Donald
Skumsfeld:
Formerly known as Donald Rumsfeld, "Skummy" picked up his pimping
game after he stepped down as the U.S. Secretary of Defense.
"If I knew then what I know now, I would have used the Red Ninja to
fight the War on Terror," he said. Despite his attempts to
become the 2007 Pimp of the Year, he may never live down the
notorious Guantanamo Bay Ho Abuse allegations.
"Scary"
John Kerry:
Runner
up to
Lil' George in the 2003 Pimp of the
Year elections, an election that was greatly affected by the Swift
Bitch Veterans for Truth. We are not sure of the caliber of
his hoes, because even though a cold hearted ice princess may not be
worth much in Compton, Teresa Heinz Kerry is worth a lot in New
England.
Mackatron:
Formerly known as Megatron, Mackatron has been envious of Optimus
Pimp since he won the Pimp of the Year awards in 1985.
As the theme song goes, the AutoPimps wage their battle to destroy
the evil forces of the DiscoCons.
Not
So Evil Bert:
Framed by the website
"Bert is Evil,"
Good Bert is one of the most fun-loving pimps in
AfroSquad history. Although detractors point out that he pimps
on the corner of Sesame Street and PBS Drive, is brought to you by
the letters F and U, and that his fingers smell like bacon after he
visits Miss Piggy, we all know that Bert is a true hero for men and
women everywhere.
F'n
Delano Roosevelt:
In the
30s during the depression, he created the New Deal, and now he is
willing to offer homeless teenage women a New Deal as well. He
is also known for starting Social Security, which is a program that
he now intends to get rid of. "Now that Viagra is available to
the elderly, I will make sure that they are working hard again," he
claims.
The
NinjaPimp:
In 2006 the Man hypnotized the NinjaPimp and turned
him into a complete butthole. This cost him any chance at
repeating as the Pimp of the Year. In 2007, however, he is
dedicated to pimping bigger and harder than ever! "The party
at NinjaPimp.com won't stop until everybody's pregnant!" he
promises.
