a brilliant idea that would take years to formulate, he went at his goal by making a video where he rode an ATV and pushed around some tires and bales of hay to spell some woman&#8217;s name for some reason. Hey, he&#8217;s an actor, not a writer.</p>
<p>He visited about a million forums and posted this same exact post:</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/4022a_115349_v1.jpg" /></p>
<p>The funniest part is that no human being would be moved to tears by that video, except maybe tears of laughter. Unfortunately, after being laughed at by the entire Internet, he finally took the video private, but you can see the whole thing here, with a better soundtrack by Sanchez:</p>
<p />
<p>And here&#8217;s the techno remix:</p>
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</section>
<p>Article source: <a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/XH9Hq0bHaeM/">http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/XH9Hq0bHaeM/</a></p></p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/?ak_action=api_record_view&id=5907&type=feed" alt="" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>10 of The Worst Parents Ever</title>
		<link>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/10-of-the-worst-parents-ever/</link>
		<comments>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/10-of-the-worst-parents-ever/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:17:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cha Cha Brown</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Source is the Oddee]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/10-of-the-worst-parents-ever/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Published on Today 2/7/2012 under Strange People &#8211; by Gracie Murano - 28,034 views The mother who gave her 7-year-old daughter a boob job as a birthday gift Sarah Burge, the self-declared “Human Barbie” most famous for spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on cosmetic surgery, has reached a new low in parenting. For her [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><i><br />
Published on <b>Today</b> 2/7/2012<br />
under Strange People<br />
 &#8211; by Gracie Murano<br />
- 28,034 views</i></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/a07df_top1.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> The mother who gave her 7-year-old daughter a boob job as a birthday gift</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/66c20_a98067_bad-parent_6-boob-job.jpg" alt="The mother who gave her 7-year-old daughter a boob job as a birthday gift" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Sarah Burge, the self-declared “Human Barbie” most famous for spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on cosmetic surgery, has reached a new low in parenting. For her daughter Poppy‘s 7th birthday, she has given her a $10,000 voucher for breast augmentation surgery.
<p>“Poppy begged me for a boob job, so I gave her the voucher so she can have it after she&#8217;s 16, when it&#8217;s legal. If she develops naturally big boobs, she can have something else done with it,” Burge, 50, says. “I can&#8217;t wait to be like Mummy with big boobs. They&#8217;re pretty,” adds Poppy.</p>
<p>Oh, and she is also teaching her daughter how to pole dance.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2081674/Poppy-Burge-gets-liposuction-voucher-Human-Barbie-mum-Sarah-Christmas.html" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://mommyish.com/stuff/happy-7th-birthday-my-gift-to-you-is-a-boob-job/" target="_blank">Via</a>)</p>
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/66c20_top2.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> The mother who returned adopted son to Russia</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/e979c_a98067_bad-parent_5-returned-russian.jpg" alt="The mother who returned adopted son to Russia" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Russia threatened to suspend all child adoptions by U.S. families after a seven-year-old boy, adopted by a woman from Tennessee, was sent alone on a one-way flight back to Moscow, with a note saying he was violent and had severe psychological problems. The boy, Artyom Savelyev, was put on a plane by his adoptive grandmother.
<p>In Tennessee, authorities were investigating the adoptive mother, Torry Hansen, 33. According to her, the child was mentally unstable, violent and had severe psychopathic issues. &#8220;After giving my best to this child, I am sorry to say that for the safety of my family, friends and myself, I no longer wish to parent this child.&#8221;</p>
<p>The family had paid a man $200 to pick the boy up at the airport in Moscow and take him to the Russian Education and Science Ministry. She said it wasn&#8217;t child abandonment because a stewardess was watching Artyom on the flight and a reputable person picked him up in Russia.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2010/04/09/russia-adoption-tennessee.html" target="_blank">Link</a>)</p>
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/e979c_top3.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> The kid who starved to death as parents were raising a virtual child</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/3412f_a98067_bad-parent_4-virtual-baby.jpg" alt="The kid who starved to death as parents were raising a virtual child" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
A South Korean couple was arrested after their three-month-old infant girl died of starvation. The infant was left unattended at home while the couple spent hours at internet cafes raising a virtual child named Anima.
<p>The couple seemed to have lost their will to live a normal life because they didn&#8217;t have jobs and gave birth to a premature baby. They indulged themselves in the online game of raising a virtual character so as to escape from reality, which led to the death of their real baby. The couple fled to the wife&#8217;s parents&#8217; house in Yangju, Gyeonggi province, but were picked up later. The case has shocked South Korea and once again, highlighted obsessive behavior related to the internet.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://digital.asiaone.com/Digital/News/Story/A1Story20100305-202607.html" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.neatorama.com/upcoming/post/Infant-starves-to-death-as-parents-raise-virtual-child" target="_blank">Via</a>)</p>
<p></p>
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<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/3412f_top4.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> The mother who set up a fight between her daughter and classmate to settle a beef</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/07e4a_a98067_bad-parent_9-fight.jpg" alt="The mother who set up a fight between her daughter and classmate to settle a beef" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
A Florida mom was arrested after she set up a fight between her daughter and another teenage girl to settle a beef. Apparently, Sandra Padilla Miranda asked her daughter&#8217;s enemy to come to their Orlando-area apartment complex after school so the girls could fight. Once the opponent arrived, a large crowd gathered and the two, ages 14 and 17, started throwing punches. The fisticuffs were recorded by an unknown person and posted on Facebook.
