We’d like to announce the launch of our celebrity site about pro wrestling couple, the Kendricks.  Please check it out at www.wrestling911.com/kendrick

“The first thing I think of in the morning is what is coming out of the A.N.U.S.,” said Herman Meltonstein, an elderly reader.  “I want to sit down and see a big pile of celebrity gossip, and when I think of big piles of steamy gossip, I think of this website.”

We find pleasure in having something new come out of the A.N.U.S. every morning.  In fact, we are up all night churning new material, just so you can squat down with a hot cup of coffee and enjoy our work.  If you find just one nugget of pleasure, we feel we have done our job.

The fight between reality TV’s most famous dad, Jon Gosselin , and TLC is finally over.

“TLC has reached a settlement with Jon Gosselin and will be undertaking procedural steps to conclude the litigation,” the network said in a statement Wednesday. “Jon will receive six packs of smokes, some ‘douchbag’ t-shirts, hair gel, and three trips to see an Asian hooker.”

A source close to the situation says that “Jon is very happy with the deal,” and, “is just content to be rid of the bitch.”

Heidi Montag recently had ten cosmetic surgical operations.  However, many people are saying that she looks worse after all the surgery.  A particular item of discussion is that many people say that her lips look worse since the surgery.  We’ve interviewed both Heidi and her lips, and we’ll let them give their opinions.

Heidi:  “I think people expect you to look perfect.  I had several botox and fat injections, which I think make my lips look more full.  In fact, I think they look great!”

Heidi’s lips:  “Leave us the f#ck alone, bitch!”