An Interview with a Stripper:  Breck
by Red Ninja - a Ninja in Red
Red Ninja:  Wow, thanks for the neck massage. 

Breck:  No Problem.

So, please tell us a little about yourself.

Breck:  My name is Breck, and I am originally from Northern Michigan. 

Breck, huh.  Is that your real name? 

Breck:  No, it is a nickname that my Dad gave me as a kid.  He used to say that I had hair like the Breck girl.  You know, the shampoo. 

Yeah, Erin Rogers from Buck Rogers was the Breck girl in the 70s.  How old are you?

Breck:  Just over 30.  Thanks for asking. 

Aside from having great hair, you have very manicured eyebrows.  They look very posh.

Breck:  Thanks!  Not too many guys notice.  I had them tattooed on a few years back.  I had them shaped, then I had a tattoo done in the shape I wanted.  It makes them very easy to manage.

Well they look very sexy.  Much like Pamela Lee.  In fact, you have other assets like Pamela.  I take it that those aren't real.

Breck:  Yeah, I bought them about 10 years ago... before I started dancing.  They are a D cup. 

Do they help in your line of work?

Breck:  Not really, and I wouldn't recommend them to new girls.  A lot of guys prefer small chested babes.  They also being a lot of attention when I am out in public, and I don't always want that sort of attention.

Well they look fantastic from here.  Are they silicone? 

Breck:  Yeah, they were using silicone when I got them.  I will probably get them reduced to a smaller implant in a few years.

Do you have a lot of friends in the club?

Breck:  No, I keep to myself.  It is an hour commute to work, and I just prefer to be private.  A lot of girls like to blow their money on alcohol and drugs, but I never touch the stuff.  I am strait-edged.  Some girls party so much that they can't make the ends meet.  They don't even have a car. 

So, do you have any other jobs?

Breck:  Yeah, I went to school and work with a cosmetic surgeon.  I do hair implants.  I used the money that I earned here to start this career. 

That's wonderful.  You seem to have your act together.  This is an interesting club.  There are two clubs next to each other on Eight Mile.  What do you know about the other club, Tycoons?

Breck:  I only know what I hear, which is rumors.  Every time I have been in there though, it has been very nice.

What rumors have you heard?

Breck:  The guys say that they girls aren't as nice.  I won't pick on them though.  You should go there and see for yourself.

I was surprised that there aren't many black girls working here.  The community is black, but I only see one black girl.

Breck:  Yeah, the management is funny like that.  They have a system.  They don't want to become a all-black club.  I personally like to see a variety of ladies. 

Me too.  Is the girl on stage black?  She has amazing knockers.

Breck:  Yeah, she is.  She is a lot of fun.

So, what is the etiquette here at Players? 

Breck:  If you want a private dance, you pay $5 to the lady at the door.  Then you pay $20 to the girl of your choice.  You get one song in a private booth behind the stage.  If you want another dance, it is another $20.

Well, I don't want a dance, but I'd be happy to tip you or buy you a drink. 

Breck:  No thanks, that's OK.  I just like talking.  Right now I am bouncing. 

Bouncing?

Breck:  Yeah, that's when you bounce from table to table to see who wants a dance.

Have you talked to the guy sitting in the corner.  I haven't seen a single girl talk to him. 

Breck:  He's a "regular irregular."  That's what we call guys who come in here, do business, but rarely get individual dances. 

What about tips?  What is the etiquette?  I don't see many people giving tips.

Breck:  People don't tip much during the day.  They come in, eat lunch, and maybe get a private dance. 

That's pretty interesting.  It has been great talking with you.  Thanks for you time. 

Breck:  No problem.  I am going to go try and make some money.

Comedy of the Month:  GhostBusters
by Hollywood Fozzy
     Up until the release of "Ghostbusters" in 1984, nobody was entirely sure who to call when there was something strange in their neighborhood.  By the end of that year, there wasn't a kid around who didn't fancy strapping on a proton pack..

   Punted from a New York university grant program for their less-than-orthodox approach to research, three scientists decide to go into business for themselves as ghost exterminators. A derelict fire station, jazzed up ambulance, and some unlicensed nuclear accelerators later and our boys are in business. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Ray Stantz (Dan Aykroyd) and Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis) are the Ghostbusters.

Velvet Jones:  Velvet Love                              
Who among us has not dreamed of faraway places and intertwined lovers? Hi, I'm Velvet Jones. And if you love love as much as I do, I know you will want to buy my latest Velvet Jones Harlequin romance books. There are many exquisite titles to choose from, such as... [  Velvet Love

Excerpt:  "When she touched her lips to the glass, Lawanda's heart beat inside her. I knew from that very first moment that the three dollars I had spent on wine would not go to waste."

Wasn't that romantic? But wait, there's more. Allow me to read from one of my personal favorites:

"I saw her standing at the gates of the Lincoln Tunnel. Dare I approach her? My heart pounded inside my chest. I felt a burning in my loins I had never felt before. Thus, I realized I had been...Kicked in the Butt by Love.

Yes, endless evenings of romance can all be yours, if you order now.

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Velvet Jones: Who wrote the book of love? Velvet.  It's as simple as that.