<p>Throughout the fight Sandra repeatedly yelled in Spanish, ‘Hit harder&#8217;. She also allegedly told her daughter to bite her opponent. When first confronted about the incident, Miranda claimed two guys held her back to keep her from breaking up the fight. When video evidence proved that wrong, Miranda told police that she was in fear that her daughter and the other girl would continue to fight in school, so she wanted it settled.</p>
<p>Miranda was charged with child abuse and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Both girls were suspended from Boone High School in Orlando.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/florida-mom-charged-setting-fight-daughter-amp-classmate-article-1.1012931#ixzz1kx3LwRVQ" target="_blank">Link</a>)</p>
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/07e4a_top5.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> The pageant mom who gave Botox to her 8-year-old daughter</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/de6a1_a98067_bad-parent_2-botox.jpg" alt="The pageant mom who gave Botox to her 8-year-old daughter" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
A British woman living in San Francisco, California, says she injects her eight-year-old daughter with Botox to “get rid of her wrinkles.” 34-year-old Kerry Campbell does this to help her daughter Britney “keep up” in the insanely competitive world of child beauty pageants. Kerry says Britney is used to the painful injections of the bacterial botulinum toxin, which can cause some pretty nasty side effects, although the little girl did admit that she used to cry when first given the shots.
<p>Note: the mother later came out and admitted that the whole story was a hoax, and she was paid by the British tabloid &#8220;The Sun&#8221; to fake the story.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/blogs/yahoo-lifestyles/mother-gives-botox-injections-her-eight-old-daughter-184941192.html" target="_blank">Link</a>)</p>
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/de6a1_top6.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> The parents who tried to pimp their daughter in exchange for a minivan</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/15408_a98067_bad-parent_7-mini-van-pimp.jpg" alt="The parents who tried to pimp their daughter in exchange for a minivan" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
A central Georgia couple pleaded guilty to having their 14-year-old daughter engage in sex with a man so that they would not have to make monthly payments on their secondhand minivan. Sandra Davis, 37, of Dodge County, pleaded guilty to child molestation and was sentenced to eight years in prison on Monday. Davis did not physically abuse her daughter, but she did admit to encouraging her to trade sex for the van payments.
<p>Davis&#8217; husband, James Davis, 39, and used-car salesman Robert Bearden, 67, both pleaded guilty to molestation. They were sentenced to 10 years in prison and 10 years&#8217; probation.</p>
<p>The Davises and Bearden were arrested in March 2010 after authorities learned of the car-payment arrangement during the course of an unrelated investigation. The Davises had their daughter do &#8220;sexual favors&#8221; for Bearden, then manager of Shorty&#8217;s Used Cars in Eastman, so they would not have to make their monthly payments of $281 on the 1998 Dodge Caravan they had bought.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.macon.com/2011/03/02/1470613/3-get-prison-in-dodge-sex-case.html" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.aolnews.com/2011/03/02/georgia-parents-pimped-teen-daughter-for-minivan-payments/" target="_blank">Via</a>)</p>
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/15408_top7.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> The drunken dad who let his eight-year-old take the wheel</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/8323b_a98067_boy.jpg" alt="The drunken dad who let his eight-year-old take the wheel" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Billy Joe Madden, a Mississippi dad, decided to let his eight-year-old son drive their car on the interstate so that he could take a nap, while his four-year-old sat in the backseat… without a seat belt. The least surprising part of this story is that the father was intoxicated when he made this awesome decision.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.fox8live.com/news/local/story/Man-arrested-for-allowing-8-year-old-to-drive/OQrN1PHuBUud2QVQ2ewcrw.cspx" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://mommyish.com/stuff/drunken-dad-lets-his-eight-year-old-take-the-wheel/" target="_blank">Via</a>)
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/8323b_top8.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> The parent who made his teenage daughter fight with a sword and armor as medieval punishment</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/ab2f3_a98067_bad-parent_8-miedval.jpg" alt="The parent who made his teenage daughter fight with a sword and armor as medieval punishment" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Did your teenage child go to a party without your permission? Send her to her room &#8230; to fetch the armor, and then make her fight you with a wooden sword as her (medieval) punishment! That&#8217;s what one Seattle, Washington, father did; according to police, the teen was forced to dress in armor and fight Fremon Seay with a wooden sword for two hours. Police also said Seay punched, and beat his stepdaughter with a tree branch, prior to the duel. Investigators said she collapsed from exhaustion.
<p>The couple told officers they punished the teen for going to a party without their permission. Investigators learned the couple is part of a group of Renaissance enthusiasts, who recreate fights from the medieval era. Officers said the parents told them it was their right to discipline their child however they saw fit.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44943326/ns/local_news-seattle_wa/#.TyVXofnnuvJ" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.neatorama.com/2011/10/18/parent-made-teenage-daughter-fight-with-sword-and-armor-as-medieval-punishment/" target="_blank">Via</a>)</p>
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/ab2f3_top9.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> The fighting parents who forgot their kid in a parking lot</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/4aaad_a98067_bad-parent_3-parking-lot.jpg" alt="The fighting parents who forgot their kid in a parking lot" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
A feuding couple forgot their 8-month old baby boy in a parking lot and headed out separately.  It wasn&#8217;t until the mother arrived home that she realized that the father didn&#8217;t have him either. Little Ezra Isiah Reyes was left in an E. 161st St. parking lot after each parent thought the other had him. “He wasn&#8217;t even strapped in,” said Lorenzo Carse, 23, a street vendor who found the boy in his stroller. “He was sitting in the sun, on the hot concrete. The little guy was a bit dehydrated, but otherwise fine.
<p>The police say it was parental confusion.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/parents-leave-baby-bronx-parking-lot-arguing-article-1.449936" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.neatorama.com/neatobambino/2010/05/29/fighting-parents-forget-baby-in-parking-lot/" target="_blank">Via</a>)</p>
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/4aaad_top10.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> The mother who made son wear embarrassing sign on streets for low GPA</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/e2884_a98067_bad-parent_10-gpa-sign.jpg" alt="The mother who made son wear embarrassing sign on streets for low GPA" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Ronda Holder is so disappointed with her son&#8217;s poor academic performance that she&#8217;s resorted to shaming the 15-year-old on the streets of their Tampa Bay, Florida, neighborhood. Holder said the last straw was when her son, James Mond III, failed even his P.E. class. That&#8217;s when she made a sign detailing Mond&#8217;s abysmal grade point average—1.22—and forced the boy to walk up and down on a busy street corner for hours on end.
