I love the picture below.  It just makes me laugh that somebody would be so angry that they would want to throw a VCR onto a burning bus.  (I have NEVER been THAT angry.)

Anyway, in celebration of this picture, we’ll be putting a “picture of the day” in the side column from now until May 31.  Depending on the popularity, we may continue.  Hope you enjoy!!!

The 33929 code will be slowly integrated to minimize confusion and service disruptions for the thousands of customers that use Kardashian’s ass.

Some, however, are not so keen on the new change.

“It is all just so vast and confusing. We need structure,” said one New Yorker.

“You running out of numbers, you running out of tokens, you running out of subways, you running out of jobs,” said another New Yorker. “The only thing we ain’t running out of is Kim’s ass.”

Service providers will begin customer education mid-year to prepare for the new code.

In January 2010, Fox executives captured a 6’8” 450 pound male Yeti.  After subjecting him to a series of secret videos, and making him stand in a six-sided body mirror, they convinced Yeti that he needed a makeover.

“We offered Yeti a $2,000 spending limit to hit the stores on New York,” said Bill Smith, an executive with the show.  “We gave him a haircut, tattoos, and tried to fit him size 20 Steve Madisons.”

In a big unveiling to his family the Yeti stated, “Uaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!”

I took this picture in Orlando, FL.  I would like to file it under, “funny crap that teenagers do.”

Washington – After the US military announced they would start overturning the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, many gays are pushing hard for continual probing of top military officials, over allegations of anti-gay sentiment.

“We have been wanting to probe these men for years, but we just couldn’t get in the front door because of all the restrictions,” said Dr. Hanz Meuller, leader of Gay Activates Yearly.  “This is a great opportunity for us to enter through the back door and really get deep into this.  I won’t rest until we are knee deep in there!!!”

After announcing they will begin to change the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, many in Washington are starting to question what policy will be adopted.  Leading military officials are leaning to a “Don’t Tell, I Already Know” policy, where gays just act in an over manner so they don’t have to tell.  Others are pushing for a “Go Ahead and Tell, But I Feel Awkward While Listening” policy.  Many gays prefer the “You Can Ask, But I Am Not Going To Tell Because My Dad Wouldn’t Approve.  That Is Why He Made Me Join The Military” policy.

Officials in Washington DC blame the Mulletmaster (AKA Ron Gamine) for the event that has caused a disaster of biblical proportions.  Gamine, a henchmen of the Man, was last seen fornicating in the “drilling room.”  His last known Twitter post stated, “I wonder what will happen if I push this ‘self destruct’ button.”  That was posted just minutes before a fire broke out on the BP leased rig in the Gulf of Mexico.

BP has stated that they regret installing the self destruct button, and should have put it in a less obvious place. 

“We had the button next to the light switch in the cafeteria.  We figured if we marked it “do not push,” then there was enough safeguards in place.     

On Saturday night, when ROFL Con was over and I was packing to go to New York, I noticed someone slipping a piece of paper under my hotel room door:

Due to a broken water main in Boston, the water supply in 38 counties is currently unsafe to drink. Bottled water should be used for drinking. Tap water may also be used for drinking or cooking, provided it is first boiled for several minutes. Thank you for your understanding.

I didn’t think much about it until the next day, when the hotel didn’t have coffee. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t just boil water so they could make coffee, but I figured once I got to the train station, I’d get a cup of Dunks and everything would be all right again.

When we got to the train station, I was horrified to see that Dunks was simply closed. “NO WATER” it said on the door.

But that isn’t exactly true, is it Dunks? No, there’s water, but you just didn’t want to boil any. That would take effort. Why go to all the trouble of actually making coffee? It’s not like you’re famous for it or anything. And who drinks coffee on Sunday anyway? Oh Jesus, I’m getting mad all over again.

Needless to say, by the time I got on the train I was really cranky. So I availed myself of Amtrak’s free Wi-Fi to post this status update on the Regretsy fan page:

As you can see, this diatribe resulted in over 200 comments, and 4 people “unfanned” themselves as a result of my vulgarity. You can imagine how much I miss them.

But more significantly, we here at Regretsy world headquarters (me) received many requests for T-shirts commemorating the whole caffeine starved episode. And as you know, T-shirts and other merchandise help fund our charity efforts, so who are we to say no?

And so, our own delightful Bronc designed this beautiful T-shirt, featuring completely unnecessary invective layered over a beautiful map of Beantown.

Rumors are circulating that Kourtney’s camp set this up to get her some attention and sympathy post-baby, but that’s not necessarily true…. although I feel it’s just as likely as Scott Disick having suspicious goings-on with other ladies behind Kourtney’s back. The guy has cheater-face, and if you ever saw KUWTK, you probably caught his past cheating drama, and the subsequent break-up.

If you’ve been following Kourtney’s drama whirlwind, it was suggested that Scott’s baby was not actually his own, because Kourt had a one-night stand with Michael Girgenti, who said “We didn’t use any protection – she didn’t ask me about it, and I was too caught up in the moment to think about it” when talking about the fling.

We’ll have to wait and see if things unfold any further in the paternity test issue, because Scott’s said to have spoken to In Touch about it in an exclusive interview. It couldn’t have been a very long interview, because it barely made the cover, but it’s most likely a statement reiterating that Mason is indeed his.

Are you surprised that Scott’s rumored to have cheated? (Anyone… anyone?) I’m definitely looking into the baby daddy angle again. It seems like the Kardashians are avoiding this part of the drama, which makes it more suspicious.

http://www.limelife.com/blog-entry/Kourtney-Kardashians-Boyfriend-Cheats-Again/34484.html

“I was relaxing at home when it happened,” said the victim.  “All was well, then I realized something was fishy.  As it turned out, it was the finger of this criminal mastermind.”

The Brown Bandit has been linked to a trail of sanchez related activities.  This includes a stinky sanchez, at least eight recorded dirty sanchez occurrences, a filthy sanchez, several donky punches, and at least one ghetto finger!

Please check back regularly as we solve this case!!!

(This is one of a series of Sanchez News Articles on http://afrosquad.wordpress.com.  Check them out!