<p>Neither Holder nor her husband graduated high school, but she says she wants better education for her son, who she says seems to have no interest in academic achievement.</p>
<p>The sign stated:<br /><i> &#8220;I DID 4 Questions on my F-Cat AND Said I Wasn&#8217;t Going to Do it!&#8221; said the sign, written in black marker on a large piece of paper hanging around the 15-year-old&#8217;s neck. &#8220;GPA 1.22&#8230; Honk if I NEED [an] Education.&#8221; </i><br />(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.good.is/post/this-mom-is-making-her-son-wear-a-sign-with-his-terrible-gpa-on-it/" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.neatorama.com/2011/07/12/mom-made-son-wear-sign-on-streets-for-low-gpa/" target="_blank">Via</a>)</p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/573c8_Contribs.gif" /></p>
<p>	<img border="0" src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/573c8_c14886_min.jpg" /><big><b>Mother forced her 3 year old to smoke and drink beer.</b></big><br />by <b>Spafil</b> on <b>Today</b> 2/7/2012<br /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/9aee4_RatingStarEmpty.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="0" /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/9aee4_RatingStarEmpty.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="0" /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/9aee4_RatingStarEmpty.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="0" /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/9aee4_RatingStarEmpty.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="0" /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/9aee4_RatingStarEmpty.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="0" />0 votes <br /><i>A 35 year old woman from Malmo in Sweden forced her 3 year old son to smoke and drink beer as her fr(&#8230;)</i><br /><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/article14331850.ab">(Source)</a><span>Have a great addition to the article? <b>Contribute!</b></span></p>
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<big>If you enjoyed this article, you might also like&#8230;</big><br /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/730f0_a97686_min2.jpg" width="50" hspace="10" vspace="15" align="absmiddle" />10 of The Worst Teachers Ever</p>
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<p>Article source: <a href="http://www.oddee.com/item_98067.aspx">http://www.oddee.com/item_98067.aspx</a></p></p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/?ak_action=api_record_view&id=5905&type=feed" alt="" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Indianapolis Colts Somehow Wind Up With Exact Same Coaching Staff</title>
		<link>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/indianapolis-colts-somehow-wind-up-with-exact-same-coaching-staff/</link>
		<comments>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/indianapolis-colts-somehow-wind-up-with-exact-same-coaching-staff/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:17:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cha Cha Brown</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Source is The Onion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/indianapolis-colts-somehow-wind-up-with-exact-same-coaching-staff/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Indianapolis Colts Somehow Wind Up With Exact Same Coaching Staff 02.07.12 Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/theonion/daily/~3/4Y9Ny7nxSCk/]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="lettercontent newswire">
      <span class="start_quote"></span><br />
      <span class="entry"><br />
        Indianapolis Colts Somehow Wind Up With Exact Same Coaching Staff<br />
        <span class="end_quote"></span><br />
      </span>
    </p>
<p class="date">02.07.12</p>
<p>Article source: <a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/theonion/daily/~3/4Y9Ny7nxSCk/">http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/theonion/daily/~3/4Y9Ny7nxSCk/</a></p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/?ak_action=api_record_view&id=5906&type=feed" alt="" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Worst Break-Up Excuse Ever</title>
		<link>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/worst-break-up-excuse-ever/</link>
		<comments>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/worst-break-up-excuse-ever/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Feb 2012 09:15:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrazyMan Knievel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Source Is Cracked]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Congratulations Mark Hill for winning this month&#8217;s Cracked Sketch Writing Competition. We&#8217;re now taking submissions for this month&#8217;s contest. Your prompt: Going the extra mile for a promotion. By: Cracked Sketch Competition &#124; 112 Comments Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/IkbvvtfdAW0/video_18374_worst-break-up-excuse-ever.html]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<section class="body FLC">
<p />
<p>Congratulations Mark Hill for winning this month&#8217;s <a href="http://www.cracked.com/sketch-competition.html">Cracked Sketch Writing Competition</a>.</p>
<p>We&#8217;re now taking submissions for this month&#8217;s contest. Your prompt: <strong><a href="http://www.cracked.com/forums/index.php?topic=101726.msg2141489#msg2141489">Going the extra mile for a promotion</a></strong>.</p>
<footer class="Heading5 meta">
<address>By:<br />
																								<a href="http://www.cracked.com/members/SketchComp/">Cracked Sketch Competition</a>																						</address>
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</section>
<p>Article source: <a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/IkbvvtfdAW0/video_18374_worst-break-up-excuse-ever.html">http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/IkbvvtfdAW0/video_18374_worst-break-up-excuse-ever.html</a></p></p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/?ak_action=api_record_view&id=5904&type=feed" alt="" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>If Classic Movies Used Viral Marketing</title>
		<link>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/if-classic-movies-used-viral-marketing/</link>
		<comments>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/if-classic-movies-used-viral-marketing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2012 09:15:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrazyMan Knievel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Source Is Cracked]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Working in marketing is harder than in the past. These days, you have to trick people into thinking they&#8217;re not looking at an advertisement while making them look at an advertisement. We asked you to show us what the ads for classic movies might have looked like if it was always this complicated. The winner [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Working in marketing is harder than in the past. These days, you have to trick people into thinking they&#8217;re not looking at an advertisement while making them look at an advertisement. We asked you to show us what the ads for classic movies might have looked like if it was always this complicated. The winner is below, but first the runners up &#8230;</p>
<p>Article source: <a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/qUQAkfXwM6k/">http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/qUQAkfXwM6k/</a></p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/?ak_action=api_record_view&id=5902&type=feed" alt="" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Nation Horrified By Carolina Panthers&#8217; Disturbingly Graphic Logo Redesign</title>
		<link>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/nation-horrified-by-carolina-panthers-disturbingly-graphic-logo-redesign/</link>
		<comments>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/nation-horrified-by-carolina-panthers-disturbingly-graphic-logo-redesign/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2012 09:15:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cha Cha Brown</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Source is The Onion]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Poll: GOP Nomination Now Two-Way Race Between Mitt Romney, Total Voter Apathy Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/theonion/daily/~3/neNa81j8KGo/]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="title">
         <span><br />
           Poll: GOP Nomination Now Two-Way Race Between Mitt Romney, Total Voter Apathy<br />
         </span>
       </p>
<p>Article source: <a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/theonion/daily/~3/neNa81j8KGo/">http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/theonion/daily/~3/neNa81j8KGo/</a></p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/?ak_action=api_record_view&id=5901&type=feed" alt="" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>16 Hilarious Fence Fails</title>
		<link>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/16-hilarious-fence-fails/</link>
		<comments>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/16-hilarious-fence-fails/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2012 03:15:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cha Cha Brown</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Source is the Oddee]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Published on Today 2/5/2012 under Cool Places &#8211; by Nora Vega Um, sorry, it&#8217;s visible. (Link) (Link) Fence design fail. (Link) Gee, I wonder why. (Link) Electric fence? (Link) Security fail. (Link) Ghetto fence. (Link) Funny barbed wire fence. (Link) What do you do when a TRUCK is in the middle of your fence? Build [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><i><br />
Published on <b>Today</b> 2/5/2012<br />
under Cool Places<br />
 &#8211; by Nora Vega</p>
<p></i></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/8d9e2_a98058_ff1.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Um, sorry, it&#8217;s visible.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://failblog.org/2010/10/01/epic-fail-photos-invisible-fence-fail/" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/8d9e2_a98058_ff2.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://failblog.org/2011/02/14/epic-fail-photos-fence-fail/" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/5e7b4_a98058_ff3.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Fence design fail.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.epicfail.com/2011/09/10/fence-design-fail-2/" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/07c56_a98058_ff4.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Gee, I wonder why.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://failblog.org/2011/06/07/epic-fail-photos-oddly-specific-the-fleur-de-cul/" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/cd5ec_a98058_pf1.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /></p>
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/cd5ec_a98058_ff6.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Electric fence?<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.shipmentoffail.com/fails/2009/10/electric-fence/" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/03d0c_a98058_ff72.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Security fail.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://failblog.org/2011/06/06/epic-fail-photos-protection-fail/" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/1c3a2_a98058_ff8.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Ghetto fence.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.shwedarling.com/blog/2009/08/07/funny-picture-fence-repair-fail/" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/1c3a2_a98058_ff9.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Funny barbed wire fence.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://mlkshk.com/p/4NWQ" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/6f3db_a98058_ff10.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
What do you do when a TRUCK is in the middle of your fence? Build around it of course!!<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://failblog.org/vote/page/2711/" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/25588_a98058_ff11.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://cheezburger.com/johnthecow/lolz/View/3117447936" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/ac98b_a98058_ff12.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Do you see it too, or do I have an extremely dirty mind?<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.webfail.net/image/fence-design-fail-fail-picture.html" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/ac98b_a98058_pf3.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
No matter how tall I make the fence they still keep getting away.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://gitez.com/tag/fence" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/9114b_a98058_pf5.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://dating.failblog.org/2011/10/18/dating-fails-making-life-a-little-tougher-than-it-is/" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7a17_a98058_pf2.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Neighbours…not all of them are friendly.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://gitez.com/tag/fence" target="_blank">Link</a>)
<p></p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7a17_a98058_pf6.jpg" alt="" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Annoyed man staring at his neighbor&#8217;s hedges, which were trimmed to resemble a man mooning someone over the fence.<br />
()
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/ff2e5_Contribs.gif" /></p>
<p>	<img border="0" src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/ff2e5_c14867_min.jpg" /><big><b>Goal Fail</b></big><br />by <b>James</b> on <b>Today</b> 2/5/2012<br /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/41f7c_RatingStarFull.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="0" /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/41f7c_RatingStarFull.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="0" /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/41f7c_RatingStarFull.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="0" /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/cc1e7_RatingStarHalf.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="0" /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/6c067_RatingStarEmpty.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="0" />2 votes <br /><i>Fence built through goal.</i><span>Have a great addition to the article? <b>Contribute!</b></span></p>
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<big>If you enjoyed this article, you might also like&#8230;</big><br /><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/9d562_a98044_min2.jpg" width="50" hspace="10" vspace="15" align="absmiddle" /> 15 Most Creative Fences </p>
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<p>Article source: <a href="http://www.oddee.com/item_98058.aspx">http://www.oddee.com/item_98058.aspx</a></p></p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/?ak_action=api_record_view&id=5900&type=feed" alt="" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>19 Classic TV Shows (If They Never Got Cancelled)</title>
		<link>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/19-classic-tv-shows-if-they-never-got-cancelled/</link>
		<comments>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/19-classic-tv-shows-if-they-never-got-cancelled/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 Feb 2012 09:14:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrazyMan Knievel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Source Is Cracked]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and probably several of both and neither. I could not help notice that this article, despite purporting to center on shows that were cancelled before their time, failed to reference Firefly. I believe that this article would have been better had it featured several references to Firefly. As a long time [...]]]></description>
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<p>		<a href="http://www.cracked.com/members/JackZigler/" class="user"><br />
            <img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b699f_default_45.jpg" alt="" class="avatar" /></p>
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<p class="text">
									Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and probably several of both and neither. I could not help notice that this article, despite purporting to center on shows that were cancelled before their time, failed to reference Firefly. I believe that this article would have been better had it featured several references to Firefly. As a long time Firefly fan (or browncoat, a common term for a Firefly fan of the series Firefly), I felt this was a grave error, and that this Firefly-missing article would have been substantially improved by the addition of Firefly, as Firefly was a show of substantial quality, and I believe that Firefly my Book-esque devotion to the fine sci-fi series Firefly can only be validated by Firefly&#8217;s inclusion in an online Firefly Photoshop contFireflyest. Firefly, but Firefly. Firefly, then Firefly the Firefly my Firefly. Firefly.<br />
Incidentally, have you heard of the wonders of Control-F? It&#8217;s a special keyboard command that lets you search for words, and even tell how many times a word has been repeated! For instance, it might enable one to see when somebody has already made the same observation, oh, say, thirty-five times and counting. Truly, technology is wonderful.						</p>
<p>	<a class="Heading5 reply">Reply</a><br />
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<p>		<a href="http://www.cracked.com/members/TheChuckinator/" class="Heading5 user"><br />
		<img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b699f_default_45.jpg" alt="" class="avatar" />	</p>
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<p class="text">
									Frankly, Firefly sucks.						</p>
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<p>		<a href="http://www.cracked.com/members/OnoSendai/" class="Heading5 user"><br />
		<img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b699f_276804_45_v16.jpg" alt="" class="avatar" />	</p>
<p>		</a></p>
<p class="text">
									Wrong answer, Chuckles&#8230;						</p>
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<p>		<a href="http://www.cracked.com/members/PoppaDePooPoo/" class="Heading5 user"><br />
		<img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b699f_401155_45_v1.jpg" alt="" class="avatar" />	</p>
<p>		</a></p>
<p class="text">
									Yeah, so what about Firefly?						</p>
</li>
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<p>Article source: <a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/aHNyxOSHgXA/">http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CrackedRSS/~3/aHNyxOSHgXA/</a></p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/?ak_action=api_record_view&id=5898&type=feed" alt="" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>10 Things You Probably Didn&#8217;t Know About Sex</title>
		<link>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/10-things-you-probably-didnt-know-about-sex/</link>
		<comments>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/10-things-you-probably-didnt-know-about-sex/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Feb 2012 03:12:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cha Cha Brown</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Source is the Oddee]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Published on Today 2/3/2012 under Weird Science &#8211; by Jill Harness TAGS: sex, medicine, health, sperm, clitoris, vagina, stds Genetics Can Affect When a Person Will Lose His or Her Virginity Obviously, each person makes the individual decision of when to have sex for the first time, but recent studies show that your genetics can [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><i><br />
Published on <b>Today</b> 2/3/2012<br />
under Weird Science<br />
 &#8211; by Jill Harness</p>
<p></i><br />
<br />TAGS: sex, medicine, health, sperm, clitoris, vagina, stds</p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/764a2_top1.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> Genetics Can Affect When a Person Will Lose His or Her Virginity</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/f3958_a98061_5140170073_e8fc6648eb_z.jpg" alt="Genetics Can Affect When a Person Will Lose His or Her Virginity" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Obviously, each person makes the individual decision of when to have sex for the first time, but recent studies show that your genetics can play a role in how early you make the decision. In fact, a study of twins who were separated at birth shows that there is a strong genetic link in the age a person chooses to lose his or her virginity.<br />&#8220;It&#8217;s not like there&#8217;s a gene for having sex at a certain date,&#8221; says Nancy Segal, a psychologist at California State University in Fullerton, who led the new study. But inheritable traits such as impulsiveness do affect the decision, although social mores play a major role as well. In fact, there was less of a consistent genetic effect in twins born before 1948 than those born after 1960.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16876-genes-may-time-loss-of-virginity.html" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/e3000/5140170073/" target="_blank">Photo</a>)
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/f3958_top2.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> The Clitoris is Mostly an Internal Organ</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/36cac_a98061_picture-9.jpg" alt="The Clitoris is Mostly an Internal Organ" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
By now, most people know about the clitoris and where it is located…or at least, they know about the tip of the organ. While you might think that little bump that drives women crazy is the whole enchilada, as it turns out, that&#8217;s just the tip of the iceberg. In fact, the majority of the clitoris is located within the pelvis and, when erect, it actually wraps around the vagina –making the vagina and sex more pleasurable (for both parties) as the woman gets more excited.<br />So why does everyone think of the clitoris as only the little bump on the outside? Well, for one thing, it&#8217;s role as the visible part certainly makes it the most noticeable, but more so, researchers didn&#8217;t start to learn about the amazing expanses of the organ until they were able to view it through an MRI machine, something they couldn&#8217;t do until the 90&#8242;s. It wasn&#8217;t until 2009 that the world was introduced to a complete 3D sonogram image of the organ.<br />Of course, the little bump we&#8217;re all familiar with is pretty darn important. In fact, it has over 8,000 nerve fibers –more than twice the number found in the head of a penis.<br />(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/" target="_blank">Photo</a>)
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/36cac_top3.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> Sperm is Surprisingly Nutritious</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7531_a98061_4297352054_47edb2223b_z.jpg" alt="Sperm is Surprisingly Nutritious" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
At around 15 calories per “serving,” sperm contains the same protein as the white of a large egg, along with vitamin C, calcium, magnesium, potassium, vitamin B12 and zinc. Sure, it might not be as healthy as a multi-vitamin, but few vitamins come with such pleasurable effects.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_100/117b_love_answers.html#ixzz1dktiHDD4" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/yeknom02/4297352054/" target="_blank">Photo</a>)
<p></p>
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/9f818_top4.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> Sex Can Help You Stay Healthy</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/9f818_a98061_4021592558_1b6cbee01d_z.jpg" alt="Sex Can Help You Stay Healthy" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Having sex once or twice a week can actually boost your immune system, as it increases the levels of immunoglobulin A in the body. Immunoglobulin A is an antibody that lives in your saliva and mucous linings that helps stop colds and flu before they start, by fighting the viruses off before they get past your nose or mouth.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.scienceagogo.com/news/19990314232205data_trunc_sys.shtml" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/4021592558/" target="_blank">Photo</a>)
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/7c85d_top5.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> Having Sex Can Make Women Look More Attractive</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/7c85d_a98061_3679157952_c11e291e69_o.jpg" alt="Having Sex Can Make Women Look More Attractive" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
When women have sex their estrogen levels double, making their hair shinier and skin softer. “Estrogen seems to be the fountain of youth for women,” says Patti Britton, PhD, clinical sexologist. <br />Additionally, increased blood flow from an orgasm makes their cheeks more rosy and their lips redder –although, apparently, only in warmer temperatures. So if you ladies out there want a quick beauty treatment, consider heading to a steamy bedroom rather than the beauty salon.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://lifestyle.myjoyonline.com/pages/relationships/201111/76462.php" target="_blank">Link 1</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flushing_%28physiology%29" target="_blank">Link 2</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ourcitylights/3679157952/" target="_blank">Photo</a>)
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/d283c_top6.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> If You Are Sexually Active, You&#8217;ll Probably Get an STD</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/ae764_a98061_a026107.jpg" alt="If You Are Sexually Active, You'll Probably Get an STD" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Studies show over 80% of all sexually active adults will contract an STD at some point, although most won&#8217;t notice. That&#8217;s because 80% of all people who contract one of the 25 varieties of STDs don&#8217;t show any symptoms and most don&#8217;t even realize they have one. In fact, the American Social Health Association estimates that 80% of sexually active people contract the Human Papillomavirus (HPV) at one point in their life. While those statistics were taken before the HPV vaccine was released, the vaccine only prevents two of the most dangerous strains of the disease, meaning even those vaccinated can still catch one of the many other strains.
<p>While the numbers sound scary, the upside is that most people who contract an STD won&#8217;t suffer any negative effects as a result.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papillomavirus" target="_blank">Link</a>)</p>
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/ae764_top7.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> Birth Control Affects Women&#8217;s Taste in Men</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/d31ea_a98061_486046904_f86668fe9b_z.jpg" alt="Birth Control Affects Women's Taste in Men" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
The pill may have done wonders for women&#8217;s lib, but it turns out it might also be hurting their sex lives. A recent study has shown that women who are on the pill get with partners they find less attractive and worse in bed because these men offer better opportunities for a long-term relationship. While the women were less sexually satisfied, they were, on average, much happier with the non-sexual aspects of their relationships. Additionally, women on the pill stayed in relationships for an average of two years longer than those who were not on the medication.
<p>Researchers believe this is because the pill affects the chemistry of a woman&#8217;s brain, making them more interested in obtaining a long-term relationship than finding someone they would be more sexually compatible with.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/pill-affects-womens-taste-in-men-20111013-1lm42.html" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/blmurch/486046904/" target="_blank">Photo</a>)</p>
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/d31ea_top8.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> Diet Can Affect the Flavor of Semen</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b08ff_a98061_5609873161_e78d851138_z.jpg" alt="Diet Can Affect the Flavor of Semen" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
Gentlemen, if you want your lady to be more orally fixated, you might want to consider switching your diet for her pleasure. As it turns out, sugary fruits like kiwi, watermelon and pineapple make semen taste lighter, while beer and coffee leave it with a strong, bitter flavor. Meat and fish can make it taste more buttery, while acidic fruits like cranberries, plums and liquors can give it a sugary flavor. Whatever you do, don&#8217;t chug milk before hitting the hay as dairy can cause semen to taste foul due to its high bacterial levels.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_100/117_love_answers.html#ixzz1dktV3Azm" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ebarney/5609873161/" target="_blank">Photo</a>)
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b08ff_top9.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> Female Sexuality is Still Largely a Mystery</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/d45e9_a98061_2268845904_e6b1bb0a3a_z.jpg" alt="Female Sexuality is Still Largely a Mystery" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
There is, as yet, no scientific consensus on whether or not the G-Spot exists or if female ejaculation is real. Critics of the G-Spot largely focus their arguments on the fact that because so many women do not experience vaginal orgasms, that it must not exist. Additionally, they point out that there is no area inside the vagina with more nerve endings than any other area. They also use the discovery about the clitoris being internal to argue that vaginal orgasms are caused by the same organ, not a separate erogenous zone.<br />Proponents of the G-Spot argue that the vagina does have an erogenous zone that swells up when excited and that this area provides an additional lubricant when it is sexually aroused. They also show that ultrasound studies show changes to the area during sex.<br />The debate on female ejaculation is often tied in with the G-Spot argument as proponents argue that ejaculation is tied in with stimulation of the G-Spot. While it is widely accepted that some women have been known to gush fluid during orgasm, the debate largely centers around what the fluid is actually made of. Many critics claim the fluid is simply urine. Some proponents argue that it is a separate substance, while others debate that it is urine; but urine is filled with a unique selection of chemicals, making it qualify as a sexually-induced ejaculation regardless of the connection with the bladder.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G-Spot" target="_blank">Link 1</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_ejaculation" target="_blank">Link 2</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/photojonny/2268845904/" target="_blank">Photo</a>)
<p></p>
<h2 class="subtit"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/d45e9_top10.gif" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /> Women&#8217;s Sex Organs Are Now Being Studied More Often</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b1181_a98061_3951142846_276c3b96fe_z.jpg" alt="Women's Sex Organs Are Now Being Studied More Often" class="imgl" border="0" /><br />
There are a few main reasons that so little is known about female sexuality. For one, the clitoris, the G-Spot and female ejaculation, are all completely unrelated to reproduction and are instead all about pleasure (as a matter of fact, the clitoris is the only organ that exists solely for the purpose of pleasure), making many scientists believe they deserve less interest than the ovaries, vagina, penis or testicles. Of course, now that these sex organs are pretty well understood, scientists can feel free to move on to understanding the more complex role of non-reproductive sexual functions.
<p>Another reason has to do with the times. You&#8217;ll notice that the majority of the research on these aspects of female sex organs has been performed only within the last twenty years. In that time, two major changes have occurred –there are now far more women doctors and scientists than ever before, and technology has only now been afforded certain views of the human body. Naturally, females display more interest in what makes the female body go gaga, and without devices like the MRI, many discoveries, like that of the internal clitoris, would have been impossible to find.</p>
<p>Thanks to these changes, it&#8217;s pretty likely that the understanding of female sexuality will increase drastically in the next few decades.<br />
(<a rel="nofollow" href="http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/" target="_blank">Link</a> | <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/afroboof/3951142846/" target="_blank">Photo</a>)</p>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/eb9d4_Contribs.gif" /></p>
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		<title>5 Things You Should Know Before Trying to Fix Your Computer</title>
		<link>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/5-things-you-should-know-before-trying-to-fix-your-computer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/5-things-you-should-know-before-trying-to-fix-your-computer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Feb 2012 09:10:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>KrazyMan Knievel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Source Is Cracked]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/2012/02/5-things-you-should-know-before-trying-to-fix-your-computer/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I come from an era where computers were designed for geeks and geniuses. Without the Internet, their only practical uses were data storage, being a really expensive word processor and being a kickass solitaire machine. Growing up in that mindset, you learned to fix computers because there wasn&#8217;t much else to do with them. But [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<section class="BlogContent">
<p>I come from an era where computers were designed for geeks and geniuses. Without the Internet, their only practical uses were data storage, being a really expensive word processor and being a kickass solitaire machine. Growing up in that mindset, you learned to fix computers because there wasn&#8217;t much else to do with them. But now that they&#8217;re a common fixture in pretty much every household, it&#8217;s kind of ridiculous to expect <em>everyone</em> to know how to fix them. There are computer guys for that, just like there are mechanics to change the oil in your car or leather workers to repair your sex whips.</p>
<p />
<p>So I guess I shouldn&#8217;t really be surprised when I find people today &#8212; smart people who know their way around the Internet &#8212; who don&#8217;t know what to do when their computer flips out and starts shouting racial slurs at them. If you&#8217;re one of those people, pay attention, because what I&#8217;m about to tell you can save you hundreds of dollars. Before you pack up your injured (CENSORED) machine and drive it to the local repair shop, understand that &#8230;</p>
<p />
<p />
<p />
<p />
<p />
<p />
<h2 class="subheading">#5. Two Free Programs Could Fix the Whole Damn Thing</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7c0a_114604.jpg" width="610" height="203" /></p>
<p>Computer people, tell me if this sounds familiar: A friend calls you in a panic because every time they &#8220;do the Internet&#8221; they get booted out to a spam website completely at random. Their homepage has changed, too, and they need you to come over and &#8220;wipe it.&#8221; You recognize it as some simple hijacking malware, so you tell them, &#8220;Oh, that&#8217;s an easy fix. Just download <a target="c" href="http://fileforum.betanews.com/detail/Malwarebytes-AntiMalware/1186760019/1">Malwarebytes</a> and <a target="c" href="http://www.safer-networking.org/en/mirrors/index.html">Spybot Search and Destroy</a>, and run them. It&#8217;ll be fixed with virtually no effort on your part.&#8221;</p>
<p>But no matter what you tell them, they absolutely refuse to just click the download button. They want you to put your day on hold, drive over to their house and click the four buttons required to fix the problem because they are convinced that this is something that requires a high level of expertise. Nothing you say can change their mind, even though in your head the voices are screaming, &#8220;JUST CLICK THE GODDAMN BUTTON! CLICK IT, YOU SON OF A BITCH!&#8221;</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7c0a_114612.jpg" width="320" height="194" /><br />It&#8217;s <em>right there</em>, for the love of God!</p>
<p>Finally, they realize that you don&#8217;t want to spend your day sitting in their living room waiting for a two-hour scan to complete, so they give in and say, &#8220;It&#8217;s no big deal. I&#8217;ll just take it to a repair shop and have them wipe it.&#8221; Wait, what? You don&#8217;t have to wipe it. It&#8217;s a simple fix. Just download the programs and <em><strong>click the goddamn button, you son of a bitch! Click it!</strong></em> Instead, you grit your teeth and tell them, &#8220;I&#8217;ll be over in an hour.&#8221;</p>
<p>If any of this is going over the heads of people who aren&#8217;t computer savvy, let me explain. Malware are programs distributed by dickwad companies that get downloaded and installed to your computer, usually without your knowledge. They can be attached to other seemingly innocent programs like Weatherbug, screen savers or a simple flash game. They can also be embedded right into the website you&#8217;re visiting, so that simply <em>looking at their page</em> infects your computer. If your computer&#8217;s problem is that it&#8217;s running slow or spawning popups or redirecting you to another website at random, this is most likely the cause. And it&#8217;s fixable without you having to pay some guy $200 to do it for you. Wiping your computer is not the solution because the actual fix takes half as long, and you don&#8217;t lose any of your files in the process.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7c0a_114613.jpg" width="298" height="320" /><br />Oh, hey, look! The problem is solved, and all I had to do was click &#8220;fix&#8221;!</p>
<p>The awesome thing is that <em>the repair programs are totally free</em>, so if they don&#8217;t work, you&#8217;ve lost nothing. You&#8217;ll get a billion nerds telling you a billion different programs to use, because nerds are annoying elitists who need to shut the (CENSORED) up, but the ones I linked above are the ones that I&#8217;ve had a 100 percent success rate using. And neither one charges you a goddamn penny. Just download them, install them and run them. Just &#8230; click the goddamn button. Please? Using them is as easy as following the directions on a microwave pizza. Everything is streamlined because it&#8217;s written for average people who consistently get themselves into computer trouble. &#8220;Click here. Now click here. Now sit back and let the program do its thing.&#8221;</p>
<p>Or you could, you know, take it to a guy who will do the same exact thing, except charge you $200.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7c0a_114614_v1.jpg" width="242" height="320" />Photos.com<br />No! All you have to do is just click the- ah, (CENSORED) it.</p>
<p>You&#8217;re not going to mess it up. Get your damn hands dirty and fix that bastard. The things you learn by repairing your own machine will save you thousands of dollars worth of repairs in your lifetime. However, if you do find a problem that&#8217;s over your head, you&#8217;ll sometimes find that the repair shop is unavoidable. If that&#8217;s the case, know that &#8230;</p>
<p />
<h2 class="subheading">#4. It&#8217;s Going to Be Expensive as Hell</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7c0a_114600_v1.jpg" width="610" height="203" /></p>
<p>That sounds obvious, doesn&#8217;t it? Believe me, it&#8217;s not to many people.</p>
<p>Before you pick up the phone, tell the person that your computer &#8220;is being stupid&#8221; and ask how much it&#8217;s going to cost to fix it, know that the reason their response will sound muffled is because they&#8217;re talking through gritted teeth while flipping off the phone. It&#8217;s impossible to give an exact diagnosis over the phone for the same reasons that your doctor couldn&#8217;t tell that you have bronchitis without first running a few tests. But with the right information, they can give you a couple of scenarios and at least a ballpark estimate of each.</p>
<p>This is important, because hourly rates vary dramatically from shop to shop. I&#8217;ve heard prices range from $40 to $150 per hour. If your local shop falls into those higher rates and your repair is going to take three or four hours, you&#8217;re now talking about a bill that&#8217;s equal to a brand new tower. Yep, from time to time it&#8217;s actually <em>cheaper to buy a whole new system</em>. And that is a very real decision you&#8217;re going to have to make. &#8220;Do I repair the one I have, or is it smarter to just buy a completely new machine?&#8221;</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7c0a_114599.jpg" width="320" height="320" />Photos.com<br />Sadly, the garbage can is worth more.</p>
<p>I talked <a target="c" href="http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-guy-whos-fixing-your-computer-hates-you/">in another article</a> about how your 5-year-old machine is basically worthless now, and this is something that very few people are prepared to hear. It seems downright unfair that the system you paid a thousand dollars for just a few years ago has been reduced to the price of the scrap metal inside it, but that&#8217;s the way the computer world works. So now it&#8217;s down to some simple math.</p>
<p>If your current computer is worth 50 bucks and the problem is a fried hard drive, is it worth spending $100 on a new one? More importantly, how long do the rest of your components have before they are obsolete? Are you about to drop that much money on a hard drive, only to be forced into buying a brand new system next year? Ask the tech if the repair they&#8217;re about to perform boils down to polishing a turd.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7c0a_114601.jpg" width="320" height="220" />Photos.com<br />&#8220;Wait, this is a joke, right? Did Chad put you up to this?&#8221;</p>
<p>I can&#8217;t tell you how many times I&#8217;ve seen a person sink 300 bucks into a repair when they could have spent the same amount for a lower end tower that is actually <em>more powerful than the one they just fixed</em>. Remember, you already have working components that don&#8217;t need to be replaced: mouse, keyboard, monitor, etc. When you strip all of that out of the overall price and just look at the cost of the tower alone, you&#8217;ll be surprised how cheap it is.</p>
<p>But in order to even reach the point of making that decision, they&#8217;re going to need some detailed information. And none of their ballpark estimates will mean jack shit if you&#8217;re not willing to &#8230;</p>
<p />
<h2 class="subheading">#3. Be Honest With the Repair Person</h2>
<p><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7c0a_114602.jpg" width="610" height="203" /></p>
<p>If you&#8217;ve ever seen the show <em>House</em>, you know that they regularly bring up an interesting phenomenon we do as humans that just destroys any chance we have at helping others: &#8220;Everybody lies.&#8221; Any person who has ever worked at a job fixing things can tell you that it&#8217;s absolutely true, and it is the most frustrating thing in the world to computer techs.</p>
<p>The thing is, there is nothing you can do on a computer that we haven&#8217;t already seen a thousand times. We know people watch (CENSORED) &#8212; hell, three-fourths of all repairs I&#8217;ve ever made have been because of bad (CENSORED) sites. I&#8217;ve seen a computer overheat because the person stuffed a bag of weed inside the case and the plastic got caught in the fan. I&#8217;ve seen a tower infested with roaches, and another that got infected with a virus because a little (CENSORED)head kid was trying to learn how to make and distribute one.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7c0a_114606_v1.jpg" width="320" height="208" />Photos.com<br />I like to picture him doing it like this because, as well all know, this is what hackers look like.</p>
<p>Yet people are still afraid to come clean with what they were doing when things went to shit, opting instead to say, &#8220;I don&#8217;t know. I was using it just fine one minute, and the next thing I knew it just went crazy on me, out of the blue!&#8221; They&#8217;re afraid to simply tell us what happened because nobody wants to be blamed. Like they&#8217;re afraid we&#8217;ll look at them differently or scold them for being so stupid.</p>
<p>The truth is (aside from the oddball cases I just mentioned), <em>almost everybody does exactly what you were doing</em>. The reason repair guys have a job in the first place is because people continually mess up their computers by going to bad websites, downloading screen savers, opening spam emails, installing questionable games and using torrent sites without knowing how to spot the bad shit.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7c0a_114607_v1.jpg" width="273" height="320" />Photos.com<br />Have the people at Photos.com ever actually <em>seen</em> a goddamn computer?</p>
<p>By not being honest about how your computer got screwed in the first place, you&#8217;re adding additional time to the repair process. Because now the tech has to track down the source of the problem to make sure it&#8217;s not coming from a file buried in the system that will simply respawn the same problems once the symptoms have been alleviated. And that translates into more money that you&#8217;ll be paying because you&#8217;d rather keep your poop fetish to yourself. Wanna know something scary? In the process of fixing the computer, <em>they&#8217;re going to find out anyway</em>.</p>
<p align="center"><img src="http://www.afro-squad.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b7c0a_114608.jpg" width="309" height="320" /><br />Awwww, that&#8217;s so cute. Nice try, little buddy.</p>
<p>Trying to cover your tracks by deleting your history and clearing your cache only adds more time to the repair. Which brings me to &#8230;</p>
<p />
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